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Lez Ask the Femme: Go For It

Posted by: Natasia Rose on February 17, 2010.

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Hey Lezzies, Welcome back to “Ask A Femme.” I’m Natasia and I will be dishing out advice on love, dating, relationships, friendship, career, family and fashion issues. Are your friends tired of trying to come up with the solutions to your problems? Are your friends the problem? Did your mom surprise you with a date with the nice guy at her office? I’m here to help!

Dear Femme,

Well, I’m bi but pretty much have given up on men. I’m looking for a good woman that wants what I have to offer and who isn’t going to hurt me like most women do! I’m so sick and tired of being hurt, I don’t deserve it! I’m a good woman, I truly am! You give advice so please give me some.

-Giving Up

Hello GU,

Don’t give up! I’m sure you are a good woman and you deserve someone who will love and respect you, whether that person be male or female. I would never tell someone to ‘give up’ on one sex, however, from reading between the lines of your letter, I get the sense that you want to explore your options with women more then men at this point in your life. So do it! First, you have to change your attitude. Don’t assume that all women out there are going to hurt you.

No one can avoid being hurt, but I want to share with you some tips that might help minimize the risk.

1) Be Selective- Choose dates with women who have positive qualities. Does she seem honest and open? Is she a great mom or caring with animals? Does she blame others for all her problems or does she take responsibility for her situation? Also, nix anyone who talks about how badly their ex treated them on the first date. That’s a huge warning sign that she may be bitter and bitter people can’t be in a healthy relationship until they deal with their own issues.

2) Trust your gut instinct. If you are on a first or second date and you get a bad feeling about the person you are with, trust yourself. End the date and find someone new.

Good luck GU and let me know how everything works out!

Dear Femme,

Is it possible for a married woman who has never been with another woman to all of a sudden want to be with a woman?

Help!

Dear Help!,

YES! I don’t know which party you are in this mess, and it is a messy situation, but this is possible. Due to the taboo of being gay, many women are coming out later in life or after they have already married a man. Because of increasing gay visibility and acceptance, women who may have never let themselves understand their attraction towards other women are starting self realize. If you like, send me a follow up question with more details!

Have a question for me? Email askafemme@yahoo.com