I don’t see any point in hyperventilating about advertising campaigns. While people have been heaping awards and praise on Mad Men, I usually think of the advertising industry as a cross between Bewitched and Mr. Mom – a whole industry filled with desperate people dedicated to selling things no one really needs.

It’s no surprise that real men don’t drink diet soda. They don’t drink diet beer either from the looks of those beer bellies. No real man wants to caught holding a can that says “lite” or “light” or “diet” on it no matter what color the package. Real men can consume worthless calories without worrying about saddlebags or sagging butts! However, the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group has decided that they really want to crack the diet market for men, so they have put their advertising people and focus group analyzers and market researchers on the project and come up with MANLY diet soda. And they are selling it with an ad campaign that says this drink ain’t for you delicate little calorie-counting ladies. Only real men can down this swill! Hate my movie? Of course you do, now hand me a DP10 and go to your girlie-friend’s house to watch those romantic comedies!

The newly introduced Dr. Pepper Ten has real sugar instead of Splenda, which accounts for the ten calories, and comes in a gun-metal gray can with silver bullets on it. Oh, puh-leeze. It still says “diet” on it, doesn’t it? It still touts the calorie count, doesn’t it? Just because it comes in a can the same color as a battle field coffin, and reinforces the death theme with bullets, doesn’t negate the fact that it is a diet drink. Though one really has to wonder about the image they are projecting with this packaging.

Like I said, I tend to think of the advertising industry in terms of Darrin Stephens – a well-meaning man who was a tad on the dense side. He wasn’t a total idiot, just an ad man, like the idiots who think a soft drink can should resemble the coffins we use to bring home our battlefield dead. Okay, I’ll stop being obtuse about this…..your can suggests dying. Got it now?

By the way, all you cute little ad guys in your pretty little suits – real women sweat, belch, fart, drink beer from cans, ride hogs, own guns, wear jeans and boots, kick ass, can gut a deer and light a fire, “bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never, ever let you forget you’re a man….” (Loved that performance by Raquel Welch and Miss Piggy.) We also watch action movies, not just chick flicks. If you paid attention to Gerard Butler’s career, you’d know that.  His rom-coms suck.  My daughter took me to 300.  Great abs, disappointing ass – Gerard’s, not my daughter’s.

Related articles

• Dr. Pepper’s New Manly Drink is Not For Women (neatorama.com)
• [Blisstree] Dr. Pepper Ten’s “Manly Calories” – Just Not For Women. (blisstree.com)
• Dr Pepper Ten: ‘No women allowed’ (sfgate.com)
• Dr Pepper’s new brand is a manly man’s soda (msnbc.msn.com)
• Dr Pepper Ten: Because Men Don’t Drink Diet Soda? (huffingtonpost.com)
• Nina In New York: The Doctor Is In, And He Totally Hates Women (newyork.cbslocal.com)