Part Three Binational Stories: Lesbian Spouse 102 days in ICE Detention

 by Melanie Nathan, February 05, 2010:   Part 3 :   UAFA or 1,666 years of Binational Stories”

Here is a letter which was sent to President Obama, with the emotive reflections of a foreign born spouse.  Although each story has a unique fingerprint, this  isdifferent from the very many stories we hear, as this letter reflects the abhorent and unconscienable detention of the writer by the American authorities.

Dear President Obama,                       (January 3, 2010)

Preaching in the 60s, when the US was racked with racism and the horrors of the Vietnam War, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. inspired the American people to pursue justice, the truth and simply to do the right thing, because “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy”. 

So, where do the American people stand at this point in time of challenge and controversy, although almost 50 years later? Does America, the “land of the free and home of the brave” hold up to George Washington’s expectation of “Let us raise a standard to which the wise and honest can repair”? As I look through my wife’s passport, I find comfort in words of wisdom by the 34^th President of the United States Dwight D. Eisenhower: “Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world must first come to pass in the heart of America.”

It was in 1963 when Dr. King delivered his speech “I Have a Dream” in Washington. Dr. Martin Luther King had a dream, a dream to end racial segregation and racial discrimination; in 2009 as a result this country elected its first African-American President Barack Hussein Obama. In 1967 the Supreme Court declared interracial marriage fully legal in all U.S. States. Since then many more subjects on human rights issues have been addressed and corrected by congress. Just a few months ago President Obama signed hate crimes bill into law as a step toward change to “help protect our citizens from violence based on what they look like, who they love, how they pray”, (CNN Politics article, Oct. 28, 2009). So, could one finally say that all men are not only created equal but surely treated equal as well? Can America stand up to the world and with integrity proclaim that “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” – an excerpt from the Declaration of Independence written on pages 10-11 of the American passport.

I look at my wife’s American passport with its beautiful design, I read those profound words, wise words by wise men and I wonder why those words don’t reflect our reality!                                                                                                                       

Is it because our life is out of the ordinary range of the usual set of circumstances?  Is it simply because our life differs from the typical portrayal of a married couple? We are committed to each other, we know each other for more than 11 years, we love each other, we live together, we built a life together, we are married and we actually would have a happy life if it wasn’t for the remaining failure of the U.S. Government to ensure the pursuit of happiness for all U.S. citizens; this nation still neglects the basic human rights of their homosexual fellow citizens treating them as “second-class”, just a minority…  

“All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression.” – Thomas Jefferson  

 This nation must make significant changes to ensure equal rights for gays and lesbians. Although President Obama has urged Congress to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, the States of New York and New Jersey recently refused the recognition of same-sex marriages. The subject matter becomes even more profound when dealing with immigration issues, as my wife and I do. I am a 47-year-old highly educated woman from Europe. For over 11 years I stayed in the US “out of status”, constantly living on the edge of being terrified of discovery and deportation. One could say fear was my constant companion. It was no fairy tale life or even in any way close to living the American dream, but as Albert Einstein simply puts it, “In the middle of difficulty lays opportunity”.

Most bi-national heterosexual couples living in the U.S. have no problem staying together; the American citizen can sponsor their foreign spouse in obtaining a green card including work authorization. The foreign-born spouse can easily pursue and further her/his professional career. Bi-national homosexual couples are denied those rights. I depended on my wife/life partner for support since I had no work authorization. Often I felt deprived of the right to contribute to society as well as my own household, simply put: a waste of time, a waste of talent, and a waste of life! In all those 11 years, my wife and I were “prisoners” of a political system that seems antiquated, out-dated and rather forces people into committing fraud. Many commit marriage fraud as a means to an end in exchange for a green card, but I never considered this to be an option, because for me marriage is too sacred to be dishonest about.

On March 18, 2009 our life took a tragic turn. As feared for so many years, I was finally picked-up at a Greyhound bus station as a result of a raid by border patrol and taken into custody by ICE (Immigration Customs Enforcement). I was detained for 102 days in a facility for ‘illegal aliens.’  I don’t think that any one of us, meaning my American spouse, our American friends and family members knew detention centers for immigrants existed. I was treated as a criminal, although with no criminal record at all. I was even told by officers in this facility that we all were criminals and deserve to be treated as such.

During my time in detention, we exhausted our financial resources for lawyer fees, travel expenses from my home to my out of State place of detention, phone cards and commissary goods, etc. A detainee is allowed a budget of $40 on phone cards per week which equals 140 minutes in talk time with your loved ones, or in other words a 20 minutes phone conversation per day. There were eight phones for over 100 female detainees. Well, the phone conversation with your family is your lifeline, and the only way to communicate with the outside world other than writing a letter. After an intake process, the detainee is provided with one set of sheets, one towel, one sweatshirt, two t-shirts, two pants and one pair of shoes. Everything else must be purchased with commissary such as shampoo, soap, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste etc., etc.

Visitation is only on Sundays for four hours; no detainee is allowed more than two visitors at a time unless the warden grants request.

Medical service is almost non-existent. Once I was very sick, I had high fever, sore throat, and sinus infection, earache and yeast infection all at once. Before being able to be seen by a nurse, I had to file a request. I was told it would take up to 48 hours to get a response. When I finally received medical care I had to choose between the two symptoms for which only one could be treated and given medication; for the second I had to file a new request and wait another 48 hours. On several occasions I have witnessed neglect of medical care of detainees in need of medication, not to mention dental care, which was completely non-existent. One detainee was advised to use common glue to repair a broken crown; waiting time to see a dentist was up to three months. Officers failed to provide underwear, sanitary napkins as well as toilet paper. Often I couldn’t comprehend still being in the United States of America, especially when witnessing detainees in handcuffs and shackles, reversed racism and the abuse of power.

Deprived of one’s dignity when for example announced over loud speakers to line up for the “feedings” as the officers called our breakfast, lunch and dinner, detention certainly took its toll on me. As I became severely depressed, my Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder (PTSD), I suffered as a result from years of trauma in Europe worsened. With no psychological help in sight one can only try to survive holding on to faith. A typical night as a detainee consists of waking up to a flashlight shoved in our faces every two hours by an officer along with the clinking sound of their keys made sleep impossible. I could list a dozen or more such infractions I suffered while detained, but it has taken me seven months to gather the strength to write even these details. Suffice to say, detention of immigrants who have not committed a crime is completely dehumanizing; such standards simply display and validate the civil and human rights crisis in the U.S. The current immigration system “perpetuates inequalities contrary to a free and democratic society” (NYCLU).

On June 26, 2009 I was finally released with the assistance of my spouse’s congressman, and it is this extraordinary act of compassion and courage that makes me love this country even more, despite all odds and the pain of being detained. It is with this extraordinary act of compassion for his constituent that made our reunion possible, a living testimony for the principle of the Declaration of Independence (1776), the unalienable Right to the pursuit of Happiness. For some U.S. citizens their rights to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness means changing laws becomes a demand, to ensure homosexual bi-national couples receive the same fair treatment than their fellow heterosexual citizens, after all they are all your constituents. Comprehensive Immigration Reform must include UAFA – Uniting American Families Act!

“Despite the progress we’ve made, there are still laws to change and hearts to open,” President Obama said during his address at the dinner for the Human Rights Campaign in October of 2009. “This fight continues now, and I’m here with the simple message: I’m here with you in that fight.”

Are you, President Obama?

 “If there is no struggle there is no progress…. This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both.”       – Frederick Douglass

 Sincerely,

Although the writer was released from detention – her battle has only just began as she and her spouse struggle desperately to remain in the United States.  Her Spouse cannot leave the USA for many reasons of extreme hardship and this couple simply cannot be separated.  Financial issues persist for them as they try to pursue this case with attorneys. How can any American or politician read this case without shame?

 UPDATE; OUT OF THIS – Piece a Petition is born - The overwhelming response on my personal e-mail to this post has given me faith in the fight.  So I have taken a vision of mine, which many may think silly and naive,  and once again in defiance of  protocol, in defiance of all that (those who know better say) is possible, in defiance of the experienced, and veering off the beaten track…… here is my hopeful interim remedial solution to the crime against binational Americans and their partners/spouses/children.  PLEASE PARTICIPATE AND SIGN THIS experiment in grassroot power……   Lets take back the fight!!   Lets wake every American conscience to the Binational Plight.  We need 36,000 signatures.     

CLICK HERE -  http://www.change.org/actions/view/special_visa_for_binational_lgbt_spouse-perma-partners

by Melanie Nathan,
www.privatecourts.com /
nathan@privatecourts.com
follow me on twitter @oblogdeeoblogda

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