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Mike And Ike Breaking Up? Tony Perkins Blames Gay Marriage

It has been seventy years since Mike and Ike tied the knot, which is a long time, if you think about it. Why, Mike and Ike must in their 90′s or something! Talk about a long term commitment! Well, now, Mike and Ike have decided to go their separate ways. Mike wants to become a music legend and Ike wants to take up art.

Of course, no one actually said that the two imaginary candy icons are really breaking up, and the “fight” isn’t really there, and, well, no one has actually said that they are gay.

Of course, Tony Perkins has shown off that he is always thinking about gay sex. In fact, Perkins seems obsessed with gay sex to the point that Mike and Ike’s “breakup” is causing him consternation. Seriously, Perkins thinks that Mike and Ike are divorcing.

The head of the Family Research Council stated:

“There’s trouble in candy land. After more than 70 years together, Mike and Ike are calling it quits. The duo is staging a gay divorce as part of a new ad campaign to draw in younger customers. In this society, even candy has an agenda! From Facebook to Tumblr, the fruity pair says, ‘The rumors are true. We just couldn’t agree on stuff anymore.’ Starting this summer, the company will spend $15 million on billboards and TV commercials that poke fun at the breakup. It’s just another subtle example of society chipping away at the value of marriage. And I don’t know what’s more disturbing – that advertisers think divorce appeals to kids or that sexualizing candy will make people buy more. After a year-long build-up, the company will reveal if the couple reconciles. Until then, look for Mike and Ike to have a distinctly liberal flavor.”

Oy vey….Tony…seriously dude- go find a boyfriend already.

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One Response to Mike And Ike Breaking Up? Tony Perkins Blames Gay Marriage

  1. Adamas

    April 25, 2012 at 1:00 am

    or a vibrating toy of some kind.