Okay, so this is going to be catty – and that’s your only warning
Why do actresses with sagging boobs insist on wearing gowns with no support and plunging necklines? Haven’t these women ever heard of strapless bras? Or good taste? It hurts to see them so out of touch with the concept of “looking good”!
Why do hippy actresses think that tight, stretchy dresses, like the mermaid style, look good on them? That style just makes their hips look huge, as the line follows the leg down to the knees. Sorry, looks great on women with a pretty standard set of measurements, but not the Kim Kardashians of the world!
Or peplum tops? Be serious – that flare only works if you DON’T have hips to hide!
What is it with the just-fucked look? Those gowns that look like they’re not all the way on? There is such a thing as sexy with dignity, rather than prostitute-interrupted!
White-skinned blondes should not wear white. While the couple of white lace over white gowns I’ve seen in the lineup have been beautiful gowns, on pale blondes the whole image washes out. Don’t any of these people own a mirror?
Mesh inserts, done well, are tantalizing and provocative. Done badly, and they distract from or overwhelm an otherwise beautiful dress. Take the one on Michele Dockery. The lines are exquisite, but that patch of flashing tit-bottom is just… distracting.
Why do the men of SAG think it’s okay to button just the middle button on their jackets? Have they even noticed that we get treated to a glaring white triangle of puffy gut that way? Button that bottom button, guys!
When dressing child actors, please try to get them a dress or suit that fits.
When it looks like you bought it for them “to grow into” they look pathetic instead of cute!
And fishnet stockings are just wrong, along with hair bows the same color as their hair – makes them look like they have cat ears or horns!
And then there were the high-school-prom dresses. I just felt sorry for those young actresses, whose taste in clothes has obviously not matured yet.
Who told natural redheads that crimson is a good color for them? It clashes! I can understand wanting to buck “traditional” color choices, but they’re “traditional” for a reason, ladies!
Pregnant women should not wear platform shoes with 6″ stiletto heels! Even if you have no respect for the safety of your own unborn child, you are setting a bad example! Snooki fell off hers, for crying out loud!
Some of these designers should be taken out and shot. Poor January Jones wore a beautifully drapped gown that was totally RUINED by the white lobster bib attached under her chin! And Idina Menzel might have gotten away with her mermaid if it had been a wee bit looser and the designer hadn’t cut in under her hips with velvet panels!
Instead of dropping thousands of dollars for couturier gowns and ill-fitting suits, these folks should hire one of Hollywood’s costume designers to do their outfits for these awards. Those people spend their entire careers making others look GOOD for the camera!
I will not comment on hair. Obviously hair stylists and makeup artists ain’t what they used to be!
To see the entire parade, since everyone needs a good laugh on Tuesdays, follow this link. All photos are courtesy of Reuters, various photographers.