What makes a perfect Lesbian Car?
For many of us what we drive defines who we are. For those people, their ride is a status symbol.
I have a friend who will tell any who are interested, her BMW 6 Series Convertible is the perfect lesbian ride,
because is has both muscle and glamour. On most days when the temperature here on the Outer Banks of North Carolina is above 65 degrees you will see her cruising down The Beach Road, top down, in her ball cap and sports bra, and stereo cranking for all to hear.
For others our cars are simply a means of getting from point A to point B without having to take the Greyhound and I have another friend who owns a very simple and beat up 1998 Ford 150, basically because it can haul her and her shit around.
I have other friends who swear by their Subaru Foresters and Outbacks, and it seems so many lesbians drive these that Suburus are, on occasion, referred to as “Lesbarus”.
But what you drive really does say a lot about your outlook on life and aside from buying a home, buying a car is one the most expensive purchases we can make.
For lesbians buying a new car, there are a few things to consider.
We need a reliable vehicle, one that meets our driving and cargo needs. And, let’s face it; whether we’re a lipstick femme or big burly butch we need a car that matches our personality and style.
My first Dyke Wagon was a 1986 Jeep CJ-7 that my grandfather had bought new in 1986 so he to go surf fishing and I loved that jeep so much, he gave it to me for my high school graduation in 1992.
That Jeep most certainly said a lot about me.
When I was about 10 years old I got a die cast pink Smurf Jeep for a Christmas present and being the tomboy and baby-dyke I was, I loved that toy jeep. So before my grandfather gave the CJ to me he had his CJ painted pink to match my Smurf Jeep. I drove that pink Jeep all though college and long after, to the degree that my grandfather had to twice replace the engine in it because I was so loyal to my little “ Smurfette” and did not want to drive anything else.
I only gave up on my Jeep when it met its final demise after a concrete truck backed over it in a Wal-Mart parking lot, totaling my poor “Smurfette” beyond even my granddad’s ability to repair it. (but that is an article all in it’s self)
I now drive a 2006 Chevy Avalanche, a vehicle that Cartalk .Com calls the perfect lesbian ride…
For lesbians, it’s easy….
Hands’ down, it’s the new Chevrolet Avalanche.
This thing looks like a movie prop from a post-apocalyptic Mad Max movie. There are NO men, gay or straight, butch enough to drive one of these.”
I am the mother of twins, who happens to be a surfer. I am also owned by a dog that refuses to even discuss being left at home. Plus I am the owner of vacation home rental business and need to haul all kinds of minutia, so I have found my Avalanche to be just about the perfect Lesbian Surf Mom vehicle.
It has plenty of interior space to haul all you have to haul when you are road tripping with twin toddlers and a pushy dog, plus it has good cargo space for all of the Home-Depot runs required by my rental business. All the while it features excellent four-wheel drive and good ground clearance so I can drive to my favorite remote surf spots (or roll over the top of pokey elderly tourists) and a very nice roof rack that I can fasten my surf boards to. And yes when I bought my Avalanche, I must admit I felt certain amount of “Mad Max” attraction to it and was very disappointed when my partner Debbie would not let me get the optional machine guns and flamethrower.
Now my present ride says this about me…
Hey here comes that gay surf mom, with her attitude and her kids in that tank of an Avalanche…. better let her through or she will wheel right the fuck right over you.”
Now on the downside I will confess that my Avalanche has a fuel economy of about .08 miles to the gallon that can be more then tough on a pocket book when feeding my ride. My Avalanche is also I fear, one of the primary reasons this country invaded Iraq.
Also when I’m up in the Virginia Beach/ Norfolk area, with all of its U.S. Navy jet traffic, I’m admittedly afraid that one day some Navy pilot will mistake my Avalanche for an aircraft carrier and try to land on me.
Hey, but everything has its trade offs.
Ok, now I want to hear from you… what is your favorite lesbian ride? And why?
Paula Brooks lives in the Outer Banks of North Carolina with her partner, their twin daughters and her hearing helper dog, where they own and operate a vacation home rental business. You can visit her Blogger profile here.
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I’d put my money on the Prius! If I had my pick though? Probably like a convertible corvette. Something sexy, because I don’t drive, I just look good while riding. ^_^
Saturn Vue Hybrid!
Love my Prius!
It’s all about location!! Seattle area – we’re talking Prius, Scion, Fit – anything tiny and good gas mileage. You have to show that you care about the environment around here.
I live outside of the Seattle area, and my favorite is a Toyota Tundra 4×4 Crew Cab with a tonneau cover (it’s rainy ’round here). In these rural parts, the Avalanche says “I have too much money but I’m trying to be rugged” but regular 4×4 truck says “yes, I’m a dyke – you gotta problem with that??” (Although I do LOVE the way the Avalanche looks!!)
I always felt the Subaru Forrester is the perfect Lesbian car. Its rugged, practical & a lot more reliable than a SATURN.
Rachel P,
Trust me… with the price of gas… when you own an Avalanche having too much money IS NOT going to be your problem.
Now my partner Debs owns a Ford Ranger 4 x 4 and the way she has is set up it is pretty dykey.
I know that this is a total stereotype but so far every lesbian couple that I have been friends with, at least one of them owns a truck.
Yellow and white mini cooper. It replaced my 4X4 truck.
If your friend with the BMW convertible wants to take a spin to Ireland I’d be happy to test her theory on it being the perfect lesbian ride…BMW’s can drive on water now…right?They cost enough…I’m sure they can.
I used to – a GMC Serria 2500
I loved that truck
but I didn’t love the many dates with it at gas station
so, the Saturn VUE SUV is my darlin now
enough pick up and cargo space, room for 5 peeps
can haul what I need from Home Depot
and fun to drive like a PT Cruiser
Julie,
I don’t know about her BMW being able to drive on water, but just between you and me… she thinks she can walk on it because she owns this car.
We own a Forrester, and I have never had a better car, mechanically and gas-wise. My S.O calls BMW a bummer, and she should know after driving a cab for 21 years!
I was almost 16 (you can drive at 15 ½ in SF) and my first Dyke Ride was a ‘68 Dodge Dart. White with a Black top. I took the D off the side and called him Art the Dart. I could fit 9 screaming girls in that “living room ride”. Then Wayne Wong ran a red on Van Ness and turned Art into a pile of wreckage. That was the first time I thought I might me gay, cause when he got out of his car I nailed him with a right hook to his jaw and sent him to the ground. I was pissed.
Then I started buying Vdubs – the uglier the better- I had one that looked like a piece of skylab. We flashed several stooopid sleezy boys from the car, while yelling “be butch”.
We ended up torching her south of Market to collect the insurance money. Some hells angels who lived on my street (Pink and Pearl) we edited the sign to say Punk.. helped me
.
Ah the good old days, and life seems so tame now. I still drive a VW cherry red totally tricked out and I dunno if it’s a Dyke-Ride as much as my fave ride ever. Lisa/so drives a mini cooper s and we car debate all the time.
She found a site that scores the fun factor and carbon footprint of various makes and models and she has sworn victory over me. http://www.carfunfootprint.com I remind her it’s part of the min-site so ahem … might be a lil bent toward their brand but she stills waves the V at me and laughs.
Oh and if I weren’t an inner city girl and had to slip in and out of parking easily I would drive a monster Escalade and tailgate like a mad woman.
Peace
Kelly
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