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Lesbians, Larceny and Lions… Oh My

Sometimes a burglar will pick the lock, steal your jewelry, steal your money, and pinch the lock on the way out, and then there are those who seem to stumble around like a drunken bull in a china shop. That appears to be what happened with ninteen-year-olds Britney Singleton and Harley Gifford. The lesbian lovers have been said to have broken into two dozen houses this past summer stealing things like flat-screen TVs and facial creams.

That is, until they ran into what they insist is a lion.

The duo are being called by Upper Darby, Pennsylvania police “Thelma & Louise”.

Upper Darby Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood Sr stated “They’re a two-person gang. They rip out all the drawers, go through the cabinets, throw everything on the floor. Not only are they criminals, they’re sickos.”

According to
“Jewelry, video games, cameras, laptops, watches, $22,000 in cash, Euros, pesos, poker chips, $2 bills, toy ponies, toy cars, toilet paper, a .22-caliber revolver, a Sony PlayStation, a Nintendo Wii, knives, autographed baseballs, Crazy Glue, lubricated condoms, a Virgin Mary statue, sneakers, iPods and baby lotion. And a hookah pipe and some pot. Hey, why not?”

Both now face 25 counts of burglary, theft, receiving stolen property and related offenses. Chitwood added “They sold a lot of stuff on the street, but they’d stolen so much in such a short period of time that they couldn’t get rid of everything.” Police Captain George Rhoades stated “This was their shopping spree. They didn’t buy lotion or nail polish, because they stole it. They took whatever they could get their hands on.”

At one point, they even stole a 55-inch TV without a car. They just carried it down Marshall Road to their home. Initially, it was thought that the two were supporting a drug habit, but they deny that saying that they are clean. Chitwood said “Just thieves, pure and simple. And they were getting more brazen. Almost every one was a daylight burglary. They said, ‘Who would suspect two women?’ That’s why they felt they could get away with it.”

Police have been unable to verify the story that Gifford and Singleton encountered a lion in one of the homes that they ran into in the township’s Cardington section since there was no one home when they went there, but both have claimed to encounter a lion there in separate interviews. Chitwood stated “It’s kinda funny. They said they shut the door and got out. We asked, ‘Are you sure it wasn’t a big dog?’ And they said separately that it was a lion.”



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