03-29-2011 by L. S. Carbonell
In addition to covering the wedding itself, sometimes one must cover the silliness.
Somewhere out there in the ether, a debate is going on over whether or not Kate Middleton will learn to do the “royal wave” – a “hold the arm in the air and twist hand at the wrist” move that Queen Elizabeth has used forever. There’s also a lot of speculation as to how this “royal wave” came into being. The short and accurate answer: it’s ergonomic. The “royal wave” takes less energy, exerts less stress on the arm muscles and is easier to sustain when riding for miles in a carriage. It’s that simple.
Things like this get a lot of dumb press. People gushed over Princess Diana’s habit of looking through her eyelashes. They speculated about it, analyzed it, mentioned it ad nauseum. Men adored it. The reason for it was too mundane to contemplate. Princess Diana was very tall for an Englishwoman. After she passed about 5’5″, she was taught to tilt her chin in and look at men through her eyelashes. It makes short men think they are taller. It’s something tall girls used to be taught routinely. My grandmother, who went to the same type of British boarding school Princess Diana did, taught it to me. She topped out at 5’10″.
Ms. Middleton’s friends managed to pull off a girls’ night party – called a “hen party” in England – on Saturday so secretly that the press didn’t catch on to it until Tuesday. Prince William and Ms. Middleton have requested that in lieu of wedding presents, contributions be made a list of charities, but this event was attended by her closest friends. No word on if there was a run by said friends on Victoria’s Secret before the party. There is a very limited gift registry, for the use of the couple’s closest friends and family. It’s allegedly heavy on kitchen equipment, not lace doilies.
Prince Harry pulled off a private bachelor’s party for his older brother, also held on Saturday, at a private estate. He’s in the Arctic now, doing a North Pole expedition with a mixed group of fellow soldiers and disabled persons. Prince Harry has had a hard time of it in the Army. He wants to serve fully, but when it became known that he was in Afghanistan, he was pulled out for the safety of his troop. He’s a good soldier. He graduated from the best military school England has to offer and he is denied the chance to do what he does well.