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SCREAM: President Obama Act Now for Binational Same Sex Couples

Posted by: Lez Get Real on July 20, 2010.

Melanie Nathan  7-20-10

When it come to immigration reform,  the people who count first on this topic, to my way of thinking, are those who under current law are not treated equally, yet President Obama has seemingly provided the visual for the year long covert alliance-making between the various religious groups and the Administration, some Politicians/ Senators such as  Chuck Schumer,  Congress Flip-Flop Gutierrez, which reflects a myriad of alliances, which in my estimation points to an attack, not only on the LGBT quest for equality, under current immigration law, but also on our factual existence as couples with a right to happily call our American Country, home!

“Normally on the opposite side of political issues backed by the Obama White House, leaders are aligning with the President to support an overhaul that would include some path to legalization for illegal immigrants already here. They are preaching from pulpits, conducting conference calls with pastors and testifying in Washington — as they did last Wednesday,” reports Laurie Goodstein for the New York Times.

Noticeably at the end of the New York Times Piece is a little reference to the BIG caveat

“But Mr. Blackwell  said  although Evangelicals will board the boat for  Comprehensive Immigration reform the whole effort could implode if the final legislation extended family reunification  provisions to same-sex couples where one spouse did not have legal status. For evangelicals, he said, “That would be a deal-breaker.” (hidden in the crevice of a final statement to the entire article.) Translated by Me as follows:  ” WE THE RELIGIOUS – Who proclaim G-d our exclusive ally, will be compassionate to the immigrants as long as they are not gays and lesbians.”

Gay Couples are separated from bi national loved ones, or who are forced  as Americans by Americans into exile!  But who cares- Jerold Nadler does! But who else and if you do Where the heck are you?’

This is for you President Obama- our own LGBT activists have messed us up in the most scary fashion. Why should we bi national  couples become the pawns and tools of people’s mistakes and political careers.

religious leaders – Compassion be damned!  Gay Rights Advocacy Groups – Where are our rights under current law?  Did any of you truly believe that we would be anything but scapegoats or political pawns under comprehensive Immigration reform? Feigned victories by our gay and lesbian organizations, while so many dwell in hell.

Be not surprised – you were all warned. But instead you read the Advocate, Pam, Bilerco , Huffington Post and nod and say thanks and lick each other’s ego’s to the stale scent of lets ask no ” real questions.”

Others –  and you all know who you are have rarely done more than serve as parrot or space for the likes of Immigration Equality’s- (self professed as the Pre-eminent Immigration equality organization) life altering mistake and insincerity.  Pam’s Blend houses Steve Ralls, of Immigration Equality,  and she has never questioned his or IE’s strategy of shooting us in the heart and soul of UAFA as a stand alone, by trying to run after those who we know hate us. That group has spent your money making alliances with those who are stabbing us in the back as we speak!

Now as I continue to make enemies as I speak my heart -

This dearth of sanctified online high profile real estate and the writers that service it spew the strategy of Immigration Equality, without question or even understanding.

Banned from commenting on the truth at Immigration equality BLOG – and failure to silence me on Lezgetreal -  I am upping the ante.

This report from the New York Times endorsed my fear and validates my advice to Immigration Equality one year ago, NCLR since and other groups, NOT to endorse or follow the dangle of ‘Comprehensive Immigration Reform” carrot, but to rather keep the Uniting American Families ACT as a stand-alone Bill with EQUALITY the issues as opposed to jumping in on what was bound to be a huge immigration controversy immigration option for same-sex couples denied immigration parity under the Immigration and Naturalization Act.

But some evangelical leaders said their latest strategy was to push a handful of lame-duck Republicans to join Democrats — probably after the midterms — to pass an immigration bill on the ground that it is morally right.

Although other religious leaders have long favored immigration overhaul — including Roman Catholics, mainline Protestants, Jews and Muslims — the evangelicals are crucial because they have the relationships and the pull with Republicans.

“My message to Republican leaders,” said the Rev. Samuel Rodriguez, the president of the evangelical National Hispanic Christian Leadership Conference and one of the leaders who engaged his non-Hispanic peers, “is if you’re anti-immigration reform, you’re anti-Latino, and if you’re anti-Latino, you are anti-Christian church in America, and you are anti-evangelical.”

Evangelicals at the grass-roots level are divided on immigration, just as the nation is. But among the leaders, recent interviews suggest that those in favor of an immigration overhaul are far more vocal and more organized than those who oppose it, as long as the queers are out! Of course!

Their presence was a testament, in part, to the work of politically active Hispanic evangelical pastors, who have forged friendships with non-Hispanic pastors in recent years while working in coalitions to oppose abortion and same-sex marriage. The Hispanics made a concerted effort to convince their brethren that immigration reform should be a moral and practical priority.  Hispanic storefront churches are popping up in strip malls, and Spanish-speaking congregations are renting space in other churches. Some pastors, like Mr. Hybels, lead churches that include

Congress is unlikely to pass an immigration law this year. Republicans and Democrats who face re-election in November are skittish about the issue, given the broad public support for Arizona’s new law aiming to crack down on illegal immigration. Say the piece – I believe we would be lucky if it were to ever happen.

The Article insulting to say the least – as is every single piece that is written that fails to acknowledge the importance of our LGBT bi-national plight.

More of the NY Times Piece – “These cross-cutting clusters are just splinter groups, so far,” said Larry J. Sabato, director of the Center for Politics at the University of Virginia. “Support for the Arizona law is so strong within the G.O.P. that it will be difficult for the comprehensive-immigration-reform evangelicals to have much short-term impact.”

The support of evangelical leaders is not yet enough to change the mess of the mass. But they could mobilize a potentially large constituency of religious conservatives, an important part of the Republican base better known for lobbying against abortion and same-sex marriage. They already threaten the party’s near unity on immigration. “

So while they mobilize and align for support, we the LGBT community become the scapegoat, as I predicted in my Article in mid 2009, which I shall reference here again.   Again I cannot scream loud enough we need a movement not three career boost seekers making political moves for an huge politically marginalized  group such as the bi-national gay and lesbian community.

All hope that is there is gone unless we get an , a special visa, repeal of DOMA, UAFA as a stand-alone – or an Amendment to the Civil Rights Act.   But alas I fear these mere benchmarks fail to serve the immediate needs of those living the hellish life of a gay or lesbian bi-national.

So all I can think of is an Executive order –

Dear President Obama:

I am so angry and I cannot express it without a SCREAM such as the one above! I am so tired, so tired. I ask one question of you Mr. President.  How can you continue to condone the separation of LGBT families through inequality under the Immigration and Naturalization Act?

It is one thing that we cannot marry and I know you campaigned against Gay Marriage per se; but Sir,when you told us we deserved equality and we worked crazily for your election, and voted accordingly, was it you intention to keep Americans exiled from their own countries and from their partners, whom they would marry if the could?

Mr. President, Sir – please if all you do is make one executive order for us – let it be simply to allow gays and lesbians who are in permanent partnerships with some form of contractual nexus to be included in the current Immigration and Equality Act.

Please!

Sincerely,

Melanie Nathan and Signed tacitly : 36,000 suffering Americans.

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14 Responses to SCREAM: President Obama Act Now for Binational Same Sex Couples

  1. Tony Reply

    August 1, 2010 at 3:51 am

    I’m so happy to see Lezgetreal.com covering binational couples and their struggles. I wish other LGBT websites and magazines would do the same.

  2. Janice Reply

    July 26, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    Melanie,
    As the foreign half of a Bi-national couple, I agree with what you have to say wholeheartedly! Don’t worry about being brutal…..what you have said needs to be said. There is too much pussy-footing around, worrying about whose toes we may be treading on, and too much tugging our forelocks in gratitude to those who occasionally throw us a few words of support like scraps that we should be grateful for. I am sick of words……my partner and I want action now! Her rights as an American citizen are being denied her, and that isn’t good enough. As Jerrold Nadler has said, this is cruelty pure and simple to deny other human beings the right to be with the person they love. I will graduate from university next year with a Bachelor’s Degree in Computer Science, but I am not looking forward to it like others do. This is because without the offer of a job from an employer who is prepared to sponsor me for a H1B visa, then I will be forced to leave my love behind. It is unbearable to think about it, but it will be here all too quickly.
    I hope that soon we will celebrating the passing of UAFA so that we bi-national couples can finally rest without the threat of being wrenched apart. Unfortunately, I have less and less faith in this happening in the near future as time goes by. We are sad, we are angry, and we are sick with worry, but most of all we are tired of being pulled apart emotionally by those who only care about what this will do to them if they stick their necks out to help us.
    Thank you Melanie for your thoughts and having the guts to come out and share them.

  3. FAEN Reply

    July 21, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    Bottom line, the greater majority of the GLBT community does not know about us or the difficulties we face. Or worse, if they do know, they don’t care. Were a minority within a minority. I hear ‘youre too small to worry about now’ all the time. As Jennifer White stated earlier, we are very divided and nothing will happen until were absolutely united on ALL discrimination. Even groups like GetEqual, they protest DADT and ENDA but I have yet to hear them utter one word about the UAFA bill. I’ve e-mailed them about it, asked why and I hear nothing. Earlier this year I believe, Michaelangelo Signorille of OutQ on Sirius Radio was having a GLBT summit in DC with various other bloggers and orgs. Pam Spaulding of ‘Pam’s House Blend’(love her), was also there. I was one of the first callers since I wanted to ask the HRC and everyone else there about the UAFA and why no one was puching it. The response from the screener left me speechless. She didn’t know what this ‘uniting families bill’ was and didn’t I know we would be talking about GAY issues! When I replied that how can this NOT be a gay issue she simply said they weren’t talking about it and hung up. THIS is the place were in and I am out of idea’s on how to get out and more visible. When I hear the lack of understanding or empathy by the great GLBT community, it always sends me into a rage. They simply do not care about how hard our lives are and that is a disgrace.

    I hate living in fear of never seeing my partner again. I have such anxiety and frustration every day, I can’t sleep much, my mood for the most part is just down and defeated. Quite honestly, I feel like a bit of cow manure under someone’s shoe.

    This may be unpopular and I could be wrong(I hope I am), but I don’t think the UAFA bill has a chance until the CIR bill passes and at least a year goes by before it’s ammended to incluse binationals. Maybe I’m just too jaded but I don’t see the Dems sticking their necks out for us. I REALLY don’t see the GOP doing anything for us anytime soon so as ususal were stuck between a rock and and an impossible situation.

    Thank you Melanie for your SCREAM. We all scream with you!

  4. Anthony Reply

    July 21, 2010 at 6:52 am

    BRAVO MEL!!!!! I wake up every morning to exile in South Africa, and as I have told you before, I am grateful that South Africa recognizes my marriage and that my husband happened to be South African and that unlike othrs, we get to be together. However, our situation is far from wonderful here as you can imagine. Allowance is not acceptance and we live in fear! I echo everyone’s sentiments of utter frustration and am comepletely fed-up!!! I am tired of working for a govt in exile and still having to pay taxes out of my check twice a month directly to the US govt for the privlidge of being treated as a less than 2nd class citizen. Isn’t it funny that we are never good enough, but our money always is. It is hard to do anything of consiquence from South Africa, but I would gladly lend my support and efforts in any way I can going forward! This is our life and struggle I intend to be in it one way or the other no matter who does not like it going forward! Our time is now people! We MUST find a way to mkae this happen and stop worrying about people liking us! The time of apathy is over! The time for the true fight for freedom is on us!

  5. Andrew Caldwell Reply

    July 21, 2010 at 4:34 am

    Folks, we keep making the mistake of starting at the top (where Obama has already pledged to sign our bills) while ignoring the place where the bills have to get passed first–CONGRESS. If you want UAFA to get Obama’s signature, you have to get it through the HOUSE and SENATE first. Focus your time and energy and SCREAMING there first. To find out where your Senator or House member stands check out House: http://www.actonprinciples.org/uafa-house, Senate: http://www.actonprinciples.org/uafa-senate/ Obama cannot sign bills that don’t make it to his desk, and they won’t even make it to the floor UNTIL there’s a good likelihood of passage, meaning GETTING THE VOTES. That’s the heavy-lifting, and that’s up to US. You want to scream? Scream at Congress.

    • Melanie Nathan

      July 21, 2010 at 12:00 pm

      Andrew – Thanks for the instructive suggestion and yes you are right., BUT when it comes to UAFA – been tere done that! Once twice thrice and more. The point of the SCREAM is that Obama should issue an executive order for Binational Immigration for same sex couples . The article shows that we have got ourselves into a bind via bad moves by organizations that have failed to strategize to get the equality. Now we are told that Congress will not pass CIR for a while and while deals are being made, we may be excluded. SO my SCREAM is perfectly valid with regard to an Executive Order. Maybe you have not followed my writing and the build up to this.

  6. Lance Reply

    July 21, 2010 at 1:15 am

    Melanie: As with all of your articles, I read them word for word. I appreciate your anger in this one, because it’s what all of us in the referenced situation are feeling. It’s impossible not to. My story is no different than any other you’ve read, so I won’t bore you (or others). Just a quick “thank you” for all that you do for us. You must be a lovely person to fight so tirelessly for rights which don’t directly impact you at the moment. I really wish we could get every one of the 36,000 of us to call senators and reps. on the same day, and every day until we get what we want. 

  7. Jon Reply

    July 20, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    Melanie- THANK YOU!!

    I am a partner in a bi-national relationship and am sooo with you!  I am so fed up.  I sent a good friend of mine and email asking for help- he works for Schumer.  Did I get any help at all- no.  If I cant even get help from a friend (not like I was expecting anything) then who is going to help us?

    My partner who is here on a school visa from Croatia just found out his father has stage three prostate cancer.  My partner’s visa has expired and he is on an extension (he has two years left).  If he goes home to be with his father- he will not be able to come back.

    That means our five years together of struggling for DV Lotto’s and trying to pay International tuition on a single income in the SF Bay Area are over.

    He has to choose between staying here with the man he loves while his parents die in another country and he can not go home to be with his family.

    If that is not love- I do not know what is.  I am humbled by my partners dedication to us.  

    I pray that Obama reads your letter and has compassion for us.  Thats all I can do.  

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GOING OUT ON A LIMB!!

    Jon and Nedo

    • Melanie Nathan

      July 21, 2010 at 1:53 am

      We were in the same situation – my partner and I. We have two kids. One I shared custody with someone else. I would have had to make a sophies choice between my kids, but after tons of money and 4 years of hell, we got it figured out. That is when I resolved not to give up for others. I don’t care what people think of what I have to say to be quite honest. Lives are in the balance here. This is not a toy that you wind up! I will keep saying it as I see it. I wish some of those people who have screwed everyone up would have the courage to come on here and tell me I am wrong!!!

      More importantly I wish the President would do something. Anyone waiting for Comprehensive Immigration reform is complicit in this human rights infraction – one of untold cruelty – its a crime!

  8. James Reply

    July 20, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    My days are become more and more bitter because of the current political climate and disregard for bi national LGBT couples in this country.  I am lucky to be in the U.S. but it does not change the worry and hurt I have to go through EVERYDAY knowing that other people have the power to throw me out of the country and out of my partner’s reach when they see fit.  Things need to change quick.

  9. Jennifer White Reply

    July 20, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    Did you send that letter to him?? I don’t know if he or anyone close to him reads these blogs. Melanie I am so with you. I am tired of running after democrats only to constantly be sold out. They keep getting away with it because we are so divided. The estimate is that LGBT people make up 6% of the population if each of us has one friend or family member on our side that’s 12%, if we have two it doubles, and so on. The gay community has in my opinion matured, it is no longer about flamboyant parades, rebellion against social norms, etc. What I mean by that is we are not the same community of the 70′s and 80′s. We are families, we are mothers and fathers and neighbors and co-workers. Of course some people were then, but there has been a cultural shift, and now it is easier to get support from our communities external to LGBT, from civil rights organizations, even from churches. We need a strong social campaign to make that clear nationally. We need to use the media to make the average American see that we are really no different. We need to work harder to garner external support. You’ve seen the list of the groups that support UAFA, there are churches, community groups, even the NAACP. We need to speak louder the public. No, they shouldn’t vote on our rights, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t solicit their support either.

    This whole immigration thing is cooked up propaganda to begin with. The borders have been porous and there has been a population of undocumented people for decades. I believe that Jan Brewer, an unelected governor, and the GOP cooked this up and the 1070 bill to create a debate. They knew the Obama administration would challenge the bill because it is unconstitutional. So they made that play knowing he would have to challenge it so they can villainize immigrants as group the GOP needs to protect America from, and say that the Dems aren’t willing to protect America. Then Obama presents a bill that closely mirrors one Bush tried to pass but the GOP says “no, seal the borders first”. They know that geographically and fiscally sealing the borders is impossible. Meanwhile Brewer gets to make a name for herself, and all the racial bigots get to crawl out from under their rocks. Now Obama has to SOMETHING to save the Dem’s reputation, and yes, they are willing to throw us under the bus to do it. No politician is about the people anymore, they are for and about their parties. We should never have tagged onto this absurd mess of political drama and media hype. News headlines say “gays are suddenly added to the immigration issue” even though UAFA was sponsored in Congress in 2009.

    At this point I don’t know what we can do. Our community doesn’t know what to do because it is so divided and so we have so many small strategies in place for different rights and benefits. I think we need to hit the media hard like I said and go for public support. Not only are we different, society is different. Generations X and Y are adults now, and most people of the younger generations have a “live and let live” ideal. I also think we need to come together as a community, everyone come out of the closet that is still in one, merge all of our existing LGBT civil rights groups and organizations, and solicit help from any that will support us such as religious organizations, women’s rights groups, minority groups, etc. Because we are part of every community. This isn’t a gay issue, it’s a human rights issue. Women and people of color suffer double discrimination. All civil rights groups should be promoting all civil rights for everyone.

    As a side note, if you send that letter, you have minor editing that needs to be done in the second paragraph. Instead of “you intention” it should obviously be “your intention” and you left off the greatly significant question mark.

    Thank you for letting me rant with you, I want to scream too.

    • Melanie Nathan

      July 20, 2010 at 11:16 pm

      Wow its great to get such a supportive response. i am still waiting for hell to break loose on my brutality. But I have just about had all this Bul-lcrap. What are we the Pigs and Dogs that Mugabe apologized to for comparing to gays? That is how i feel right now.
      I wrote that piece in such a hurry i let it flow without any edit and I asked no one’s opinion on it either.
      That said, The executive Office of the President of the US has been on our site before; Congress visits fairly often – with our site high up there amongst the LGBT sites maybe someone will hear our desperation. I have yet to send the letter. Thanks for the corrections. I will edit it too and then fax it for what that is worth! Mel

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