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Lez Ask the Femme: Connections and Defections

Posted by: Natasia Rose on April 6, 2010.

: Image by Crushed Planet via Flickr

Hey Lezzies, Welcome back to “Ask A Femme.” I’m Natasia and I will be dishing out advice on love, dating, relationships, friendship, career, family and fashion issues. Are your friends tired of trying to come up with the solutions to your problems? Are your friends the problem? Did your mom surprise you with a date with the nice guy at her office? I’m here to help!

Hi Femme,
This question really makes me sound like a middle school girl but I am going to ask anyway.
I am a 25 year old bisexual who mostly dated men in the past. Couple of days ago I met an amazing, artsy, classy woman – bless craigslist! We went out once, however I don’t know how to proceed. She is a lesbian about 10 years older. We are both femmes. Should I call or
should I wait? What is the convention here? Thanks in advance.

So New

SN,

I’m so glad you wrote in, this is a great question. In the straight world, the man generally waits three days and calls the woman if he’s still interested. However, LBQ protocol is different. Women tend to be shyer than men, women new to the scene, such as yourself are hesitant to take on the role of the initiator and women who are more seasoned might be shy after having bad experiences. I’ll let you know what I think. I think women should call each other! Who cares if she hasn’t called you? Call her and let her know you like her. It’s so hard to find someone you have a connection with in this world and that goes for gay and straight people. When I was still on the market, I generally texted a girl after a date to say “thank you.” If the time for that has passed, give her a call, tell her you like her and would really want to see her again. If you are worried too much time has passed since you went out, just let her know you were too nervous to call her sooner because you think she’s so amazing. Girls love that stuff. Good luck and let us know if you get the girl!

Hi,
I have a problem. I met this women and she wanted a friends with benefits type of relationship. I agreed to it and thought I could handle it. I fell more for her than she did for me. She was sarcastic with me and kept telling it wouldn’t last long and that she wasn’t really into me. But when we had sex she was very affectionate. But she couldn’t get aroused or have an orgasm. This is when I knew she wasn’t really into me. I was aroused by her. We agreed to remain friends.

Have A Problem

HAP,

I have to tell you, I don’t think this woman wants a relationship with you. You deserve better than someone who is mean and sarcastic with you. I would say not to even be friends with her, cut ties and find someone who can appreciate you for who you are and who will be sexually compatible with you. Good luck and let us know when you find love!

Have a question for me? Email askafemme@yahoo.com