Suzanne Venker is one of those people who longs for a day that never existed. Her latest FOX News editorial is about a so-called war on men. The problem with her observations is that they are rooted in her own egotistical reading of social norms and a strong tendency to rely on “Leave It To Beaver” and “Father Knows Best” for what constitutes a normal, heterosexual family. The reality is that Venker romanticizes the time before Feminism and tries to claim that the reason why there are so few “marriageable men” today is because men are turned off by strong women who do not act like women.
Here is some of what she wrote (thanks to Think Progress for the excerpts):
The so-called dearth of good men (read: marriageable men) has been a hot subject in the media as of late. Much of the coverage has been in response to the fact that for the first time in history, women have become the majority of the U.S. workforce. They’re also getting most of the college degrees. The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women.
As the author of three books on the American family and its intersection with pop culture, I’ve spent thirteen years examining social agendas as they pertain to sex, parenting, and gender roles. During this time, I’ve spoken with hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And in doing so, I’ve accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told me, in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same.
Women aren’t women anymore. [...]
In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often unknowingly. That’s because they’ve been raised to think of men as the enemy. Armed with this new attitude, women pushed men off their pedestal (women had their own pedestal, but feminists convinced them otherwise) and climbed up to take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs. Now the men have nowhere to go. [...]
Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say, the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them.
First of all, one thing that Ms Venker seems to ignore is the irony of her little crusade. This is a woman who is advocating for women to be in the kitchen making dinner for her 2.5 kids while wearing heels and a string of pearls, and yet, she is here again acting like Phyllis Schlafly and ignoring her own statements. The question should be, why isn’t Ms Venker married and living the “good life”?
The second issue is the fact that the Feminist Movement did not create the situation where men were no longer able to take care of their families. Economic reality has forced men and women into the workforce just to be able to survive. Many women (and some men) have stated that they would be willing to stay at home and raise children if their spouse was earning a living wage. The wages that are being earned now are not enough for one family to live off of. Some families have to have two, three or four sources of income just to make ends meet, and that is if they are lucky. The reality is that the economic situation is geared towards hurting families. This isn’t about feminism, it’s about reality.
To a certain extent, Ms Venker’s right about Feminism, but completely clueless about the reasons behind what is wrong. Feminism taught women to no longer accept men’s bad behaviors. It use to be that all a woman looked for in a husband was that he brought in a good paycheck. Women were taught under the old system of belief that women should look past a man’s cheating, his drinking, and even a certain level of physical abuse. The system was geared towards men too. Women could be pretty easily dumped by a man and have no skills to fall back on, so the one who would get the children in any divorce, if one could be obtained, was the man because he had the income.
Men are not taught how to be good husbands. Men are not pushed towards getting married the way that women are. For instance, in the second season closer of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which is a show pretty much aimed towards young girls, there was a ‘fairytale wedding’. In fact, many shows aimed at girls have marriage episodes, but heaven forbid a boy’s show has one of those.
Scotch Tape Production actually has a good point on that last one (NSFW):
That was in response to this College Humor video:
In many ways, what it comes down to is the fact that men are just not being taught by society to value marriage because women like Venker are busy telling men that it is acceptable to be desire just for your money, and not for who you are. It’s like telling a woman that she is important just because she has nice tits. So, when men are taught to no longer be valued only as pieces of meat, let us know, and maybe then things will get better for them.
And, ya know something, I should know about this. I use to be a guy…and trust me, most women are trained to not go for marriageable men. We’re trained to like the jerks who hate us and treat us like crap.