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Stephen Colbert Gay Marries Koko And Jeremy Irons

The Leader of Jeremy Iron's Home Planet

The Leader of Jeremy Iron’s Home Planet

Jeremy Irons was born on 19 September on The Neutral Planet. After all, he has no strong feelings about anything, just like the people of The Neutral Planet. Now, yes, someone decided to teach Koko the talking Gorilla that gay marriage makes her ‘sad’, but given the fact that gorillas have been recorded engaging in same-sex sexual behavior.

Jeremy Irons slurs his way through a speech that makes him sound kind of like he’s high on weed or alcohol. Well, that or he’s having problems with his synapses firing and managing to actually register his thoughts as they arrive.

His argument, for which he has no strong feelings whatsoever, is that same-sex marriage opens up the ability for fathers to marry their sons (hear that younger Irons…Daddy’s got a present for you). Ironically enough, legalizing same-sex marriage is one of the ways to prevent that since what civil unions tended to allow is, well, that kind of thing to happen. But, what they hey, right, it’s not marriage, right?

Still, Stephen Colbert had some fun with Jeremy Irons’ appearance on Huffington Post Live where he discussed these issues:

Poor Jeremy Irons, kept from the love of his life by the fact that same-sex marriage is not legal. After all, without same-sex marriage, men cannot marry their sons, or ducks, or dogs, or gorillas.

Maybe that’s what Koko was worried about…if same-sex marriage becomes legal, then Jeremy Irons will be popping around to propose that they two of them get married, and we all know how that’s going to go. Koko the Talking Gorilla Bride carrying Jeremy Irons up the side of the Empire State Building while planes try to shoot at them…

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