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Matthew Shepard: 10 Years Later
Today is Oct. 12 2008. It has been ten years since the death of Matthew Shepard. A decade. I was fifteen years old when it happened, and I am positively sick at what’s happened to this country since then.
That young man died, the way countless others have, because he was gay. Not only that, but his death was one of the most painful, and long torture experiences I have ever heard of. This was the biggest national story about violence against homosexuality, probably ever. And still. Still, this wasn’t a big enough deal for our country to wake up from this homophobic nightmare that we all share, gay or straight. Whether you realize it or not.
And this is… This is stunning. I’ve been researching for this, and I … I just never imagined it would be this bad. This is an ugly awful truth about what homophobia has done to every family, every person in this country.
Homophobia is killing American children. Plain and simple.
The numbers are staggering… just the amount.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among those 15-24, and the fourth leading among children between the ages of 10 and 14. In 2005, 8 percent of high school students reported in a national Centers for Disease Control and Prevention survey that they attempted suicide in the previous year. 7.9 per 100,000 rate for 15-24 year olds in the US. If you live in a large US city, (my home in New York, for example with approximately 2003 population of 19,190,115) that means over 1300 suicides a year in that age group alone.
As many as one-third of those cases relate directly to the level of homophobia in the United States. Gay teenagers are the number one risk group for suicide in this country. But its bigger than that. This isn’t a “gay” problem. This is an American problem. Because all of our children, not just gay children, or the children of same sex couples, are in danger.
The climate of fear that has risen in this country has made the fear, just the FEAR, of being gay so much you’d rather die than even TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT! Fear that our parents will disown us. Fear that we’ll be dead of disease. Fear of always being alone. Fear of being hated, beaten, and yes brutally murdered in our own home towns.
Now this fear is something that everyone experiences, because (don’t even try to argue this, so help me) everyone has and will wonder about their own sexuality. What isn’t being made clear to our kids is that its okay for the question to be there. It isn’t something to be driven out, because you can’t.
So let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you’re a straight family in a straight world, and hey you’ve even got an honest to goodness straight kid. Now what if you’re straight kid has a bully picking on him. Happens to everybody.
But do you know what those kids are saying to each other on the playground?
Faggot. Queer. Homo. On and on, you know the song! They use gay-bashing terminology first and foremost. It was true when I was 15 a decade ago when Matt was killed, and its true now while my 16 year old sister is there. Was it true when you were in school?
So, you’re wonderful, “perfectly” straight child has now had the fear of homosexuality injected into them by force. You laid all the groundwork, making sure they knew it was bad to be gay just so they would know how to handle this, right?
Wrong. You packed gunpowder into your kid as if he was a keg, and now this stupid child, a dumb bully using the words of hateful adults is going to set it off.
A child who realizes they are gay usually feels horror, or self-hate. What’s worse is, they think if they let anyone know that their life will be over. They don’t think, they KNOW that you will hate them for turning out “wrong”, “dirty”, “evil”, etc. They never talk to anyone. They break. And we lose them forever over this.
Can you live with that?
Is this the America you dreamed of creating for your children??
Homophobia weakens us, and it sickens us in ways you don’t want to look at, I know. It was hard to research this. I’ve never been so angry that I’ve just trembled, but this is it. Over a hundred thousand of our children attempt suicide each year. We can never know exactly how many of those kids were affected by homophobia but we do know that the number is high and entirely preventable.
First step! Passing the Matthew Shepard Act in 2009.
The M.S.A. is a bill to strengthen the Fed’s laws against Hate Crimes, which as of today, ten years after Matt’s death, only covers: race, color, religion, or national origin. It would be expanded to authorize the Dep. of Justice the power to investigate and prosecute those who commit crimes against those of actual or PERCEIVED sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, or disability. I think they’re looking out for disabled people on the last one, not insinuating we’re all gay and gimpy. It also eliminates the ridiculous requirement that this attack occurs while you’re engaged in a “federally-protected activity” like voting or going to school. This would also allow gender and gender identity to be counted in the Hate Crimes Statistics Act.
And while it is certainly important to get out and vote this Nov. for President, I feel its just as important that we make sure the democrats get a majority in congress. Sixty senate seats, at the very least. The Matthew Shepard Foundation is strongly supporting reintroduction of the bill (failed as the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention act of 2007) in the House of Reps. March 20th, and in the Senate on April 12th.
Now I’m not the type to just trust the Democrats to do the god damned right thing.
That’s where you and I come in. I want everyone who sees this video, and can’t stand to see our country stoop any lower, to get out in their community and raise awareness on the issue. Not just preaching to your respective choirs either! Get out and open the discussion somewhere with someone you don’t know is going to like it. We need to raise the awareness before change can happen. Let’s see some letters to your local, state, and federal representatives. Democrats, I believe, will skirt the issue if they can. We have to push it! It will save lives.
Lives like that of a 15 year old boy in Oxnard, CA, who on Valentines day admitted to classmates that he had a V-day crush on another boy. The boy got wind of this, and the next day showed up to school with a gun and shot him in the back of the head. Fifteen year olds killing each other at school over homophobia… how far does it have to go?
There aren’t going to be any bigger signs, America. It’s time to stop it all. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. People are dying, children are dying, every day because of this fear we are letting control us.
America does not run on fear! I’ve had enough! No more bullshit.
Its time that the wacko’s with their hate had a turn at being silent. The way to get them there won’t be shame, or love, but action. We are American citizens and we have a responsibility to get the laws in this country changed. I feel like, we owe it to Matt too.
Jenime is an artist living in the SF bay area. You can watch her musings and ravings any time by visiting her channel on YouTube.
33 Responses to Matthew Shepard: 10 Years Later
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Schrack Attack
November 3, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Kim,
I am so sorry you are going through this! please…Don’t Give Up!!! Please find the help you need to get out of there. I will be thinking of you.
Kim
November 3, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Jenime, I just wanted to tell you today I got called some really bad things in biology. I was really hurting again today and I wanted to give up. I don’t know why but, what you said stuck in my head and wouldn’t go away.
“Don’t give up, I don’t want you to.” I don’t know why that stuck so much but, it did. Every time someone would say something mean or hurtful, your words kept popping my head. I know you don’t me but, you helped me today.
Everyone here has helped me but, I just wanted you to know those exact words stuck in my head.
kim
November 3, 2008 at 5:01 pm
You ask why I stay… hmmm well there’s a few reasons.
One: my kids love them.
Two: the good days are good (other then the fact I can’t stand the thought of him touching and that sex with him makes me sick).
Three: I have a condition called Lymphedema, didn’t cause me much trouble when I was younger my dad kept me in a compression stocking and you couldn’t tell it was different.
After I moved out on my own I let it go and when I got pregnant 3 times in a roll I found out what Lymphedema can be like left untreated. Its bad my leg is about 4 to 5 times the size of my other leg right now and it got to a point I had trouble walking. I can get it back down but, its a long painful process that will take a couple years. Which I’m working on but, who the heck is going to want me like this? I don’t even wanna be me I can’t stand to look at me anymore. Theres no girl out there that would want me I know that. My ex says it doesn’t touch me I’m still the prettiest girls shes ever seen but, she loved me before I was like this so she sees with the eyes of love and shes taken. I don’t like telling that online because I like to forget it writing it (typing) makes it real to me. But, you asked why and thats part of why.
Heres my life…
The first time he hurt me I was 5 months pregnant we got into a fight and he pushed me and I fell to the ground. He cried and cried and said he was sorry.
The next time was a long time later my daughter was 1 1/2 and my son 2 1/2 it was christmas eve, We got into a big fight. He really said some mean things and I needed to get away for a while. So I was going to call my dad to come and get me and the kids. I was sitting on the couch with my daughter standing right beside me. He told me to give him the phone and I said nope and I started to dail. He grabbed my hand and pushed it into my chest so hard it broke the phone and left bruses on my chest. He wouldn’t let go even though the phone was crunching in my hand. So I pushed him with my foot (not shoes) to get him off me. He then started kicking me with his steel toe boots on over and over and over. Just inches from my daughter. My only thought was oh god I hope he doesn’t miss and kick her. I grabbed her onto the couch. I was screaming and so were my kids. I got up and my leg was so brused I had to cancel my physical therapy appt. for the next 2 weeks. I started to pack my bags and my 2 1/2 year son cried daddy so hard I begged my husband to let me stay because he had asked me to leave after he kicked me.He said he was sorry and lets just forget it happened. I covered me leg and agreed.
Things were ok for a while then about 4 months ago we got into a fight in the van. We pulled into the drive way he jumped out and got on his motercycle to leave. My kids were crying so I got out and tried to get the keys out before he could leave. He grabbed my hand and twisted my arm until I fell hard to the ground. Then he pushed my arm into the driveway so hard I thought he broke my arm. (I still don’t know for sure I didn’t go to the doc.) Then when he came back he acted like nothing happened. He told my kids “hey kids lets go eat” we go there and I showed him my arm and I was having trouble using it. He said “well sorry next time don’t grab the keys”.
Then about a month ago we went to Memphis about a 2 hour drive. We faught the whole way there because I gave him a dirty look and it pissed him off. We got in front of his dads house and he got out through the debit card in my face and said “LEAVE BITCH!” I said “but, I don’t know my way around Memphis or were a hotel is I don’t know where to go with the kids” and he said “not my problem” It was the middle of the night and I had no clue where to go in Memphis. He shut the door and started to walk off my son (age 5) Opened the door and started screaming “dadddddy” My husband came back and told him to shut up and we could stay. But, he wanted them to lie and act like we had a good drive. I couldn’t do it. I went upstairs and layed down. He came up later and said “good night” like nothing had ever happened.
The next time I’ve already told you about. Thats my story and the reasons I stay. Good ones or bad ones thats the reasons I have.
~Julie Phineas~
November 3, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Kim… we are ALL very worried about you, and we know there are others out there just like you going through the same things.
Just so you know I was married, and my exhusbands family is Mormon. I knew I wasn’t happy but I stayed for my kids. When things started to get violent I left, I only had one child and he was only 8 months.
That was when I met my wife and I was SO happy with her, but felt I had to work out my marriage for my son. I went back to my husband and BAM got pregnant again!!! Now I had two children in this totally fucked up situation.
Gina asked me to run away with her when I was pregnant. I turned her down, said I couldn’t take my kids from their father and parted ways from her.
Things went downhill from there, I was unhappy and I got very sick because of it and we were fighting violently all the time. I found the strength to leave my husband, but was embarrassed to ask for anyones help and lived in a motel with my two babies for a while.
I got SOOOOO sick, and my family had turned on my since I left my husband and nobody helped me. Except for Gina… even though I was so hurtful to her going in and out of her life – she was the one person there for me through the hard times.
She stood by my side while I tried to work it out with their father, and when I was sure it just wouldnt she stood by my side while I cried over it too.
Kim… if you have bruises on you GO TO THE POLICE. Regardless of whether you are a lesbian or nto this is not okay. What are you waiting for? For things to get worse????
Why are you so afraid to leave… let’s address that part. My fear was doing the wrong thing for my kids… but I should have left when Gina asked me to runaway with her. The kids went through so much when I was with their father and I kick myself now for not getting us out immediately.
Don’t look back in regret… look forward with hope.
We can help you… you just have to take that first step and decide what you want to do.
Email us lezgetrealwriters-owner@yahoogroups.com we want to help you and your family any way we can.
Kim
November 3, 2008 at 8:32 am
I’m scared today… I will call the hot line when I get back from school He’ll be gone to work and the kids wont be home yet. But, I do need something or I can’t go on anymore. This is not me, I don’t get scared i don’t cry. Its like I’m looking in at someone else even though its really me.
I can’t even hide it anymore. I saw my ex a couple days ago and shes like “You ok” and I lied I mean the best lie I could possibly pull of and she didn’t believe me. She just kept asking me and telling me to talk to her. And I can’t because if she knew how bad I was hurting it would hurt her. And I can’t do that. Not to her, shes the last person on earth I’d ever want to hurt. I feel like giving up but, I’m to damn scared to even end it right. I don’t like who i’ve become. I want to be who I use to be when I was happy with her. I know I can’t be with her because she is happy with someone else but, I want to feel what we had again with somebody.
I’ve tried to be straight I really have wanted to be attracted to men but, I just so am not. Maybe thats why he gets so mad at me I can’t give him what needs. It makes me sick. He started putting two and two together latly that I always have to watch “movies” or talk about a girl before I can get in the mood and even that latly just isn’t working. And then afterwards I get sick. and I stay sick for a while. Its just nasty. I know I shouldn’t feel that way but, i do and I can’t change it.
I will call today… Thanks… I hate to come here with this but, I have to vent somewhere. I’m so tired of lieing I have to be able to tell the truth even if its just here.
Kim
November 3, 2008 at 7:13 am
Will look into those web pages and things at school today. Today things got bad. My husband was being mean to my son I mean really getting in his face and yelling at him and hes only 5. I told him to back off and leave him alone and he got up in my face and he pushed me hard. I pointed at him and told him he was going to do this to me. And He hit my arm hard enough I’ve got bruses. Then he walked in the bedroom and acted like nothing was wrong. I walked in there and said “do you think its right to hit me like that” and he said “yep, and if you ever say anything to me while I’m getting on your our son again I’ll do it again”. Its not the first time hes hurt me. I wanna leave but, I don’t know where to go.
Girl Afraid
November 2, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Dearest Kim,
We are here and we are listening. Posting this comment was a really brave step and I thank you for coming to us. Know that we care for you and you are not alone. It saddens me that you are hurting but you have to have faith and believe me that things will get better. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
“Yesterday I tried to kill myself”
Kim, I’m glad you failed!
ENCOURAGEMENT & LOVE,
Stephanie
There is HOPE and there is HELP.
Please go to: http://www.TheTrevorProject.org
THE TREVOR HELPLINE: 866-4-U-TREVOR [866-488-7386]
The Trevor Helpline is a free and confidential service that offers hope and someone to talk to, 24/7.
Jules Joyce
November 2, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Dear Kim,
I found two free phone numbers you can call at the GLBT National Help Center. The GLBT National Hotline # is 1-888-843-4564. The GLBT National Youth Talkline is 1-800-246-7743. Please call now!
Jules Joyce
November 2, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Dear Kim,
I have another suggestion. Where do you live? Is there a PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) (pflag.org) group in your area? They would be good people to get in touch with. It’s unhealthy to suffer in silence. Please find people you can talk to in person. And know you can always talk to us in cyberspace.
Jenime
November 2, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Hey Kim!
I’m so sorry you’re hurting so much. All I can say is that you’ve got to believe in yourself, cheesy as that might sound. Things are going to get better! Besides, we can’t let haters push us around. You have to be strong Kim, and you have to love yourself. Anyone who doesn’t love you just the way you are, no matter how much you love them, is someone that you don’t need in your life. Don’t give up, I don’t want you to.
~Julie Phineas~
November 2, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Kim…
I have been very quiet but I must speak up now. Cutting yourself is never the answer. I have been where you are, I left my childrens father and my whole family turned on me.
I have been dealing with a homophobic father for a long time, and recently my mother passed away. She was the only one who truly accepted me, yet she still told me she didn’t approve of my lifestyle, so how’s that for acceptance?
Anyways the things my dad has said to me are horrible, he told me about the baby Gina and I lost that “that bitch can’t even make a baby right”, called me a “loser zombie”, and told me that I should just get on a chain like his dog, at least his dog listens to him.
Of course I cut him out of my life, and I cut my exhusband out too because I wasn’t happy. You however live in an area where it could be dangerous to live your life out. I know its easy to say to think about the kids, but really as a mom you KNOW that your kids come first. That’s why you have to do your best to find who you truly are and go for it. If its to be with your husband, or another man or woman, then follow your heart but be careful.
Suicide is never the answer. Problems you are having are temporary… find a way to be grateful for them. If you are having problems that means things are changing, even if not in the way you prefer at the moment. You CAN GET THROUGH IT. You will be suprised at how tough you can be.
Remember they say that FEAR is False Expectations Appearing Real. 99.9% of the things we worry about never happen. But be realistic and don’t put yourself in dangerous situations.
That being said, you are a strong woman for being so brave to speak up and speak out at your class. (especially knowing they know your husband!) This in itself tells me that you have it in you to find that source of strength, hold onto to it, and let it lead you to do the right thing for you and your kids.
No matter what anybody ever says or does to me, they can NEVER stop me from loving my wife. That is one thing I will always have through poverty, sickness, and discrimination. You can have that too. It’s a hard tough road, and the beginning might be hell, but there is a brighter day on the other side of that road. You just have to take the right steps. I have added some links to this page for advice on suicide and also divorce. Take a look there. And also, we have a social network lezgetreal.ning.com you can go there to talk to all of us writers and add us as friends. You ALWAYS have us to talk to when you need a friend.
Please take care Kim.
And anyone else reading this is also invited to join us on the social network or reach out to us for help. Please don’t ever think that suicide is the answer. It’s not.
Jules Joyce
November 2, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Dear Kim,
I’m very worried about you. Please know we care about you. Since I can’t talk to you in person, I feel helpless. Please call a crisis line. And please talk to your friends who do accept you. Tell them you cut your wrist. You will get help. Your life will get better.
kim
November 2, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Yesturday I tried to kill myself. I tried to tell my dad, I really want to tell him we’ve always been close but, I brought up homosexuality and all he did was talk about the bible and how they go to hell. He got angry and I didn’t even get to the part hey and btw your daughter is one. last night I got really really depressed thinking nothing I do will ever matter. If I am honest about who I am, I will lose everything I love everyone I care about. I cut my wrist and then I got scared I couldn’t go through with it. Then today I had this big cut I had to explain to everyone with yet another lie.
I hate myself today, I don’t think I want to live if own dad can’t expcept me. I don’t know if anybody will even read this but, I wanted to post it someone where and I didn’t know where else to go. I can’t say it out loud because only a few people will listen the people closest to me will not.
Things were good when I just told a few friends but, everyone else will hate me. My family, my pastor who is like family
I hate me , I don’t want to be this way anymore but, I can’t change. My paster says “Just live the way God wants you too and he will change you in time” well he hasn’t yet!
Kim
October 29, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Today was crazy. In my biology class they were talking about the up coming elections and stuff and someone some how brought up gay rights and stuff and they were all talking bad about homosexuals and finally I just like blurted out to everyone that I was Homosexual and that I had dated a girl for many years before I got married and that I wish they would just shut the F up. Then I was like freaking out because I just blurted this out to a room full of people who not only have classes with me but, my husband. They couldn’t believe that I am a lesbian most of these people have known me since Kindergarden and the rest since right after high school. Most the girls looked discused but, nobody said much of anything. Most the guys wanted to know who my g/f was in high school and I wouldn’t tell them because I respect her and its her choice to tell people.
kim
October 26, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Thanks everybody
Its amazing how just saying it really makes a difference in how you feel inside. I’m 25 years old I can’t believe its taking me this long to say it. But, at least its slowly getting better. When I get out of college in a few years I will be making REALY GOOD Money and then I will have no problem going where I need to go to get the help I need. But, in the mean time this is really helping posting here and telling the few people I’ve told in person. I feel its possible it can work out. My offer still stands if anybody wants to talk my e-mail is listed above. Never hurts to have friends. Thanks again. I feel good today and like tomorrow will be even better.
p.Johanna
October 26, 2008 at 3:26 pm
hey kim. i have to tell you, i was living with my girlfriend and still didn’t think i was a lesbian. you are not alone. the way you feel is how i felt. it takes time and you are correct in saying that you being happy is what matters. keep your head up, don’t let anyone bring you down.
Jenime
October 26, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Yeah Kim! That’s amazing progress. I’m psyched you found a way around the system. Keep at it girl, don’t let anyone hold you back.
kim
October 26, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Things in my life have gotten a little better. I’ve admited to few people that I know are trustworthly that I am a lesbian saying it out loud is really helpful. I’ve said to my husband that I am bisexual before I dunno why it just felt easier than saying I am a lesbian. When we got married we both knew it wasn’t for a romantic love that it was for the baby I was going to have. We do love each other as friends but, thats it. I will tell him in time. I just don’t know how much time. I want to be able to find a girl and have a romantic love that I’ve always dreamed of. I do miss that. I think my kids would be happier if I was happier. But, for now I am dealing the best I can. I can’t afford to go to a psychologist right now but, I can talk to the college counselor which I have a meeting set up for next week. I don’t know if this will help but, I hope that it will. Thanks again -Kim
Kim
October 20, 2008 at 6:05 pm
I do really thank you for the advice. I’m not sure Jenime my doctor would understand. And to see a psychologist that cost money. Money I don’t have right now. I really would if i could. And maybe when I’m done with school if I can make through until then I will have to money.
Kim
October 20, 2008 at 6:03 pm
If anybody wants to e-mail me they can its someonesomewhere1@live.com
Thanks to everyone who has posted back to me.
Jenime
October 20, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Well Kim first step is the hardest, and nobody likes this recommendation: see a doctor. The pain you’re in seems very real to me, and on the verge of getting out of control. I’ve been there, and still visit often. See a doctor, see a psychologist, and they more than anyone can set you on the path to getting things on the right course. I don’t know how many governments I would’ve overthrown by now if I hadn’t sought help.
Kim
October 20, 2008 at 5:23 pm
No, i don’t know of any. And I don’t work I am a full time college student. My husband makes all the money. So for me to drive to a city would be too far and cost to much for me to not be able to explain. *sigh*
Brittany Marie
October 20, 2008 at 10:54 am
Kim,
Aren’t there any places around you that can be helpful in these situations? Family centers? Gay and lesbian centers? you might need to travel to the nearest city. You need a friend…telling someone close to you really helps put things in perspective. You are in a really hard place and my heart breaks to hear how stuck you feel.
Kim (anonymous)
October 19, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Sorry to bother everyone with my problems I just didn’t know where else to go. Today was hell. I ran into my exg/f and Its so hard to see her. She is bisexual and she is HAPPY and married to a man. I put on a smile and tell her I am happy to. We set up a play date for our kids to play. and we hug good bye. Life is hell. I don’t know where to go from here without losing my kids. Will I spend the rest of my life in a lie? In hell because I made a mistake. I did this myself right? at least thats what so many people keep saying. I said I do and I didn’t have to. Maybe they are right maybe I deserve to live like this because I wasn’t honest. Because I knowly married a man knowing I was gay and couldn’t love him the way he loved me.
Anonymous
October 19, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Dear Jenime. I’m still really confused. I’ve got so much different advise like I should stay for the kids it’d be wrong to leave there dad, but is right for me to stay if its all a lie? I’m scared and a lone. Things were ok for a little while but, I’m back to being sad again. I have my days. I lay in bed and cry at night and I really just want to wake him up and tell him the truth but, i don’t. If it took my kids I couldn’t live.
Anonymous
October 17, 2008 at 5:44 pm
I was just in a production of The Laramie Project. Having researched for the play (not just the script, but every newspaper article and interview since), I discovered that Henderson and McKinnley, after they beat up Matthew, went out same night and attacked some Hispanics (which is how McKinnley ended up in the same hospital that Matthew was in before they transferred him to a better equipped place…) I know that homophobia kills, but in this case it is soooo blurry. Did they attack him because he was gay? Probably. But that wasn’t their only agenda. They were found in part also because of the second attack on the Hispanic guys, who id’s the gun used… and who did the damage that sent McKinnley to the e.r.
The day after our play closed, the headline in the Minneapolis Star Tribune was about a developmentally disabled man, age 24, who was beaten by 4 men ages 19-34, burned with cigarettes, tied to a tree and left in the Minnesota woods to die.
He gained consciousness, walked to a road, got help and they arrested the 4. the cops involved said it was the most savage beating they’d seen in 30 years. It was over a rumor (turns out false) that the disabled guy had flirted with a 16 year old girl. This case for me was almost a mirror image of the Matthew Shepherd case, and yet there was one headline in the paper, and now it’s dropped off the radar. I wonder if he’d been gay or a racial minority or a woman if the media would have frenzied.
I am gay and live in some fear of gay bashing… but I also believe that ignorance and hate go hand in hand, and isn’t reserved just for us…
Jenime
October 13, 2008 at 10:38 pm
hey Anonymous,
I’m glad at the very least that you’ve gotten to talk to us at least. It must have taken a bit of courage. That could be the first step to everything getting better, right? I don’t know where (like what state) you’re stuck at, so I can’t give really exact advice. But you’ve got the hardest part done with, you can see clearly what needs to happen, right?
Anonymous
October 13, 2008 at 5:11 pm
My best friend in high school was gay. He got beat up even by his best friend when he told him. His parents kicked him out at the age of 17 and wouldn’t even let him see his lil sister because they were afraid “his gayness would rub off on her” and make her that way.
Anonymous
October 13, 2008 at 5:07 pm
I tried to kill myself more than once. I told my parents it was because I was depressed about there divorce but, it was because I was gay. I’ve known I was sense the age of 5. I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn’t make myself like boys. I prayed until I made myself sick, I tried suicide a lot and it never worked. I guess I wasn’t even strong enough to do that. Still to this day at age 25 nobody knows in my life. My g/f I had in 8th grade – 12th grade left me after graduation because she wanted more then a secret relationship and I was so scared I couldn’t give her that. After she left me the next day I went to a party and I got drunk I ended up pregnant. Now I’m married with 3 kids and in a mess I’m not sure how to get out of. My husband is really homophobic. He doesn’t think gay people should be aloud kids. I’m scared he’ll take mine away and they are my world. So I’m stuck in a lie that if people would have been open and not so cruel as a teenager I would have never gotten into this. I’m glad I have my kids, I just wish i could raise them with my girl. My husband really isn’t a bad person I love him just in a differant way then I should. His mind just has been set by the small town we live in, I wish so much I could just be me.
Sei
October 13, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Both Obama and Biden have stated that they oppose same sex marriages personally, but do not believe that they should be banned as a matter of policy. Biden has even stated he believes that marriage equality is inevitable.
Andrew
October 13, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Michael they probably choose to win instead of losing, so they changed their statements. It’s not their fault but 61 % population in America don’t agree on supporting gay and lesbian marriage.
Michael
October 13, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Well what do you expect? The man we nominated to lead our party doesn’t even recognize marriages that are legally taking place in two of our states!!
When asked about gay marriage, Obama and Biden constantly reiterate that they both believe marriage is between a man and a woman. How can we expect any real change or hope when we support folks who don’t support us?
It is time for the queers to abandon this party since they have abandoned us years ago, if they were ever truly on our side in the first place.
Jules Joyce
October 12, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Powerful article, Jenime! A chilling call to action!