i too live in ca, born and raised. in the months of march thru may i was in tennessee for work, let me tell you, for the first time i realized what discrimination was. i don’t know if it was about my sexuality or my race but i get the “california” statement you made.

to the girl that commented from OK, keep your love strong and continue being who you are, it’s people like you that make changes around them.

This sentence is meant to point out that I am normal, and I am not straight, therefore lesbians can be normal.

“What have you done to ensure the American Lesbian and Gay community enjoys the same rights and privlidges?”

I am trying to do my part by speaking out against the injustices in the world, particularly towards the LGBT community and against lesbophobia.

“Be wary of letting your clear heterophobia influence the motives you think people have.”

I love heteros. Some of my closest friends are hetero. HAHA. All kidding aside, in this article I am not talking about looks that stem from competition and attraction – I am talking about the ones that stem from hatred.

“Do we need change? Certainly, as mentioned above, prop 8 is a clear example of the problems we face. But it must be through positive interaction with heteros, like rubyred above state, not through diatribes or self-alienation.”

Is it considered self-alienation when you are hiding in a closet because you are afraid for your life, or possibly being raped? That’s what lesbians in alot of other countries have to go through. Lesbians in Iraq are being murdered, and even in South Africa where there are ‘equal rights’, lesbophobia still runs free.

“Finally, stating that CA is the only open-minded place in the US is incredibly close-minded. … Be careful with your words”

My comment said California is ONE of the states.

Please remain aware of lesbophobia, many women around the world live in fear of it every day.

Secondly, to play the devil’s advocate, sure you probably get eyeballed when with your gf on the street. And yes, some of this is probably homophobia, but I’d bet that most of it is the same eyeballing that women receive generally – from other women as competitors and from men as attraction. Be wary of letting your clear heterophobia influence the motives you think people have.

Do we need change? Certainly, as mentioned above, prop 8 is a clear example of the problems we face. But it must be through positive interaction with heteros, like rubyred above state, not through diatribes or self-alienation.

Finally, stating that CA is the only open-minded place in the US is incredibly close-minded. After all, its Massachusetts that has more equal rights than CA, and Minneapolis-St. Paul has more GBLT-friendly social services per-capita than CA. Be careful with your words.

Hmmm would never have considered the US as an open-minded run free country… no legalized Les or Gay marriage on the federal level, only a few states that recognize Les/Gay marriage and the US Immigration Act lists Lesbians and Gays as “undesirable aliens” subject to being denied addmission at any border crossing – land, sea and air…

” I live my life like a normal woman even though I’m not straight”…

Now this comment could lead someone to think that only straight women are normal… mayhap you are not as out, open and accepting of your choice in life as you like to think you are?

I live in Canada, one of the few countries in the world that enshrines the rights of Lesbians and Gays in its Human Rights Code and has legalized AND recognized Les/Gay marriage… which means if you have married in another jurisdiction or country the marriage is recognized, with all the same rights and privlidges as hetrosexual marriage… A long, HARD fought battle over more than two decades to gain those rights I might add.

What have you done to ensure the American Lesbian and Gay community enjoys the same rights and privlidges?

The place you describe sounds like a fairytale fantasy land! You are so right about the so-called freedom we have here. Your country sounds like beauty, true happiness to love your partner without fear.

In our country, California is one of the only states where people are open minded enough to accept gays and lesbians, and still we are fighting for our right to not be treated as ‘seperate but equal’. Other countries such as Canada and your country are far more advanced when it comes to these rights.

Thank you for being vocal about this topic because that’s exactly what we need. This is not a problem that the US faces alone, and women are murdered every day world wide for being lesbian.

I hope that we can make a difference with this blog and through sharing our stories with each other. You should become a contributor on this blog, and that way you can share more stories with us about what it’s like to be a lesbian where you are from.

Thanks for the great comment!

And this is where I started crying. I am glad you are fortunate, but I am not. My amazing girlfriend and I don’t live somewhere like California. I realize in Cali you are still fighting for your rights, but you should all find solace in the fact that you are WAY ahead of everyone else in America. I live right smack in the middle of the “Bible Belt”. Good old Oklahoma. Everyday we fight for our right to be together. She is terrified to come out to her peers because about 7 years ago a gay teen was killed by his friends in the small town where she goes to school. Few of them know about us. I am a few years older than her and when I went to a high school in a neighboring city, just slightly larger than her hometown, I was ridiculed, had few friends, was even threatened with rape. There is no help for us here. None worth our time and effort. Slowly and painfully we are learning to stand up and be who we are in the public eye. I know we are young, being 18 and 23, but our love is very innocent and very healing. The way we grew up made us grow up very fast. I have been in the Army for six years. I fought for the war in Iraq and now I am fighting a war in my own country. A secret, harsh, very damaging war. Everyday we have risen above what we were taught. The home we have made together is the first sanctuary either of us have ever had. We work hard and thankfully have a wonderful support system made up of friends and family though we lost many along the way. It’s not enough. Because as soon as we walk out our front door we step into a devastating, hidden war zone. Keep fighting Cali! Maybe your work will someday spread out across America.

And that would be where I turned off completely. Lesbophobia is bullsh*t. Homophobia and sexism are perfectly adequate phrases. If America is so open-minded and free then nobody would be killed for being lesbian, gay or trans. Your country is not free, your citizens are not free, you’ve just bought into the notion that you are.

I’m an out lesbian, in a committed relationship, in a country where I am free to express that. I can marry her, I have pension and inheritance rights, I’m her next-of-kin for medical purposes (and she is mine). We have employment rights that mean we can’t be fired for being lesbian, and here in my country men and women earn equal pay for equal work.

What’s more I can walk down the street holding her hand and not get a second look. We book into hotels as a couple, I kiss her goodbye on the doorstep as she goes to work, I buy birthday/Christmas cards with ‘To my Girlfriend’ on them, and two happy little female animals. Again, not a look. My parents can buy “To my Daughter and her Girlfriend” cards in any greetings card shop, or talk openly about me and my beloved.

That’s freedom. That’s being able to live my life loving who I choose. You, on the other hand, live in a sexist, racist, disgusting dystopia where ‘freedom’ only extends to the white upper classes. Don’t be fooled. Prop 8 alone should remind you that you’re not free. In my country you can be jailed for inciting hatred toward racial, sexual or religious minorities. Prop 8 itself would be illegal.

Wake up. Fight back. Stop believing the American lie.