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The Real L Word Recap: Episode 9

08/16/2010- by Natasia Langfelder

Peter S. Beagle once said, “There are no happy endings, because nothing ever ends.” Obviously, he has never been to Dinah Shore where there are tons of happy endings. It’s also the end of Season 1 of The Real L Word and things are going to get worse before they get better.

So the ladies are asked a question before the show one last time. This week the question is about Dinah Shore. Tracy, Rose and Whitney have been to Dinah Shore. Nikki would never go, she asks Showtime if they are trying to get her in trouble. Jill says it’s a new word in her vocabulary. Rose says they have a bronze statue of her there. Way to end the questions with a bang, Rose.

  Sarah and friends show up at Whitney’s house after moving to LA. They found an apartment near Whitney. Sarah’s cute friend is distracting, so I missed what Whitney said. Sorry guys.

Jill and Nikki are going to the airport to pick up their friend, Kaplan. They have a lot of wedding appointments that they are taking Kaplan too. Nikki is nervous, she has known Kaplan since they were eleven.

At Stamie’s Shack o’ Children, Tracy’s roommate Michele is meeting all three kids. Stamie tells Tracy she’s going to make out with her in front of mom. Tracy reminds Stamie that there is no PDA in front of mom. Stamie says that if Zory wears flats, she won’t do PDA. She also makes fun of Baby Steps, saying “Bitch you’re 60, how many baby steps do you have left? “ Stamie is finally sick of Tracy’s mom. In her head she had a heartwarming family scene all pictured out, but once Zory didn’t want to meet the kids, Stamie was over her high maintenance ass. But she would still love for her to meet the children so she can ‘see the whole picture.’ Stamie than bitches to Michele about Zory. Michele calms Stamie down. Tracy doesn’t want anyone to walk on eggshells and to be accepted. She probably can’t have both. Then she goes to change diapers.

Rose is at work! Like, in an actual office. Natalie is there too, working as her assistant. She says things are starting to look up, Rose says Natalie is doing it backwards. They aren’t on the same page at all.

Nikki and Jill are on their way to LAX to get Kaplan. Nikki is really tense for some reason, Jill is suspicious. Kaplan isn’t really coming to visit, Jill’s mom is! It’s a big surprise Nikki did for her and it’s actually really sweet. Hugs for everyone! I’m kind of sad that we don’t get to see what someone named Kaplan looks like.

Natalie and Rose are going to Dinah Shore as a couple. Nat is worried but hopes they have a great time together. They are out to dinner to celebrate staying together through another month. Nat wants Rose to promise not to be bitchy. Rose says lets not make out with other people. Natalie wants to talk about it. Rose is confused. Rose has never gone with a girlfriend to Dinah, she says it’s a test for any couple but especially her and Nat.

Mikey and Raquel are packing for Dinah Shore. Raquel has never been and it’s also her birthday! Mikey got Raquel a present…it’s a tattoo of her name right underneath Mikey’s Jesus tattoo, on her wrist. Raquel is touched. Mikey said that she has never really been able to show her emotional side because of her difficult childhood, but she’s trying to learn for Raquel. Awww.

Whitney is leaving with Scarlett and Sarah for Dinah Shore. Alyssa is staying at home, so the voice of reason is officially gone. The other ladies are also on their way.

At Dinah, women in bikinis are gyrating. Rose and Natalie rented Dinah Shore’s home, they feel special in a very gay way. It’s a kick ass house.

Nikki and Jill are picking up their dresses with both moms in tow. Jill picked a different dress than the one Nikki and her mom liked. Which is great, because the other dress was a tore up sheet. Everyone likes Jill’s new dress. It’s pretty, she looks great. Her and mom share a moment.

Tracy and Stamie are doing a PSA for California 1 Care, which is an organization that is pushing health care for all Californians. Which is great, because Californias are actually getting ripped off by their health care carrier more than any other state in the US. I’m not naming names, but highest profits, largest co-pay and least coverage. Zory is also coming to the shoot and Stamie bought one of her children, Daughtry to try to win over Zory. Zory isn’t comfortable meeting him, she wanted to get to know Stamie first. She’s pissed.  But how can the tow headed Daughtry NOT win anyone over? Tracy and Stamie say their lines woodenly and everyone celebrates. Zory’s heart of ice melts a little and they all take a picture together.

Whitney is now in Palm Springs at a hot hotel room. Whit wants to clarify her relationship with Sarah because the party is coming. They go to the Hilton to party and there are tons of hot chicks grinding. Whit tries to play is cool with Sarah, but they get caught up in the moment. She likes her a lot. They go to the pool and mess around. They tell each other they kind of want to be together? I don’t know they are doing the drunk talk thing. Whit says they both have walls up. Sarah asks Whit if she’s her girlfriend. Whitney kisses her in response and feels a little vulnerable. They go back to the hotel room and hook up.

Nikki and Jill are back at the house they are getting married in with their wedding planner and their moms. They wanted to show the house to their moms because they want their approval. Moms love it, of course. Jill and her mom walk on the beach together and share a moment.

Mikey and Raquel are in Palm Springs for a day. It’s not their speed as a couple. Raquel can’t find the lesbians. Mikey says Dinah is a place to make fun of people, but I didn’t see anyone to make fun of. Raquel’s tranny friend told her that the girls at Dinah are hot.

Rose and Natalie are at Club Skirts, the White Diamonds party. Rose approaches topless girls only wearing paint and touches them. Rose is running around and talking to people, like she came alone to the party, according to Natalie. Nat chooses not to make it an issue, why? Who knows.

For Tracy’s 30^th birthday party, she is having an intimate dinner at her aunt’s house. Stamie is over Zory, she wants her to leave so she can have Tracy back. Tracy was happy to see her family and friends come together for her birthday. Zory says in an interview, that she knows she’s the one that has to change. Tracy says she’s not choosing Stamie or her mom, she is choosing herself. She cries a little with this realization and I hope it all works out for her.

Rose and her bros and Nat are hanging out at the Palm Springs house. They aren’t fighting, they are hooking up. Rose says she knows Nat is exactly what she wants, but she needs to grow up.

Mikey and Raquel are out at Club Skirts at the pool party. Raquel is in shock. She describes it like a scene from National Geographic, she says it’s great but not for her. Rose and Nat are there too. Everything is fine but all of a sudden they are fighting over the bathroom line. Nat apologizes for being bitchy and starting a fight.

Whit is out at the pool party, her and Sarah are holding hands and Whit likes it. Her eyes are only on Sarah. But in the distance Romi does a little voodoo dance and calls Sarah to her. Sarah runs up to her and starts humping her. They go to get a drink. Whit dances by herself in the corner. Romi and Sarah have been talking on Facebook because they have a lot of friends in common. Sarah told Romi not to tell Whit they were talking. Now, Romi spills the beans to Whit. She’s eaten up by the irony.

Nat is chasing after Rose, who is with her friends, walking away from her. Rose argues with Nat more. They are arguing over the bathroom line. Seriously. Nat is getting the feeling Rose wants to fight to get rid of her. Rose runs into Whitney and they hang out and Rose has no idea where Nat is. They do beer bongs together. Rose and Whit are both pros at it. Rose’s best friend Marlow is there, Marlow is hot. They dance and grind together in their bikinis. Rose sees her and Marlow and freaks out. She approaches the girls and yells at them. Rose breaks up with her right then and there and then tells her friends Nat is a dumb bitch. Her bromance tells her she fucked up. Nat and Marlow walk away.

Sarah is in the pool. Whit goes to look for her, but Romi finds her first. By the time Whit gets there, Romi and Sarah are making out. I guess no one can resist Romi. So Whit decides to go back to the hotel room and pass out. Whitney cries in her confessional because she likes to think she doesn’t need anybody, but maybe she realizes she does.

Zory left, but she calls Tracy and says she wishes she could be near her. She says it was nice meeting her friends and that she isn’t in a position to judge anyone and that Tracy is not doing anything wrong.  Tracy is happy, she feels this means her mom is supportive. She thinks she’s getting through to her mom and her and Stamie are happy. They are also happy they can kiss again.

Rose goes back to the house and tells another bromance her and Nat broke up. Nat is in their room, packing up her stuff. Rose thinks Nat should apologize for being drama, Nat is just tired of being left so this time she is leaving. Rose is now picking a fight about money. Nat doesn’t want her money.

Mikey and Raquel are back in their hotel room getting ready to go out. It takes Mikey 15 minutes to get ready but Raquel takes hours. Raquel is wearing lingerie. It reminds Mikey of when they were dating when they were 21 and 23. Raquel looks so hot that Mikey can’t wait to get her back to the room and they haven’t even left yet. She carries Raquel out of the bathroom over her shoulder and they hook up on the bed. I don’t think they ever make it to the party.

Rose and Nat are arguing in the house. Nat says she’s done. But we all know she’s not.

Jill and Nikki are taking mom back to the airport. Jill cries, she had a great time wish it didn’t have to end, etc etc.

Dinah Shore is over. Raquel and Mikey are packing up. Rose is packing up by herself, Natalie left already. Rose is kind of sad about it. Nat is in her car, being angry about Rose retrospectively. She doesn’t want to be her punching bag anymore. Good for her.

Whitney is driving back home with her friends. Whit says that it solidifies that her and Sarah aren’t ready to be a couple. She says that she is single as hell “so ladies, watch out.”

Now there is a montage of the girls doing what they do best set to lesbian guitar music. Mikey is working, Rose is at a club with strippers, Whit is working out, Rose is doing hair, Jill and Nikki are washing their dogs, Mikey is working, Tracy is taking care of the kids. We also get to see Whitney acting, which is actually pretty cool. Mikey and Raquel are out on her bike. Nat is going to sleep alone with her dog and the season is over. Just like that.

Final thoughts? Chances are there won’t be a second season of the show. It started out with promise but quickly got boring. I don’t think that was the fault of the subjects, it was more the editors who showed one side of each woman. For example, Whitney must have done more than talked about her love problems, why didn’t we see her going to work on the movie? That would have been awesome. I got tired of watching Whitney hurt Romi and Tor’s feelings, she did other things. It doesn’t seem like she was a bad person at all and she’s certainly not a slut and it’s sad we only saw one side of her.

All we saw of Jill and Nikki was their wedding planning, they must do other things. After all that planning, we never even get to see the wedding.

Rose seems like a horrible girlfriend, but being her bromance might be cool. It seems like if you don’t hook up with her, she would be cool to know.  (Ditto for Whitney)

Mikey was mostly at work, but seeing more of her hanging out with her friends would have been cool. The one scene we got between her and Romi was fun to watch.

The show probably showed Tracy in the most versatile light, but even with that, we saw like 4 episodes focused on her mom and her visit, which was probably only a few days long. If the show does come back, it needs to show more sides of each women, it needs to show more friendships, especially between the women on the show. I hope that Showtime gives The Real L Word a second chance, if only so that the producers can try again to fulfill their vision. Because I’m sure this wasn’t it. The show has potential, but there are a lot of changes that need to be made. What do you think? Were you happy with the first season? Would you watch a second season? Who is your favorite L worder and who should get booted from the show?

Thanks for reading, ladies! This isn’t the end of Lezgetreal’s Real L Word coverage, stay tuned for an interview with Mikey Koffman and friend me on Facebook to stay up with the latest lesbian gossip.

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