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Jess’ Smoke Break: Bus Etiquette Pt. 1

“Oh, F*CK ME SIDEWAYS!”"

(*The Bus: In Vermont this is the name of the bus company that runs the public transportation system and yes, the busses are called “The Bus”.)

What does everyone who rides The Bus* have in common? Two things, really.

1. We all have somewhere to be.

2. None of us want to be riding the bus.

We wouldn’t take public transportation if we didn’t HAVE to. If everyone could just jump in their car, plane or hovercraft and take off into the sunset, the bus would not exist. Unfortunately some of us are stuck with it, so the existence of the bus carries on. As anyone who has ever taken the bus knows, there are certain things that people do that make a ride on the bus completely unbearable, and I have made it my mission to point some of these things out in an effort to make everyone’s future public transport a little more pleasant.

1. Unless someone you know is there, KEEP TO YOURSELF: You’ve all met THAT person. The stranger. The incessant chatterbox that is on a mission to inform you of every aspect of their lives from Mr. Fluffykins knocking down the Christmas ornaments, to the time they broke their foot skiing when they were 8. I don’t know you. I don’t want to be here. I don’t care. DON’T BE THAT PERSON!

2. Headphones were invented for a reason: Hey A**HOLE! I’m not forcing you to listen to my Indie Folk Rock, so tell your Dubstep to stop raping my ears! Yes, Folks, there is a beautiful new invention called “headphones” that makes everyone on the bus hate you less.

Seats are for Asses, not your crap.

3. Seats are for People: If your backpack didn’t pay busfare, it doesn’t get a seat. Now some of you may be wondering “What if there is only a few people on the bus, Does my backpack still have to pay? Common courtesy says if the bus is more than half-full, don’t be a dick. Move your backpack. The avaerage number of seats on a city bus is 34 (in Vermont we don’t have double-decker busses), so if you see 10-15 people on the bus, the floor between your feet is where your backpack gets to sit.

As a daily patron of the Killington- Rutland Commuter (AKA The Diamond Express) I am constantly noticing odd, annoying habits people have that make a bus ride unbearable. However, your cigarette is probably half gone by now, and you still have time to go read this to someone (because you undoubtedly found it hilarious) or maybe even share it to your Facebook page. So hop to it! But I assure you this is too good a subject to close in just one article. So every few weeks we will revisit the public transportation system for more annoying habits to avoid.

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One Response to Jess’ Smoke Break: Bus Etiquette Pt. 1

  1. Jerrica Magill

    December 14, 2012 at 8:10 am

    Ah, the stranger. When I was working at Michael’s and was in between vehicles, I had to deal with that same stranger everyday. The bus driver didn’t care for him either, although I did get amusement in seeing his various faces of contempt towards said stranger.