John Smid is the former leader of the ‘ex-gay’ ministry Love in Action. One of the things that LiA has always presented the idea that being gay is a choice, but Smid now says that this is not the case. Smid stepped down as the executive director of LiA in 2008. In a blog post, Smid went further than just quitting LiA, he has stated flat out that he has never met “man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual.”
He also wrote “I used to define homosexuality or heterosexuality in terms describing one’s behavior. I thought it made sense and through the years often wrote articles and talked from that perspective. Today, I understand why the gay community had such an issue with my writings. My perspective denied so many facets of the homosexual experience. I minimized a person’s life to just their sexuality but homosexuality is much more than sex.”
He went on to say “I would consider myself homosexual and yet in a marriage with a woman. My sexual desires, attractions and lifelong struggle with common factors relating to homosexuality are pretty much all in the classification of homosexual. I tried my hardest to create heterosexuality in my life but this also created a lot of shame, a sense of failure and discouragement. Nothing I did seemed to change me into a heterosexual even though I was in a marriage that included heterosexual behavior.”
Smid is married to a woman that he loves very much, but he is adamant that he is still gay. He stated “One cannot repent of something that is unchangeable… I also want to reiterate here that the transformation for the vast majority of homosexuals will not include a change of sexual orientation. Actually I’ve never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual.”
Smid also addressed gays being Christians saying “I hear story after story of men and women who accept themselves as being gay, in Christ, and finally find that life makes sense to them. Many are able to then nurture an authentic relationship with Christ because they are being honest and authentic with themselves and finally are able to accept His love unconditionally which changes the dynamic of their understanding of Him. Far too many homosexuals who are seeking Christ perceive that they cannot come close to Him if they remain a homosexual. In this mindset they search feverishly for change that will not come to them.”
Zack Ford of ThinkProgress also noted about Smid “But Smid’s apology also helps connect the dots between the mythology of ex-gay therapy and anti-gay political positions. When individuals like Rick Santorum or Herman Cain (or anyone from this weekend’s Values Voter Summit) defend their opposition to LGBT equality by suggesting that sexuality is all about behavior or that it’s a choice, they are endorsing ex-gay therapy as the foundation of those positions. Cain said, ‘Show me the science,’ but as Smid points out, people with anti-gay positions often aren’t willing or able to understand any of the facts that contradict their discriminatory positions.’”
This not surprising. In all honesty, we have seen people come forward and say that they could never be anything but gay. As anyone who is happy being gay knows, it is impossible to be other than who you are.