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Two Open Letters Call For Lt. Dan Choi To Apologize For Sexist And Degrading Comment

11/02/10-by Bridgette P. LaVictoire
The comments made by Lieutenant Dan Choi regarding Senator Harry Reid have certainly not endeared him to many people, especially many women. Despite his attempts at an apology, which I spoke out against rather vehemently not long ago, he has not actually walked back or apologized for his statements calling Senator Reid a very derogatory term for a woman, and doing so in unnecessarily graphic detail.

What follows are two open letters reprinted with permission which call upon Lt. Choi to apologize for his sexist and indefensible comments:

AN OPEN LETTER TO DAN CHOI

Dear Dan,

The Service Women’s Action Network (SWAN) and the undersigned advocacy organizations were shocked and extremely disappointed by your comments about women in your recent interview in the Village Voice. You should know as we do that there is no room for misogyny, racism or other forms of hate speech among people who are working to end discrimination and bring about equality in the military, and throughout society.

Your comments about women are irresponsible, indefensible and inexcusable, and you should publicly acknowledge that fact. As a human rights advocate, you should know that degrading one group of people to promote the rights of another disserves everyone. Your sexist comments also undermine SWAN’s efforts to achieve our policy objectives, which include promoting equality for all servicemembers.

As an organization that advocates for equal opportunity for all servicemembers and veterans, SWAN is keenly aware that there is still a tremendous amount of misogyny both within the military and the LGBTQ community, and that misogynistic and homophobic language is rampant in the military. Comments denigrating women’s bodies, or suggesting that simply being a woman is abhorrent, are unacceptable. Unfortunately, this type of language is all too familiar to women in the military.

As a direct result of misogynistic language, a hostile work environment for servicewomen–both heterosexual and lesbian–is allowed to thrive. Hate crimes, sexual harassment, lesbian-baiting, gay-bashing and sexual assault have flourished. Adopting and promulgating hate-filled speech against women only serves to increase the danger that servicewomen and LGBTQ servicemembers face on a daily basis.

We must hold you accountable for what you say as a spokesperson for equality. We encourage you to render a genuine apology, rather than a half-hearted, perfunctory tweet on Twitter. We also encourage you to discuss this issue with us further. It is part of our mission to educate the public about the serious challenges facing military women and women veterans, and we’d be more than happy to assist you in deepening your understanding of these issues.

Service Women’s Action Network
Military Rape Crisis Center
MilitarySexualTrauma.org
National Center for Lesbian Rights
National Council of Women’s Organizations
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
National Organization for Women
Servicemembers Legal Defense Network
UNID@S
VetWow
Women’s Research & Education Institute

The following is from C.D. Kirven, co-founder of Get Equal Now:

Dear Dan:

As a member of the LGBT community fighting against bigotry, I understand the depth of your passion and also empathize with the difficulties you’ve endured fighting to expose the injustice America so openly projects to the world during a time of war recklessly turning its back on LGBT soldiers who’ve sacrificed for their country. In 2009, women made up 14 percent of the army but accounted for up to 48 percent of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’s discharges. “Harry Reid is a pussy,” you angrily said after the failed Senate vote last month, vowing to speak out, and “he’ll be bleeding once a month.” Your comment is almost too insulting to take seriously but needs to be publicly addressed in order for us to move forward as one unified LGBT movement. Women must always stand up and speak out against anyone using female bodily functions to insult someone publicly.

“We’ve chosen the path to equality; don’t let them turn us around,” once bravely conveyed by Geraldine Ferraro but perfectly captures this moment in history. I’m disappointed in your indifferent apology and in the calice way it was delivered. Women are still fighting for equality so for you as a gay man to trivialize our plight is as insulting to me as the Democratic Party’s hypocritical videos to LGBT youth proclaiming; “It gets Better,” while bullying the whole LGBT community with unconstitutional laws. Your comment betrays the very freedoms that you as a solider…have fought so hard to protect.

I’m baffled as to where the feminist in the lesbian community have gone but I must confess to you that I’m a woman before anything else so I refuse to tolerate anyone publicly demeaning women. Personally, I’m very hurt and disappointed in you as a leader – this truly…breaks my heart. Unfortunately, this type if masochistic behavior is nothing new to the LGBT community which overtly displays its lopsided female representation with a limited number of lesbian clubs, magazines and clothing stores. So as a woman it’s my responsibility to call out anyone openly disrespecting or disregarding the difficulty of our continued struggle. Anything less would be disingenuous to the fundamental principles of our movement and to any progress we’ve made in our almost half a century civil rights pursuit.

“We will not see sustainable progress unless we fix failures in health systems and society so that girls and women enjoy equal access to health information and services, education, employment and political positions.” — Dr. Margaret Chan, Director-General, World Health Organization

Gloria Steinem was right the problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn but to unlearn. But, as a gay man you know better so you should do better. You have the unique opportunity to expand your voice and as Anon has communicated so well; “A real leader faces the music; even when he doesn’t like the tune!” Lead our community by opposing gender baiting and understanding that those kinds of comments are unacceptable!?

UNICEF, State of the World’s Children, 2007

Source: UNICEF, State of the World’s Children, 2007

“The informal slogan of the Decade of Women became “Women do two-thirds of the world’s work, receive 10 percent of the world’s income and own 1 percent of the means of production.” — Richard H. Robbins, Global Problems and the Culture of Capitalism

Furthermore, despite the efforts of feminist movements, women in the core [wealthiest, Western countries] still suffer disproportionately, leading to what sociologist refers to as the “feminization of poverty.” At the same time that women produce 75 to 90 percent of food crops in the world and are responsible for the running of households. According to a UN report, the international community has fallen far short of its commitments to empower women with only eight out of 188 member states committing to global gender equality agreements.

As race relations within the LGBT community is almost non-existent and as sexism slowly leaves the shadows, you as a leader will hopefully seize the opportunity to unify instead of dividing us along gender lines. My plea will most likely go unanswered because I’m a middle-class lesbian of color who can’t afford to pay to play. But as a leader in my community, I’m neither cautious nor careful in my demand for reform so I implore you to become the equality you so proudly represent.

Sincerely,

C.D. Kirven

Co-founder of Get Equal Now

(C.D. Kirven is a Lambda Literary nominated author of the book, “What Goes Around Comes Back Around”. She is board member of DFW Pride Movement and an LGBT rights activist. In addition, she is an artist who has had artwork was shown at the Butch Voices Conference in Oakland, CA and in the December 2009 issue of Curve magazine. She also created the first LGBT cell phone documentary about same sex intimate partner abuse. She has an online clothing line at www.zazzle.com/cdkirven and is editing her online reality show about her life called: “SOULPRINT”. Ms. Kirven is currently working on a non-fiction lesbian rights manifesto, “The Glass Closet” and a documentary.)

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• Dan Choi Tries To Apologize For Sexist Slur Against Harry Reid (lezgetreal.com)
• Lt. Dan Choi: “Harry Reid is a Pussy Who Bleeds Once a Month” (lezgetreal.com)