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Kraft Salad Dressing Ad Has One Million Moms Antsy

Some cheese to go with OMM's whine.

Some cheese to go with OMM’s whine.

If One Million Moms is true when they say that ‘X’ company “will push away loyal, conservative customers with this new ad”, then there must not be very many loyal, conservative customers for these companies. You see, OMM seems to make that claim in just about every missive they send out, and yet, it never seems to be all that upsetting to people. So far, not a single company seems to have seen their “loyal, conservative customers” leaving in boatloads.

While they have tried to take credit for the problems with J.C. Penney’s and the cancellation of various shows, the reality is that they haven’t had much actual success. J.C. Penney’s problem was that they actually went against their loyal customer base to try and appeal to the ‘hip young people’ while not knowing a blasted thing about young people.

As for shows like GCB, The New Normal, etc, they had pretty abysmal ratings, so weren’t doing well anyway. Of course, they haven’t managed to get Pretty Little Liars or Glee to go down, so…

Well, what does this have to do with anything? Oh, according to OMM, Kraft is going to lose their loyal, conservative customers because of an ad in People magazine which they say is “the most disgusting ad. . .that we have ever seen Kraft produce”.

They claim said ad is a “full 2-page ad features a n*ked man lying on a picnic blanket with only a small portion of the blanket barely covering his g*nitals. It is easy to see what the ad is really selling. A person has to look closely to see the item the company is marketing because the salad dressing bottle is so small next to the male model, picnic basket and other food items. There is also a small Kraft logo in the upper corners with the words ‘Silverware Optional – Let’s Get Zesty.’”

I have to agree! A half naked man is disgusting, but then again…I’m lesbian. I suspect that their excuse is that they find this disgusting because they hate sex.

They go on to say “Christians will not be able to buy Kraft dressings or any of their products until they clean up their advertising. The consumers they are attempting to attract – women and mothers – are the very ones they are driving away. Who will want Kraft products in their fridge or pantry if this vulgarity is what they represent?”

And wrap up with “One Million Moms cannot get over the gall of this company. It is unnecessary for Kraft to use s*x to sell salad dressing! (An asterisk is used to ensure our emails get through to those who have signed up to receive our alerts. Otherwise, referencing specific words would cause our emails to be blocked by some Internet filters.)”

Now, here’s the thing, given the number of companies that support LGBT rights coupled with the number of companies that use sex to sell products, the big question is- what exactly are OMM’s using to write these email missives, and where are they buying their food? Honestly, both major computer companies support LGBT rights, and just about every food company out there uses sex to shift products.

Now, personally, I buy Cabot cheeses. Why? Better deal overall. Cabot products tend to taste better and be a little less expensive than Kraft, but even at that, I have a feeling that OMM would find Cabot Creameries verbotten.

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One Response to Kraft Salad Dressing Ad Has One Million Moms Antsy

  1. Pat Carbonell

    June 14, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    While I haven’t seen the print ad, I have seen the TV ads from this campaign, and my reaction was that Kraft advertising has sunk to a new low. Why? Because the ads cater to the tastes of the (largely) female audience that watches schlock like The Bachelor/Bachelorette, the Real Housewives franchise, daytime soap operas (which get pretty damned racy at times!), etc. etc. etc.

    Oh, wait, aren’t those the shows that One Million Moms watch in the privacy of their own suburban homes? Women’s soft porn? Kind of like Harlequin Romance books? Lots of heaving chests and manly men?

    One Million Moms are probably more upset about their own damp panties watching that commercial than anything else… after all, you can always turn the page or change the channel if it bothers you that much. Me, I hit the mute button and ignore it. But then, he’s not my type.