Fars, the semi-official news agency of the Iran, cited a Gallup poll that found that “the overwhelming majority of rural white Americans said they would rather vote for Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than U.S. president Barack Obama.” According to The Onion, the website that Fars cites, 77% of rural white voters prefer Ahmadinejad to Obama.
“I like him better,” said West Virginia resident Dale Swiderski, who, along with 77 percent of rural Caucasian voters, confirmed he would much rather go to a baseball game or have a beer with Ahmadinejad, a man who has repeatedly denied the Holocaust and has had numerous political prisoners executed, than spend time with Obama. “He takes national defense seriously, and he’d never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does.”
It would have to be a non-alcoholic beer given that Muslims are prohibited from drinking alcohol despite the word being of Arabic origin. Alcohol was first isolated by Persian alchemist Muhammad ibn Zakariya al-Razi.
Of course, it is unclear if The Onion plans on suing Fars since the Iranian site cited several passages of The Onion’s article without attribution, or if just the fact that Fars has egg on its face now is sufficient. After all, the Gallup poll and Dale Swiderski do not exist, and the Onion is a satirical site.
What…you thought I’d get duped by something from The Onion?