Sarah Burris has issued a wonderful article about her home state of Oklahoma in which she apologizes for the craziness of the state’s anti-woman legislation. She even mentions the recent segment on The Daily Show in which state Senator Ralph Shortymade it clear that control of men’s bodies is sacred, but not women’s control of their own bodies.
On behalf of the great state of Oklahoma I want to take this opportunity to apologize. Wednesday evening, the Daily Show with Jon Stewart interviewed our Senator Ralph Shorty, the architect of the Oklahoma Personhood bill intended to declare a fertilized egg a person. Shorty explained that he couldn’t add Senator Constance Johnson’s “Every Sperm is Sacred” Amendment to his bill controlling women’s bodies, because her amendment was an effort to control men’s bodies. Senator Shorty will control women’s bodies, but control of men’s bodies Is. Not. Allowed. I promise you not all of our elected officials are this hypocritical, and most Oklahomans absolutely are not.
While I’m at it, I also want to apologize for all those oil companies encouraging Sen. Inhofe to declare global climate change is fake. You see, Oklahoma is where the oil comes from. We horde it like dominated squirrels so when we suck the Middle East dry everyone at home becomes a billionaire. I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.