It does not bode well for a party when their Presidential nominee disowns the party’s official platform, but that’s what Mitt Romney’s surrogates were saying today, that their man doesn’t lockstep with the party platform. Good idea, since this is such a radical platform it is bound to turn people off.

The platform starts off with a warning. It says that the American Dream has been one of equal opportunity for all, but “today that American Dream is at risk.” It promises to “begin anew, with profound changes in the way government operates, the way it budgets, taxes and regulates.” So, let me get this straight. They way our government has operated for 200 years allowed for that American Dream, but now that same government is preventing the American Dream, so it must be redone. Got that?

If this platform had been honest, it would have said the following: “We have no ideas of our own and will do whatever we are told to do by ALEC and submit ALEC’s legislation at the local, state and Federal level, and because our base is just as mindless as we are, we will have the majorities to accomplish whatever ALEC wants from us.”

But, it is necessary for the RNC to at least appear to have control of their own brains, so they took the dictation and prepared a platform straight out of ALEC’s dream book.

On job creation, the platform is really vague. “We do not offer yet another made-in-Washington package of subsidies and spending to create temporary or artificial jobs.” But it does not say what they are offering, other than “economic growth.”

For “small business” they will reform the tax code, but again, no specifics. Bear in mind that “small business” in the tax code is any business wholly or mostly owned by a person or family, so Cargill, Bechtel, S.C. Johnson are all “small businesses.” Size has nothing to do with the definition of “small business” for tax purposes, and huge companies like Cargill get the tax benefits we think are being created for the Mom-and-Pop bodega up the street.

They pledge to extend the Bush tax cuts, at least until the tax code is reformed. They want to eliminate all taxes on interest income, dividend income, capital gains, the estate tax and the alternative minimum tax. Allegedly, these would be eliminated for the lower- and middle-income taxpayers, you know, the guys who don’t really get their income from any of these sources. Then, to reinforce their position as being anti-socialist, the platform states, “We reject the use of taxation to redistribute income, fund unnecessary or ineffective programs or foster the crony capitalism that corrupts both politicians and corporations.” No specifics on what are unnecessary programs, but we already know that does not include a single penny of excessive defense spending. “Reject income redistribution” is code for “end welfare, end food stamps, end unemployment benefits, end Medicaid.” They also want a Constitutional amendment for a balanced budget (hysterically funny out of the party of deficits) and a 2/3 super majority vote in Congress for any tax increases.

The RNC supports the right of states and the federal government to not recognize same-sex marriages. They want to turn DOMA into a constitutional amendment.

They also praised states that adopted photo ID for voting because “voter fraud is a political poison.” Not a word about how there is no proof of voter fraud or how many registered voters with drivers licenses are being grandfathered in with these laws without ever having proven they are citizens.

The Party opposes any legislation to limit clip or magazine capacity or restore the assault weapons ban.

The abortion plank (old terminology, “platforms” have “planks”) does not specifically state it supports a “personhood amendment,” but, darned close. “The unborn child has a fundamental individual right to life which cannot be infringed.” The party opposes using tax money to promote or perform abortions, fund organizations that perform or advocate abortions or subsidize any health care that includes abortion coverage. Translation: screw Planned Parenthood.

And moving on to the GOP’s second favorite target – the EPA. The party wants oil drilling on the Outer Continental Shelf in the Atlantic (even though there is less than six months of oil out there) and in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (like global warming isn’t doing enough habitat damage up there) and they will fast track the Keystone XL pipeline. They want new coal-fired energy plants because they will be “low-cost, environmentally responsible and efficient.” And “We will end the EPA’s war on coal and encourage the increased safe development in all regions of the nation’s coal resources.” News flash for the GOP. Several coal plants have been converted to natural gas in the past two years because gas is cheaper and cleaner. The GOP is really behind the industry on this one. They would prohibit any new greenhouse gas regulations “that will harm the nation’s economy and threaten millions of jobs over the next quarter century.” So, basically, the party’s energy policy consists of “drill, baby, drill” and the Cheney policy of “anything the energy industry wants.”

The party would take Medicare and Medicaid from “the current unsistainable defined-benefit entitlement model to a fiscally sound defined-contribution model.” Medicare’s age would be raised to be more “realistic” because of longer life spans, and the program would transition to a voucher system, which they euphemistically call “premium support model.” It would be the end of Medicare period. Medicaid would be transformed into a block grant program just as it was under Reagan. Failure is never a good reason to reject a conservative idea.

“We oppose any form of amnesty for those who, by intentionally violating the law, disadvantage those who have obeyed it.” The GOP would instruct the Department of Justice to drop any lawsuit over “papers please” laws even though those laws infringe on a specific area granted to the federal government by the Constitution (you know, that document the GOP swears they love more than Mom and apple pie.) They would deny federal funding to any college or university that allows illegals to have in-state tuition (sorry, Rick Perry) and would make English our official language, which would require dropping about half the words in American and learning to say “lift” instead of “elevator.” There might also be a problem with Bissell suing over the use of “hoover” for “vacuum cleaner.”  Oh, by the way, we can drive a Mac truck and a deferred deportation order through their statement about “intentionally” coming here.

The Republicans promise that their President Romney would use his waiver authority to stop Obamacare in its tracks until the Republican majority in both houses of Congress could repeal it. In place of Obamacare, the Republicans would give us the free market, consumer choice, improved health care quality and lower costs….details to be revealed with the Second Coming.

On education, they support all kinds of “consumer choice” like home schooling, single-gender classes, full-day school hours, year-round schools, complete local control and, the cornerstone of their education proposals canning all factual sex education and replacing it “with abstinence education which teaches abstinence until marriage as the responsible and respected standard of behavior.” And let’s just ignore that little state being pounded by Isaac right now, the one between Louisiana and Alabama where they only teach abstinence and have the highest illegitmate and teen mother birth rates in the country. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the great State of Denial: Mississippi.

Finally, after a primary season of forty-seven debates with each candidate pledging to wipe Iran off the face of the planet, the Republican Party platform says they are “the party of peace through strength.” That means being the most heavily armed macho bullies on the planet so our stength assures no one gets out of line. And the Party stresses its support of American exceptionalism. By the way, it’s official, the GOP has branded the Obama administration wimpy on North Korea, China and Iran…though it’s sort of like the way North Korea was included in that “axis of evil” speech, it and China are just thrown in there to make it seem like we’re not picking on Iran. The Republican defense plan “restores as a principal objective the deterrence using the full spectrum of our military capabilities.” That means we’ll cut everything out of the budget to balance it, but increase military spending for our friends in the defense industry.

So, there you have it. The Republican Party platform for 2012. Even if Mitt Romney doesn’t support it, it is the blueprint for state legislators, Congressmen and Senators.

You have been warned.

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