Melanie Nathan,  2/08/10 .  On the 3^rd of February I posted the news that Senator Schumer will not be including our LGBT families in his immigration reform Bill.  Amongst the very many e-mails sent to me as a result, here is one example, sent to us by a very angry binational same-sex partner.  http://lezgetreal.com/?p=25829   I reported –  ” Have you ever wondered why a long silence actually starts to sound like a deafening noise? It is now that the silence from Senator Schumer is deafening, with the shocking revelation from a reliable source informing us at Lezgetreal that Senator Schumer will not be including UAFA or LGBT rights in his immigration reform bill to be introduced in the weeks ahead” 

  Perhaps this forthcoming exclusion is what sparked todays letter by 60 Congressional representatives to the President and Congress, urging inclusion of gay and lesbian families in immigration reform or via UAFA.  The effort led by Rep Tammy Baldwin sent a letter to the White House and Congress to urge support for UAFA and LGBT inclusion in comprehensive immigration reform. Soon thereafter our website, known for its assertive coverage of the binational plight was visited again by members of Congress and offices much higher than that.  Perhaps the White House is going to take action. 

 Congressman Jerrold Nadler (D-NY), the lead House sponsor of the Uniting American Families Act, which would also end discrimination against LGBT binational families, asserts “We must take the government out of the business of singling out LGBT families for discriminatory treatment and live up to our democratic ideal of equality under the law,” Nadler said. “I join my colleagues in calling on Congress and the White House to include the Uniting American Families Act, which I have introduced in every Congress since 2000, in any immigration reform legislation, and end discrimination against binational LGBT families.” 

 What I find particularly disconcerting is that Immigration Equality, who holds itself out as the “pre-imminent” organization for immigration equality rights, has failed to come forward with the knowledge that Senator Schumer is not planning to include us, and continues to msilead us by their silence. 

  Does IE have a duty to play level with binationals?  I believe they do for as long as they find themselves in the number one  slot on the issue.    What has stopped them from keeping us fully informed?  

 This organization has led us down a treacherous and unwise path – into the corner we now find ourselves, and still they make decisions without our involvement as a community.  They have made a choice to side with those who do not want us and to try and convince the strongest of all faith based powers that it is a good idea to include gays and lesbians.   

 So now that the White House has been alerted to Act - 

 The question becomes: 

 1. Would you like to see quick and soon passage of UAFA as a standalone;  Or 

 2. Are you ready for the long and hateful haul of immigration reform; 

 The difference between the two lies in the philosophy: Whereas the first seems to rest on equality the second will rest on immigration. Which is the tougher argument.  Will the immigrant community be impressed by the fact that the house already has 60 on board for immigration reform?  Will that make them think we are worthy to their cause? 

  While much hated in the eyes of so many in this Country – gays and lesbians, et al, may now be coupled with  the other most disliked group – whom the conservatives choose to refer to as ‘illegal aliens,’ and progressives refer to as ‘undocumented workers/immigrants.’ 

 It is already apparent that even amongst those immigrants seeking respite from the woes of the system, resentment is building because some feel they have a much more worthy cause than ‘the gays’ – I have received emails to this effect – more worthy because we are maybe 100,000 and they are 12 million in number.   An example of some dialogue can be found at the comments at http://lezgetreal.com/?p=25829

 Schumer is known to have stated that he has chosen to abate the voracious displeasure of the Catholic community.  Can you imagine once we are included what is yet to come? 

 That said perhaps Schumer will be doing us a favor. 

 I too am calling on President Obama to PLEASE urge Congress to pass a stand-alone Bill right now – UAFA.  I for one will be glad to accept an amendment to the Current Nadler legislation – where the evidentiary proof of permanent partnership must include an affirming certificate from any Jurisdiction in the World. (eg. marriage certificate, DP or civil union certificate.)  That will dismantle the fraud argument because we will be on a level playing field with the straight spousal community. 

 Please help us avert a faith based immigration vs. LGBT equality battle – already emerging. 

A  READER’S LETTER (amongst hundreds);Sunday, February 07, 2010
TO;
President Obama
Senator Gillibrand
Senator Chuck Schumer
Congressman Peter king
State Department, Hilary Clinton
Congresswomen Nancy Pelosi
Congressman Steve Israel
CNN
Melanie Nathan at http://lezgetreal.com
New York Times
 

“To  Senator Chuck Schumer
Sir:  

I never thought that I would be calling you a liar and a cheat but I was wrong. When I watched you at the UAFA Senate hearing I was so happy that you where a senator from Long Island standing up to the right wing nuts, the church and all the bigots in this country. But after reading a story on Lezgetreal.com (http://lezgetreal.com/?p=25829 ) I was so wrong about you! I guess you are like all the rest that say something and turn around and do something else.  

After I talked to L. Fresco in your office I thought I could just sit back and just wait till you came out with the bill on Immigration reform but once again my government let me down. He had told me that you where not going to include the UAFA into your bill till the Latino senators and congressman were made happy and they got their way.  

 Because I was told they would block the bill and not support it. It looks like you couldn’t get there support so you turned your back on us. Because of you and senator Gillibrand and Congressman Peter King I now have to make plans on leaving my country for good to be with my husband, yes we are legally married in Canada and 20 other countries. I’ve sent your office my marriage Lic, faxed it to your DC office, and hand delivered it to your long island office.  

Not only that I had sent the forms from the US state department to sponsor my husband but didn’t get an answer from you, Gillibrand, Peter King and the white house. This was to proof that I am legally married to a non American and asking for help to sponsor him into this once great country. But since this is a gay issue and an immigrations issue no one will help.  

Just to let you know I am now going to contact ever single congressman, senator and newspaper in this country to let them know that you lied in a the senate hearing (6/2/2009) and because of your actions not including the uniting American families act into your immigration reform bill anther taxpaying US citizen has to leave his home land for good.  

I’m really mad and upset that I’m sitting here and my husband is half way around the world all because of the Republican Party and the church that has it in for gay rights and civil rights. I’m really mad and upset that the Democratic Party for not having a back bone and standing up to the right wing. I’m also mad and upset that I can be legally married in 20 countries and the country that claims civil rights has very little to gay people. I’m also mad and upset at Chuck Schumer for talking the talk but can’t walk the walk! I’m, also upset that the US state department is handing out visas like water to the people of Haiti and I can’t get one for my husband who has legal rights to one being married to an American. What a wonderful country this is, ya right!  

Thank you for your none help!
 I, am a  US Taxpayer who can’t get any help  

Action Alert -February 8th, 2010  

At 10:30am on February 11 — one week after our call-in to Senator Schumer’s office — the Long Island Immigrant Alliance will hold a rally outside of Schumer’s Melville office (145 Pine Lawn Road, Melville, NY 11747). The rally will show support for Senator Schumer’s comprehensive immigration reform bill, which would fix a broken immigration system, end the exploitation and demonization of immigrants, strengthen our economy by $1.5 trillion, and support our nation’s values. For more information about the rally, call 631-789-0720    Long Island Immigrant Alliance  …  

Melanie Nathan

LAST THOUGHT: None of this would be necessary as this would all be moot if DOMA were repealed and Sexual orientation was included in the Civil Rights Act.

By: Melanie Nathan  

nathan@privatecourts.com
www.privatecourts.com
Human Rights and Personal Advocacy.

 

 

 

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 Senator Schumer has not confirmed, nor announced, what specific proposals will be in his immigration reform bill. We do encourage everyone, however – as we always have – to make sure they reach out to their representatives and urge them to support inclusion of our families in any immigration reform bill.
 If you haven’t already done so, you can click here to send that message to your Members of Congress.
 It is critical that everyone call on their Members to support our inclusion. Now – in the days and weeks prior to the bill’s introduction – is the time to take action.
 Once lawmakers announce the specifics of their legislation, we’ll have more information here. Comment by Steve @ Immigration Equality — February 4, 2010 @ 2:43 pm 

STEVE do not tell me that you and all at IE have not had the news for a month that UAFA was being excluded by Schumer’s Bill. Time to come clean is NOW!

2/6/10-by Paula Brooks
Two Iowa GOP State Representatives, Jason Schultz, and Matt Windschitl, this week, co-sponsored legislation which seeks to remove LGBT students from the 2007 Iowa Safe Schools Law that protects students from harassment and bullying in Iowa’s schools and the measure has been referred to the Iowa House Education Committee for consideration.

Iowa’s Safe Schools Law requires both public and private schools to establish policies prohibiting harassment and bullying against students by employees, school volunteers, or other students.

Sexual Orientation and Gender identity are currently covered under the Safe Schools Law, but the bill introduced by Schultz, and Windschitl would strike those protections.

Said Ryan Roemerman, Executive Director of Iowa Pride Network, “When our state is facing record budget deficits and unemployment, House Republicans feel their time is best spent picking on Iowa’s LGBT youth,” “There is no better example as to why we have this law, so youth in Iowa don’t grow up to be like these bigots.”

via Iowa Pride Network: House Republicans Seek to Bully Gay Students.

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2/5/10- by Paula Brooks
After numerous meetings at the Iowa State Capitol Thursday, Brad Clark, campaign director, for Iowa gay rights advocacy group One Iowa, has said he believes Republicans will attempt to pull a bill that seeks to constitutionally define marriage as a union between one man and one woman, out of committee and on to the Iowa House floor for a vote.

According to the Iowa Independent, Clark said Republicans in the Iowa House, seeking to overturn the Iowa Supreme Court’s ruling that legalizing same-sex marriage, are likely to attempt to bring about a vote on a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage on Monday.

In an email alert, the group said, “While legislative leadership has stood firm in support of equality, extremists are attempting to overthrow House rules and push an anti-marriage amendment to the floor!”

The procedural move to pull a bill out of committee requires a 51-vote majority and seven Democrats would have to cross the aisle to vote with Republicans for the procedure to succeed.

Last year, Republicans made several attempts to bring a similar measure to the floor, but this marks the first formal attempt to overturn the Court’s ruling of the in this years legislative session.

Democratic leaders, however, managed to block the efforts to get the amendment on the floor for a vote last year and have repeatedly promised there would be no vote on a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage in Iowa during the states 2010 legislative session. Iowa State Rep. Michael Reasoner, a Democrat from Cranston, nevertheless, is the sponsor of the current legislation banning same-sex marriage that the Iowa Republicans are currently trying to move forward.

In order to become a constitutional amendment in Iowa, a bill must pass two General Assemblies and then be put on the ballot for the public. If Republicans are unable to pass the ban this year, the earliest it could go before the public for a vote would likely be 2014.

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Ny Melanie Nathan, San Francisco,   Unless there is a dramatic change in how the Gay and Lesbian (plus BTQI) minority perceives itself,   its political representatives, its leadership  and its part in its own fate, its existence will continue to be political scrap subject to constant pawn and barter of its uncertain future,’ ad infinitum.’

As a community, are we our own worst enemies?   Have we fallen prey to the slightness that has befallen our existence? I believe so; we have bought into our invalidity.  While our politicians assume back doors to our equality expedient and our advocacy organizations tread their furtive tightrope, we exacerbate our self administered nullity.

If the color of my skin were GAY, would I be asking to sit on a bench with “color straight” or would I be asking for full inclusion in “WE THE PEOPLE;” – friends WE ARE THE PEOPLE. Now is the time to let go of the shades and stand up for the Pride. Until such time as we stand up and say who we are and that we want it all NOW – we have nothing. Nothing! Nothing!

With that thought I present this example and in this instance it is based entirely on my own opinion, with an element of source information gnawing at my senses. 

Just this week I broke the news that Senator Schumer plans to exclude UAFA and hence same-sex spouses from inclusion in his about to be introduced Comprehensive immigration Reform Bill. (CIR)  It is obvious, given the Senators support of UAFA that he in fact does believe that same-sex spouses ought to have equal rights under the immigration laws. So why is he doing this?

Well there are only two logical reasons and perhaps a combination of both:  1. If I did not believe that Senator Schumer had LGBT interest at heart (and actually I do believe that does have our interest at heart) then I would say he is simply pandering to the Catholic Church’s threat to pull all support for the CIR Bill if the Senator includes gays and lesbians, especially given his record low ratings at this time; or 2. The good Senator has a plan and that is to introduce the Bill in a manner that pleases the masses of faith based ,  Latina immigrant communities and conservatives in the Senate to a point where he gets a sixty plus support,  and then ‘voooop’  under the radar,  plugs us in  at the committee stage of the Bill. 

This is indeed the perfect example of what we are allowing to happen. We are marginalized and ‘may’ be slipped in somewhere.   What will we do about it?  All the while we have binationals suffering dire hardship. Some are in exile, some are in hiding, some are away from their beloved spouses and/or families and others are being detained.  The airports are turning gays and lesbians away – those with visitor and other visas are being profiled at the airport and sent home, notwithstanding the validity of their visas.   New equal rights legislation, such as SB 54, in California is finding its hiccups in the gigantic anomaly created by the conflict between State and Federal law.

Now we must take responsibility for our part in this debacle of an existence; where we cannot marry here, but we can marry there; where we are married, but it means nothing where we live; where we cannot mention the name of our spouse when suffering an enemy bullet; where we must exile from our country to be with our foreign born partners, and where an employer can fire us for merely existing.   

It is now time to rise from the comfort of beneath radar strategies– and bring this all down to one simple cohesive position.   We can only be saved by extreme visibility and demanding the maximum, an Omnibus Bill – that imparts America grants full equality to and the LGBT community realizes its position as a minority with equal protection to sexual orientation under the Civil Rights Laws of the USA. Otherwise we will be rattling around at the discretion of a bunch of old buzzards until my four year old daughter, is President of the United States.

Instead of hiding behind piecemeal ‘tidily -bits’ and pats on the back – “yeah one more sponsor for UAFA!” or “ Whoopee  DADT got a hearing”  or “Don’t worry about Schumer’s exclusion -UAFA will be included in Committee..” or  Rep. Barney Frank’s “We must get DADT and ENDA, before I agree to Jerold Nadler’s repeal of DOMA legislation.”  This is crazy – it is all crazy. 

So are we not tired already of being THE political pawn; THE one who has to suffer someone else’s perspective wrapped in expedience? Any way you look at it – it is an impossible battle in the Washington D.C. of today.  We ARE THE PEOPLE- with an obstructionist Congress – a Democratic President –who cares about us- has breakfast with a bunch or crazies and zealots inciting gay hate in the most vulnerable places of this Earth and all the while we are expected to remain in our seats with our safety belts harnessed.

This is the vortex now is the time for a dramatic change – the change must be a fight for nothing short of full equality.  We, THE PEOPLE, must rise now and demand that our color be noticed; and included.  We are a minority and are no longer willing to fly to nowhere on the wings of nothing under the radar of prejudice. 

No civil rights have ever been attained without a comprehensive core theme, without anger, without a revolution.  Do you think apartheid would have ended in South Africa or Segregation in the USA if the oppressed had asked for one bench at a time?  How long should we sit around waiting for the perfect D.C. or some bright spark in a group to make a mark!   A few making decisions for millions of us – based on a little bit first and then maybe more later – what did that ever accomplish?  “We have made in -roads?” – Yes we have and so let us seize those outlets now instead of spending another 10 years making more in-roads. 

Are you willing to settle for what is politically expedient in the estimation of members of Congress?  Why are we being led by Congress and not by our own community?  Who are our leaders, may I ask reader who do you perceive to be your leader?  This is not to slight any of the advocacy groups or their amazing work, and without them we would be nowhere at all,  but rather to draw attention to the fact that we have indeed dived way too deep into the one piece at a time modality, by leaving it up to the groups who each subscribe to particular separate issues.

To add insult to injury, our Congress issues a resolution condemning Uganda’s Kill Gay Bill– I challenge congress with a simple question– what gives you a mouth to other nations when you barely give credence to your own gay citizenry?  Today President Obama mentioned at the Prayer Breakfast that the way Gays are treated in Uganda is unacceptable, but Sir I ask humbly, “what do you expect?” We came out of the most hateful and unlawful regime in terms of government and unless we show up for LGBT community in an all encompassing way, we will never get out from under the cloud we share with Uganda.

To lead the world on matters pertaining to human rights and basic civil rights, you have no legitimate voice until you clean your own house…. That means full equality for your own homosexual, gay, lesbian, LGBTQI community – an Omnibus Bill – “wow why didn’t I think of that,” said the chicken to the hen, an amendment to the Civil Rights Act to include sexual orientation.  Just imagine – we would not need ENDA, UAFA, repeal of DADT and DOMA will float away by virtue of its vulnerability.

 Not only have we all failed miserably to affect full inclusion, but this Country has created a milieu where American bred hatred is inciting universal abhorrence, with a professed “license to kill,” homosexuals.

When the USA Congress and laws validate the rights of Gays in America with full equality, your resolutions and reprimands will carry weight in the World.   Until such time our Congress, Democrats and Republicans alike, are actively participating in the discrimination and prejudice of our minority here in the USA thereby endorsing the relegation of Gays worldwide to ‘persona non grata.’  

Secretary of State Hilary Clinton asked Uganda to pull the Hate Kill Gay Bill.  Unfortunately the Secretary lacks credibility when Uganda can point the finger right back at the USA, asserting American influence. Scott Lively had the impertinence, fuelled by endorsements and support of Liberty Council, the Family et al, and empowered by an atmosphere here in the USA, conducive to their indiscretions, to incite and directly influence one of the worst legislative actions in modern history.

This brings me back to Now and us and our reason for being in this position. It is all a clear indication that nothing but all is acceptable.  This Congress  and this President must end the folly and the political ploys and the only way that is going to happen from our end of the responsibility is to change our thinking, take responsibility and all get involved as a movement that only stonewall knew.  We want an Omnibus Bill and we want it now.  Unless we try we will never know that we could not do it!  Much of my advocacy success has been because I have never been afraid to fail and if I am told “no” then I find another way until I can and yes I believe we can accomplish full equality, but only through an all round Bill that gives us absolute equality.

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By Melanie Nathan, Private Courts, Inc.  Conflict resolution, Strategy Consultant,  Human Rights and Personal  Advocacy
www.privatecourts.com; www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com; Follow me on Twitter @oblogdeeoblogda

2/3/10-by Paula Brooks
By a 12-8 vote, the Maryland House of Delegates Judiciary Committee has rejected an effort to prohibit that state from recognizing same-sex marriages lawfully performed elsewhere.

Del. Emmett C. Burns, a Baltimore County Democrat and minister, had proposed that the state, which does not allow same-sex unions, pass a law explicitly declaring that such marriages are illegal, even when performed in another state.

Burn’s measure would have also declared that marriages between individuals of the same sex are against the public policy of the state of Maryland.

Last month when he introduced his bill, Burns said his that with a growing number of nearby states and Washington giving the go ahead for marriage equality, it was especially important for Maryland to close what he called a legal loophole.

During hearings on the bill last week, more than 20 people testified against Burns’ bill, including Candace Gingrich-Jones, sister of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, while only five people including Burns spoke in support.

The anti-marriage equality proposal was seen as a preemptive strike against a legal opinion that state Attorney General Douglas F. Gansler has been working on since a senator requested it last year.

Most Maryland State House insiders predict that the states Attorney General will, follow the state’s long practice of recognizing unions, including common-law marriages, that are illegal in Maryland but lawful elsewhere and allow same-sex marriages to be recognized in Maryland.

While Maryland law does not recognize same-sex marriage, the state’s current practice on recognizing out-of-state unions does not account for gender, and the state does permit a limited form of domestic partnership.

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 By Melanie Nathan, San Francisco, February 3, 2010 :  Binationals and activists have been waiting patiently for Senator Chuck Schumer to introduce the enigmatic Immigration reform bill, and the LGBT binational community, whether in exile, living apart or hiding in fear, has been desperate for the answer. Will immigration reform be truly comprehensive;   will it include (UAFA) a provision that will allow for LGBT Americans (citizens or lawful residents) to sponsor their spouses (Permanent Partners) for immigration to the USA?

Have you ever wondered why a long silence actually starts to sound like a deafening noise? It is now that the silence from Senator Schumer is deafening, with the shocking revelation from a reliable source informing us at Lezgetreal that Senator Schumer will not be including UAFA or LGBT rights in his immigration reform bill to be introduced in the weeks ahead.

Coincidentally in New York tonight, the NYCLU Advocacy Director, Udi Ofer, lead the continuing Civil Liberties Discussion Series where he provided an overview of the civil rights and civil liberties priorities within comprehensive immigration reform and the prospects for reform in Congress this year. The audience was asked to do everything possible to alert Senator Schumer to the binational plight and that anything short of 100 % inclusion in comprehensive immigration reform, would be completely unacceptable.  The discussion predicted that the Senator would choose the easiest path to reform legislation, and I imagine that excluding the LGBT community is perceived as the path of least resistance.

Current law precludes LGBT couples from sponsoring spouses for immigration.  Many tens of thousands of LGBT families are caught in the quagmire of an anomaly created by the unconstitutional Defense of Marriage Act, which pits State law against the Federal law, giving couples the right to marry in certain States and then denying the American spouse the (equal) right to sponsor her/his same-sex spouse under the existing immigration laws.

If you are as outraged by this as I am, then you MUST stand up now, take action and start asking questions.  Tomorrow is too late – today is critical.  Get Senator Schumer to stand by his words before he releases that Bill.  

The first thing you can do is flood the Senators phone line and demand that comprehensive immigration reform include us all.

While I am tempted to my usual finger pointing, I refrain and instead in the spirit of the unique all inclusive grass root C=IIR Campaign, which was announced in my earlier blog by on this site, I encourage all who are outraged by this news to support this plan as the only current option to lead to our inclusion in CIR or to the passage of UAFA as a stand -alone bill.     I see  the C=IIR Campaign as providing the ultimate forum – where grassroots and organizations can pull together to finally bring about the change we need to the egregious impact rendered by DOMA on the inherent immigration rights of LGBT married spouses and partners. ¹ *

 There are those of us who while suspended at the roots of the grass; seek truth and we do not understand why we are expected to wait for matters so integral to our very existence, to unfold.  Taking matters into our own hands is imperative at this time. There are about five binational couples who are at grave risk but bravely planning on coming out to announce their stories.  These courageous foot soldiers need to see our entire community stand up for them. Our protest is our applause and our protest MUST be productive.

 So I ask, Senator Schumer as you ARE not going to include us in CIR NOW, then come face us directly  and tell us what your plan is so we can pursue our interests in ways that makes sense to us, be it protests, boycotts, advocacy!  Tell us what your motivation is – an advocate for our inclusion who fails to include us makes no sense at all.  To hide behind tactics and strategies does not serve those of us who are willing to risk all by our visibility.  So now that we have heard that we will not be included – through sources, please allow us to suffer the news from you Sir. 

   

Video -  On You Tube by – inlookingout; June 03, 2009.
Senator Chuck Schumer provides statement at the Senate hearings for the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA)  

I quote from the ACLU website:

“The Constitution guarantees the fundamental rights and civil liberties of every person in this country. Upholding the rights of the politically disenfranchised is vital; when the government has the power to deny legal rights and due process to one group of people, it puts all our rights in danger.”

• ¹ * THE ACTION – To set the stage, the 11-page 2010 Ten State Plan contains extensive detail on targets and supporters, democrats and republican alike.  Texas is a priority with a whopping 6 members on the Hispanic Caucus that have yet to endorse UAFA.   But the main opposition priority is the US Conference of Catholic Bishops, Rev. John C. Wester in Salt Lake City and Kevin Appleby in D.C., who have boldly campaigned against UAFA. To highlight how backwards American Catholic leadership actually is, the Plan shows 21 countries that allow same-sex partner immigration, including Brazil, France, and Spain where the Catholic populations are 73 to 94% of the populations.  By contrast, the US is only 24% Catholic. Ultimately the plan puts it out there for grassroots activists everywhere to jump in as they choose, from traditional lobbying to civil disobedience.  Targeted states include:   AZ, CA, FL, GA, IL, NJ, NY, OH, TX, WA, but there are targets all over.    The stated goals are three:  1.  Get City Council Resolutions in every targeted state (as NYC, Chicago, LA, San Fran, and W. Hollywood have already done), 2.  Agitate key elected, and 3.  Join the mainstream CIR movement and arrive together.  All experience levels are welcome!  To hook in to C=IIR 2010 Ten State Plan join us on Facebook at:  http://tinyurl.com/CIIRonFB or email: CequalsIIR@gmail.com.
  
  ____________________________________________________________________________

 Copyright Melanie Nathan & Lezgetreal, 2010, All Rights Reserved©; Permission granted for Re-blog- with credit to
“ Article by – Melanie Nathan of www.Lezgetreal.com “

U P D A T E ;

Sen. Charles Schumer’s standing among New York state voters continues to slide, falling below 50 percent for the first time in nine years.

According to the latest Marist poll in New York, 47 percent of registered voters statewide said New York’s senior senator is doing either an excellent or good job in office while 31 percent said his job performance was fair, and 17 percent view him as performing poorly.

Marist College Institute for Public Opinion, based in Poughkeepsie, said this is Schumer’s lowest job approval rating since April 2001 when 49 percent of voters approved of the job he was doing.    SEE ;     http://www.bizjournals.com/albany/stories/2010/02/01/daily13.html

 By Melanie Nathan,

www.privatecourts.com;
www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com
nathan@privatecourts.com   
@oblogdeeoblogda

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“There is no rational connection between sexual orientation and what is or is not in the best interest of a child,” says Florida Judge.

1/31/10-by Paula Brooks
A judge in Miami has called a third strike on a 1977 Florida law that bans LGBT couples from adopting children in the Sunshine State, after she approved judge approved the adoption of a 1-year-old girl by Vanessa Alenier, 34, and her partner Melanie Leon, 31, a Hollywood, FL lesbian couple.

“There is no rational connection between sexual orientation and what is or is not in the best interest of a child,” Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Maria Sampedro-Iglesia. She also called the anti-gay adoption law “unconstitutional on its face,” and that it could not be enforced.

“The permanent interests and benefit to all members of the adoptive household will be promoted by the adoption,” Sampedro-Iglesia wrote. Alenier “is a fit and proper person to adopt the child and has adequate resources and facilities to care for the child.”

Judge Sampedro-Iglesia’s ruling comes after a judge in Key West, Monroe Circuit Judge David J. Audlin, declared the law unconstitutional, after Audlin’s allowed a gay Key West lawyer, Wayne LaRue Smith, to adopt a boy he had been raising in foster care and Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman approved the adoption of two half brothers by a gay North Miami foster parent, Frank Martin Gill, after she too said the law was unconstitutional.

Florida Department of Children & Families administrators, who objected to the adoption, has not yet decided whether they will appeal.

“We are currently reviewing the judge’s decision and will make a decision on an appeal within the 30-day period,” agency spokesman Joe Follick said to the MiamiHerald

Mathew Staver, founder and chairman of Orlando-based Liberty Counsel, called Sampedro-Iglesia’s ruling “evidence of judicial activism’ that violates state law.

“A judge is not a legislature onto oneself,” Staver said. “Judges don’t have the ability to write laws any way they desire. They have to follow the rule of law, and this judge did not.”

While a Miami appeals court is set to determined the constitutionality of the embattled adoption ban latter this year, the Miami Herald also noted that Sampedro-Iglesia’s ruling indicates that judges “already have made up their mind about gay adoption.”

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1/30/10-by Paula Brooks
Pennsylvania Sen. John Eichelberger (R-30th Dist.) has fulfilled on promise he made earlier this year a to introduce a bill that would institute a ban on same-sex marriage in Pennsylvania’s Constitution.

SB 707, which Eichelberger introduced last week, would amend the Pennsylvania Constitution to say that, “Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid and recognized as marriage.”

While current Pennsylvania law defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman, Eichelberger announced his intention to spearhead such an initiative last May asserting a constitutional amendment is the only way to prevent courts from overturning that law.

However shortly after Eichelberger introduced his measure, Sen. Daylin Leach (D-17th Dist.) rolled out a bill that seeks to do just the opposite, and legalize same-sex marriage in the Keystone State.

During a radio debate in June between Leach and Eichelberger over their dueling marriage equality bills, Eichelberger said about gays, “We’re allowing them to exist, and do what every American can do. We’re just not rewarding them with any special designation.”

Pennsylvania has one of the most elderly populations in the country, and most of its older citizens still express high disapproval of marriage equality. It is also heavily Catholic with some of the most activist Bishops in the nation. However, a poll conducted earlier this year by Muhlenberg College and the Allentown Morning Call showed that support for same-sex marriage rose from 35% to 42% since 2004, with opinions amongst Pennsylvanians nearly evenly split on the issue of a constitutional same-sex marriage ban.

To amend the Pennsylvania Constitution, both chambers of the state legislature would have to pass Eichelberger’s so-called Marriage Protection Amendment in two consecutive sessions before the question could be put to the states voters.

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1/29/2010- by Natasia Langfelder

Rosie O’Donnell is doing the media rounds as she promotes her new HBO special, “A Family is a Family is a Family: A Rosie O’Donnell Celebration.” She first made headlines, at least during promotions for her HBO special, when she announced on Oprah that lesbians can stay better friends after breakups than heterosexuals. Now, she is talking to LocateTV, with her son, Parker, by her side.

O’Donnell admits that she is not looking for a full time position on TV. Her family is her first priority. The interview shows a different side of O’Donnell, who is frequently over exposed. O’Donnell and her son show a genuine affection for each other and come off as very down to earth, despite their wealth and stardom. Parker says of his mother:  

LOCATETV: What’s your relationship with your mom? Does she know as much as maybe you thought she did a few years ago? (laughter) How do you guys get along?

PARKER: I’m going to get in trouble.

ROSIE: No, take it. Say the truth.

LOCATETV: Be honest now. (laughter)

PARKER: Well, me and mom have been close probably, yeah, since I was born. (laughter) Yeah. So I would probably say I talk to her a lot about a lot of stuff that’s going on. And she probably knows most of the stuff that she needs to know. (laughter)

 If you are interested in Rosie (not all of us are) you can read the rest of the interview here:

http://www.locatetv.com/blog/mamas-family-rosie-odonnell-style/

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1/29/10-by Paula Brooks
Yesterday, when asked about his position on equal rights for same sex couples during a town hall meeting in Tampa, President Obama reiterated his support for legislation moving through the House and Senate that extends full domestic benefits to the unmarried partners of gay and lesbian federal employees.

Obama and Vice President Joe Biden were in Tampa Thursday to announce that Florida would receive $1.25 billion in economic stimulus money to help build a high-speed rail line from Tampa to Orlando and to reconnect to Florida voters who are being hard hit by the current economic downturn.

Responding to a University of Tampa students question about gay rights, Obama said he hopes Congress passes the legislation this year that will give full domestic benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees…

I think that we’ve got to — we actually have an opportunity of passing a law that’s been introduced in Congress right now, and my hope is this year we can get it done, just for federal employees and federal workers. A lot of companies, on their own, some of the best-run companies have adopted these same practices. I think it’s the right thing to do and it makes sense for us to take a leadership role in ensuring that people are treated the same.
Look, if you are — regardless of your personal opinions, the notion that somebody who’s working really hard for 30 years can’t take their death benefits and transfer them to the person that they love the most in the world and who has supported them all their lives, that just doesn’t seem fair. It doesn’t seem right. And I think it’s the right thing to do.

In June, Obama signed a memorandum extending some federal benefits to same-sex partners of federal workers, however that measure did not cover health care and retirement benefits.

At that time he also voiced his opposition to the Defense of Marriage Act, saying he thought, “It’s discriminatory, it interferes with States’ rights, and it’s time we overturned it,” and stated his full support for, The Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act, a bill by introduced Rep. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.) that would extend full partner benefits to gay and lesbian federal employees, giving them same access as employees with different-sex spouses.

However, the Obama Office of Personnel Management last year also ignored a directive by Ninth Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals Chief Judge Alex Kozinski to give spousal benefits to a lesbian court employee and is presently being sued by the LGBT advocacy group Lamda Legal on behalf of that employee.

Versions of Baldwin’s bill have cleared House and Senate committees, but to date, neither has scheduled a vote on the measure.

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By, Melanie Nathan, January 28, 2010. Janet Jenkins, mother of Isabelle made her first TV appearance on Nightline today, since the abduction of her daughter by the non-custodial mother, Lisa Miller. Lezgetreal’s Bridgette P. LaVictoire has been covering this story and there are many related posts on Lezgetreal to refer to for the chronology of events and fact pertaining to the bitter custody battle between the two mothers.

Miller had withheld Isabella from seeing Jenkins, disregarding the Court ordered visitation. The child, born of the Civil Union between the moms, has been registered as a missing child with the National Center for Missing Children since Miller failed to show up for a handing over of custody.

“ All I want,” says Jenkins, “is a healthy relationship with my child. You don’t just drop a parent and walk away. I believe the church is involved in hiding her. It is barbaric to suggest that 2 moms can’t raise child”

They split when Isabella was 17 months old. Lisa Miller went to Virginia, and the moms entered into an amicable custody plan, with Jenkins driving 8 hour journeys to be with Isabella over weekend. Lisa became an ex-gay born again, and suddenly Jenkins was a sinner.

For the first time we were able to see the authenticity (not that I ever doubted it) of Jenkins’ side, through her expressions of longing and resolve. Janet Jenkins has been through hell and one can only imagine what the child has suffered.

Let us start with the day that Lisa Miller, born again Christian ex-lesbian, embraced and towed at the nose by the remnants of Jerry Farwell via Liberty Church, et al – decided that the other mother, Jenkins was no longer worthy and in Jenkins words “Suddenly I was a sinner.” “She made Isabella call me by my first name instead of mommy.”

With Christian supporting groups claiming that Miller is the perfect mother, what decent parent would subject their own child to a sudden removal, which a child perceives as abandonment, from a parent the child has known and loved from the day the child was born. The child felt pain at that parting- what kind of mother allows that to happen? Based on that alone, Jenkins deserves her custody and the child deserves a rational parent who does not place her need above that of the child.

After hearing Janet Jenkins speak and seeing the Videos on TV, I became more entrenched in my stance, that Miller is not a worthy parent – and that is how the Courts see such severe cases of parental alienation as well – that is why the Courts are perfectly correct to take the child and give her to the one parent that probably would never have alienated the child from the other.

Lisa Miller has got what she deserved. But Isabelle must suffer a loss yet again – simply because of the incompetency of her mother to acknowledge the orders of the Court. The injustice and deprivation of the relationship between Isabella and her mother cannot be rewarded in any way. That is why Miller has lost custody. Biology does not factor in here. These moms had an established relationship and decided to inseminate together.

Any reader who has gone through this process, as a non-bio mom in a lesbian couple knows what an intense process it is and the leap of faith in is to allow the other mother to carry the child, may not seem as such at the time, when in good faith and love it is procure as a act for both parents. But in all cases both lesbian moms really want their baby and trust in the shared parenthood. To simply decide that a mother is not a mother anymore is absolutely heart wrenching and unconscionable on every level.

“I am looking for my daughter and whenever the phone rings I expect it is someone telling me where she is at.” She reminisced that having the baby was “the best high in the world,” as a picture of her beaming face next to the newly born Isabella came up on the screen.

Judge Cohen, Vermont Superior Court in Rutland, has given Lisa until 2/23 to return the child or she could be arrested for contempt. Jenkins is seriously concerned for Isabella’s well being, remarking, “ Lisa is dangerous, vulnerable and desperate and capable of anything.”

“I will not give up,” said Jenkins and Isabella will come home – her room and Christmas gifts are here waiting for her.”

Anyone with information regarding Isabella’s and Lisa’s whereabouts is asked to call the Center for Missing and Exploited Children at 1-800-843-5678 or the Bedford County Sheriff’s Office at 540-586-4800.

By Melanie Nathan
Nathan@privatecourts.com
www.privatecourts.com

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1/24/2010-by Natasia Langfelder

Julianne Moore is straight. She is married to director Bart Freundlich and they have two children together, a boy and a girl. However, Moore has never shied away from taking on unconventional roles, roles that perhaps most straight actresses wouldn’t want to take on.  Moore first made it onto my radar when I read a quote from the actress saying that she was hungry all the time.  It’s rare for an actress to admit, with that type of honesty, that she has to make that kind of sacrifice to be able to practice her craft. Moore first made it onto the LGBT radar when she starred in The Hours (2002), alongside Nicole Kidman and Meryl Streep, as a closeted 50’s housewife who goes on to leave her husband and child in order to stay true to her identity.  Moore’s performance was as beautiful as it was heart-wrenching and she was nominated for her work in the film by both the Screen Actors Guild and the Academy.

Moore is getting a lot of buzz for her recent choices in roles in two soon to be released movies. The film “Chloe” stars Moore and Amanda Seyfried (Momma Mia, Mean Girls) as a wife who pays an escort to seduce her husband and said escort, respectively.  Recently, screen shots of the movie have surfaced showing that Seyfried’s character, at the very least, kisses Moore’s character. At first blush, the plot of Chloe sounds more suited to the playboy channel than in the repertoire of an academy award winning actress. But so does the plot of Boogie Nights, a film that earned Moore nominations from the Golden Globes, Screen Actors Guild and the Academy.  The LBQ audience has to trust that Moore would not take this role unless it depicted the community in an honest light, if not in the most flattering light.

Moore will be starring as a lesbian parent, alongside Annette Benning, in the film “The Kids are Alright.”  The film centers around two lesbian parents who conceived their two children through artificial insemination with sperm purchased from a sperm bank. When the children want their biological father brought into the picture, complications arise for the family. The movie was recently shown at the Sundance Film Festival.  

Moore’s three LBQ roles could not be more diverse and truly do represent the diversity among women who love women. Moore’s stable background as a heterosexual wife and mother combined with her prolific on-screen roles and artistic consistency in her acting, probably helps to account for her sustained popularity among straight audiences as well as gay. However, if this stability helps her to explore and break new ground in queer films, it proves her commitment to the LGBT community and to visibility for an often overlooked group of people.

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1/24/10-by Melanie Nathan

ROSIE O'DONNELL- CREDIT: ABC/ DONNA SVENNEVIK

What is a family? Sometimes it’s a mom and dad and their kids. Or it might be kids with just a mom or dad. Or it could be kids who have more than one mom or dad. While the answer varies, all families share one vital ingredient: love.

A FAMILY IS A FAMILY IS A FAMILY, A ROSIE O’DONNELL Documentary set to premier on HBO JAN. 31 (7:00-7:40 p.m. ET/PT), is a moving portrait of the remarkable diversity of families today that challenges stereotypes, highlighting same-sex parents, mixed-heritage families, single parents and stories of adoption. Children speak from the heart about parents, siblings, marriage and love in the exclusive documentary.

In the special, Rosie O’Donnell also talks with her daughter Vivienne Rose about how their family which includes sister Chelsea, brothers Parker and Blake and parents Rosie and Kelli came about. Following her recent separation from Kelli, O’Donnell reaffirms the importance of family in a talk with Vivienne Rose, saying, “Even though Mommy Kelli and I aren’t living in the same house anymore, we’re still a family. Family is forever. And family is love.”

In A FAMILY IS A FAMILY, kids offer touching, profound and often funny insights about what being a family means to them. Among those featured are: children with two fathers or two mothers; a girl whose mother and father adopted her in China; three brothers who live with their mother and grandmother; a pair of mothers who are getting married to make one big family; and families with adopted kids and children born through in-vitro fertilization.

Interspersed with these portraits are musical performances and animated interludes, including: reggae star Ziggy Marley, his mother Rita Marley and sister Cedella Marley performing “I Love You Too”; four-year-old Najorae and her father singing their original song “Love Is the Thing;” 11-year-old Martin and his seven brothers and sisters performing “Cario (My Love),” nine-year-old Joey singing “Raised on Love,” a song he wrote with his mom and dad; and folk musician Elizabeth Mitchell performing “Blue Clouds” with husband Daniel Littleton and seven-year-old daughter Storey.

O’Donnell’s tongue-in-cheek performance of “My Science Project” tells the animated story of a young girl whose class project describes the scientific way she came to be. And Frank Sinatra’s rendition of “Too Marvelous for Words” is accompanied by an animated sequence of a sperm in top hat serenading a glamorous egg.

The soundtrack of A FAMILY IS A FAMILY IS A FAMILY also includes original songs written for the special, among them: “And Mom and Kid,” by They Might Be Giants, “My Family,” by Sweet Honey in the Rock and “A New Generation (Conner’s Theme),” by Charles Strouse. In addition to “Too Marvelous for Words,” classic recordings featured are “Baby Mine,” sung by Bonnie Raitt and Was (Not Was) and “A Bushel and a Peck,” performed by Doris Day.

A FAMILY IS A FAMILY IS A FAMILY is directed and produced by Amy Schatz, whose credits include such award-winning HBO family productions as the “Classical Baby” series and the special “Goodnight Moon & Other Sleepy time Tales.” Some of the recordings are brought to animated life by Emmy(R)-winning animator Maciek Albrecht, whose previous HBO credits include the “Classical Baby” series and numerous other productions.

A FAMILY IS A FAMILY IS A FAMILY: A ROSIE O’DONNELL CELEBRATION is executive produced by Rosie O’Donnell and Sheila Nevins for HBO Documentary Films; directed and produced by Amy Schatz; produced by Beth Aala and Sabina Barach; edited by Tom Patterson; directors of photography, Alex Rappoport and Joel Shapiro; animation by Maciek Albrecht; music supervisor, Linda Cohen; production executive, Susan Benaroya; supervising producer, Jacqueline Glover.

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1/22/10-by Paula Brooks
This week a bill that would recognize same-sex marriages from other jurisdictions as equivalent to Washington’s state-registered domestic partnerships passed Washington’s House Judiciary Committee and has been forwarded on to that states House Rules Committee, which will decide whether the bill with be placed on the state house floor calendar for a second reading.

While same-sex marriage is still not recognized or valid in Washington, and state statute forbids marriage except between one man and one woman, Washington’s voters overwhelmingly approved an Everything but Marriage domestic partnerships law in the last years General Election, which gave all domestic partners the same rights as marriage, except the title of marriage.

That law went into effect last month.

According to the bills sponsor Rep. Jamie Pedersen (D-43) who was also one one of the key movers of the Everything but Marriage law….

“There is very little question that we would have enough votes to pass it in the house.” As to whether or not it will survive in the state senate, Pedersen added, “There isn’t any point in passing it out of the house if it can’t pass in the senate.” (via the Slog.)

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1/22/10-by Paula Brooks
The Illinois gay rights advocacy group, Equality Illinois, has renewed its effort to pass Civil Union legislation in the Land of Lincoln.

Last year, the same bill, called the Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Union Act, that would have extended state-law protections and responsibilities currently limited to married couples to all committed couples in Illinois, passed out of a House committee but never allowed to come to a full vote in the Illinois General Assembly.

Under the Act, civil unions would be available to same-sex or opposite-sex adult couples and would provide couples the rights they need late in life, such as hospital visitation, emergency medical decision-making, shared nursing home rooms, and control over funeral arrangements.

The bill would also provide protections for Illinois churches, synagogues and mosques and expressly says that:

Nothing in this Act shall interfere with or regulate the religious practice of any religious body. Any religious body, Indian Nation or Tribe or Native Group is free to choose whether or not to solemnize or officiate a civil union…. (via Equality Illinois.)

Equality Illinois is saying it is confident that the bill can get the necessary votes for passage this year and is working with a range of community, civil rights, religious and civic organizations to shore up support.

“Real Illinois families need protections now,” said Rick Garcia Equality Illinois director of Public Policy. “This bill will give them some of the basic protections they need.”

Said the bills House sponsor, Illinois State Representative Greg Harris (D-Chicago)….

“I continue to lobby my legislative colleagues on civil unions and marriage equality, who have one eye on the financial melt-down of the State budget and their other eye on their upcoming re-election campaigns… “We have a lot of work to do but we are moving forward in a steady way.”

Harris added, “This bill asks for no special rights, only to grant all families access to what most families are given automatically under the law.” ….via (Vital VOICE Magazine.)

Full Text Illinois Civil Union Bill pdf

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SAN FRANCISCO.   — Melanie Nathan in Marin County tonight –

We have previously reported on today’s highly controversial witness, one Hak-Shing  William Tam.  Tam was called as a Plaintiff (hostile)  witness to reveal his connection to the Prop 8 Campaign.  Although a Prop 8 proponent, Mr. Tam has turned out to be the thorn in the tuchus of the Prop 8 Defendants’ – their worst nightmare.  

Tam had already been deposed and so could not escape having to testify, allowing attorney David Boies to successfully elucidated the explicit craziness of this man’s assertions.

He was repeatedly exposed on his hostile views toward gays and lesbians and their fundamental rights.    Prop 8 was on the ballot as a response to the Court ruling that gays and lesbians have a basic right to marry.  The Plaintiffs’ lawyers consider Tam’s brutal standpoint on same-sex marriage important to proving that Proposition 8 was fueled by hostility and animus toward gays and lesbians, providing reason to give them greater protection under the U.S. Constitution.  Tam could do all but  prove that bias toward gays fueled the campaign to pass the measure.

Tam testified he equated same-sex marriage to pedophilia, polygamy and legalizing sex with children, and that California would fall into the “hands of Satan” if same-sex couples could wed. It is no wonder the 8 campaign tried to dispel this witness as irrelevant. However the Prop8’ers could not escape the trap – the connection to their campaign was inextricable proven, through powerful evidence.

Today Tam’s seat was hot – if he did not repeat what he had stated in his deposition he could be impeached and face perjury. 

Imagine, the Prop 8 proponents are distancing themselves from the very type of antagonism that was specifically used to incite Yes on 8 Voters and that was used to attract millions of dollars through out of State Churches.   It is clear to us out here living Prop 8 that this alienating language was simply ‘par for their course.’ We all heard it, saw it and felt it; the ads, the comments on BLOGS,  to the flyers, and so on.  Yet now they grovel behind their own assertions because in truth it is now ‘nipping them in the tuchus.’

Today was a huge victory for plaintiffs when this man was compelled to repeat and admit his hateful verbiage.  Even the lack of in court cameras will not stand in the way of our reporting – texting live – blogging,  as we expose him to America anyway.    More satisfying is that there is simply no way that the Defense can get around it. The connection has been made.

Proposition 8 lawyer, Nicole Moss, through her questions, failed to distance the campaign from Tam’s statements, when they tried to depict him as going rogue with his statements about gays and lesbians without the consent of Proposition 8 campaign officials.

So as the feeble and fearful Prop 8 campaign tries, in vain, to wriggle themselves free of Tam,   this man is clearly who he is – a leading proponent of Proposition 8 and they simply cannot detach him from the campaign.   Boies showed that Tam was inextricably linked to the campaign, showing e-mails in which he regularly communicated with ProtectMarriage.com officials and evidence Tam mobilized the Asian community and organized rallies against same-sex marriage.

Even if the connection had not been made by direct evidence – it is very difficult to separate a campaign from the speakers that show up with the megaphones – so to speak – they take on the tone, the attitude and the purpose of the campaign. When a guy like TAM shows up to shout and you give him a cup of coffee – he is part of your campaign.  A campaign that fails to distance itself at the relevant time, tacitly endorses the message.

So as TAM found himself on trial today, together with the rest of the Prop 8 supporters, I am able to make a shift in my own thinking.   For a while I thought it was us on trial, the LGBT community – but instead I am now taking a different stand – through the words of TAM I believe that the entire religious right-bigot-wingers are on trial.   It is them – not us – they are on trial for their despicable detestation – they are being exposed and America will be the Judge. 

So when TAM lies and says  ”I was acting independently,” on the stand – he is committing perjury as his words fly in the face of the evidence proving otherwise. Tam said the statements he made were not approved by ProtectMarriage.com and Proposition 8’s leadership.  However, we all know better than that; we know that they ‘rah-rah’ed’ behind each other with the very specific intent to rob us of our rights, whether through act or omission they got what they wanted.  Then! Now? Now it is our turn. 

Sourced – Howard Mintz, Mercury News. Great work Howard thanks.

Melanie Nathan LGBT ADvocate /Activist

By Melanie Nathan. nathan@privatecourts.com

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1/20/10-by Paula Brooks
Despite the fact that lawmakers in neighboring Ohio and Michigan have recently proposed legislation that would repeal their anti-marriage equality amendments, a constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage has won the endorsement of The Indiana Senate Judiciary Committee has voted in favor of sending an anti-gay marriage amendment to the full Senate in a 6 to 4 vote.

Hoosier law already prohibits same-sex marriage, but anti-gay forces in that state say they worry marriage equality advocates could challenge that law in the courts. The amendment would also seek to ban civil unions for Hoosier same-sex couples in the state.

James Bopp, a prominent Terre Haute anti-gay attorney, who is also involved in several high-profile anti-gay cases, including a California lawsuit aimed at protecting the identities of donors to anti-gay campaigns helped draft the amendment.

The amendment is now eligible for a full vote on the Senate floor where it’s expected to pass as the Indiana State Senate has an overwhelming majority of Republicans. However, both chambers of the Assembly need to approve the resolution twice before the states voters can weigh in on the issue.

“The Marriage Discrimination Amendment violates every Hoosier’s basic right to fairness and equality,” Randy Studt, president of the gay rights group Indiana Equality, said in a statement. “It’s just an attempt to distract Hoosiers from the greater issues facing Indiana, threatening our state’s current and future economic development.”

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San Francisco Posted by Melanie Nathan and reported by Gregg Cassin – (by Blackberry) Gregg is reporting from the court Room – I have kept the words as I have received them. This is a very moving and heart wrenching day. Thanks to the witness and his courage. here at LGR- we hope the Whitehouse is listening to the way we are treated in this country.   He must do more to undo the harm bestowed on our community by the allowances given the riligious right during the BUSH administration.  It is NOT only about economic, medical insurance and  foreign policy mess – its about the invalidity of an American Minority.  If President Obama issues an executive Order NOW for the repeal of DOMA – this would all change………. 

“i am here listeing to the testimony of a gay man and his coming out story to his parents.  and how they forced hi m as a child into reparative therapy…to avoid burning in hell forever……

this is in a courtroom in sf ca today.  the future of gay peoples lives ……..

The power of this testimony ws through tears.  every word spoken through tears.  the silence in the courtroom , the shaking of heads and the occasional sniffle as people listened.  we sat witnessing  a version of what so many of us went through.  the fear of being an outcaste, being disowned by those you rely on.

 his testimony …

my mother and father sent me to this center to change me from gay ….and i lived there from 14-16 yo.  when i would come home for a visit my mother would scream at me and tell me i was going to hell, that she wished she had had an abortion. that she wished that i had been retarded, with downes syndrome. she wished and told me…that i was dead.

in orde to survive i surrendered my self to childres protective services…. at 16.

they began a case of neglect against my parents

i gave up all that i had…alone at 16.

now we re listening to an expert social scientist…..

talking abtthe messages the gay community gets every day by society politics etc…..

example  how obama states that he is a fierce ally yet has taken no steps to promote the rights of gay/les people yet.

that a senator can compare homosexuality to bestiality and have it heard by a nation and the media and no outcries of injustice, prejudice, etc…..

that studies show that no class of people except undoc aliens (a distant second) has had more legislation directed towards them

We are looking at article that speaks of a conference call of 1700(!!!) MINISTERS, PREACHERS, CHURCH-LEADERS….to design a concerted effort to pass prop 8.  they are trying to establish the powerlessness of a class of peoople.  to have churches joining together to deny an entire class of people their  civil rights. (Referring to the Mahattan declaration)
 

Thanks to

Gregg

Gregg Cassin  

AIDS,Medicine & Miracles

“…life-changing empowerment programs for ALL people affected by HIV/AIDS…”

www.aidsmedicineandmiracles.org

For his extraordinary and unique reporting – for Melanie Nathan. 

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Melanie Nathan -   SAN FRANCISCO — Today’s testimony was emotional and gratifying to those of us who sometimes feel that a Republican is a Republican and that means a lock-stepper unable to  transcend  anti gay marriage posturing even for an understanding of the importance of equality and how prop 8 impacts the future of our  Constitution.

Tuesday’s testimony from San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders in the Proposition 8 trial was just what the doctor ordered – in the midst of a trial that if there be more such people, would  not ever have had to happen at all.  This conservative Republican described his transformation from a gay marriage opponent to vocal critic of inequality.

However to the indecently locked Andrew Pugno, counsel for Prop8, said Sander’s testimony is “irrelevant.”  Lest we forget the godmother of hate, NOM  anti marriage proponent Maggie Gallagher believes that Mayor Jerry Sanders is letting his family cloud his values and his formerly anti-gay judgment.   ”Politicians are not elected to advance the views and values of their families ” said Mrs. Maggie. If that is not the single most hypocritical statement I have evr heard. I wish they would put her in the witness stand on that doozy. Imagine I thought Prop 8 was constructed specifically to protect Pugno and Gallagher families – Just happened that they got a few million into a fervor using the solicited millions from an out of State  church.

Sanders’ testimony came as the plaintiffs are nearing the end of their case testimony in their attempt to over turn Prop8.  Bois and Olsen  for the Plaintiffs  seeking the right to marry are expected to wrap up their case either today or Friday, with testimony from Prop. 8 backer William Tam still to come.

The trial, now in its second week, has been heavy on experts and academics on the subject of same-sex marriage, but has been spiced all along with the accounts of individuals such as Sanders, who tearfully recounted how he renounced his own stance on gay marriage after learning his daughter is a lesbian.   Outside the Court today Sanders hugged his daughter and daughter-in-law, stating how proud he was of them both and what a fabulous couples they make. He said that he and his wife have found them to be a very positive influence in their family.

by Melanie Nathan  – nathan@privatecourts.com

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 By Melanie Nathan , San Francisco – 1/16/2010  – Prop 8 this week yielded first-person accounts from gays and lesbians who told of discrimination against their relationships. Helen Zia was one such witness and her emotional testimony hit the mark. I met Helen Zia, a San Francisco-based writer who married her partner, Lia, in 2008, last year when we both participated in a conference about binational LGBT immigration. The speakers included Dennis Herrera, San Francisco City Attorney and Shirley Tan, my client.  Helen moderated the seminar. She is a motivating and inspiring speaker and modest considering her astounding career and accomplishments.

This week as aggressive and insulting as the questioning from Proposition 8’s defense team was, there could not have been a better role model representing our interests through her emotional and convincing testimony.

Helen Zia was born in New Jersey to first generation immigrants from Shanghai. She was a member of the first graduating class of women at Princeton University. As a student, Zia was among the founders of the Asian American Students Association. She was also a vocal anti-war activist, voicing her Opposition to U.S. involvement in the Vietnam War, and a firm believer in feminism. She was also well known for organizing the Asian American protests at the time of the racially motivated Vincent Chin murder.

Cover via Amazon

She is the author of Asian American Dreams: The Emergence of an American People, a finalist for the prestigious Kiriyama Pacific Rim Book Prize. President of the United States Bill Clinton quoted from Asian American Dreams at two separate speeches in the White House Rose Garden. 

Asian American Dreams is a dramatic and in-depth study, analyzing sociological and psychological forces affecting the course of Asian Americans in the context of historical events in the US; a superb portrayal of the political history of Asians in American society. Beginning with the1870’s and continuing up to the 1990’s, Asian American Dreams provides case studies on many of the major political events of the last century affecting Asian Americans. I was riveted when I read the book and learned so much in a context that I may otherwise never have experienced. I highly recommend it.

Zia is former Executive Editor of Ms. Magazine. Her articles, essays and reviews have appeared in numerous publications, books and anthologies. She was named one of the most influential Asian Americans of the decade by A. Magazine. She left Ms. to come to San Francisco to be with her spouse, Lia Shigemura.

 Zia has received numerous journalism awards for her ground-breaking stories; her investigation of date rape at the University of Michigan led to campus demonstrations and an overhaul of its policies, while her research on women who join neo-Nazi and white supremacist organizations provoked new thinking on the relationship between race and gender violence in hate crimes.

Zia received an honorary Doctor of Laws degree from the Law School of the City University of New York for bringing important matters of law and civil rights into public view.

Now with Helen’s testimony for the plaintiffs at this trial on the constitutionality of Proposition 8 in California(Perry et. al. v. Schwarzenegger and Brown) — which banned same-sex marriage in the state after the California Supreme Court approved it, Helen Zia has secured her place amongst the greats of the LGBT Equality movement.

More about Helen –  http://www.redroom.com/event/speech-california-state-assembly-recognition-lgbt-pride-month   -A Speech to the California State Assembly. Extended Bio http://www.bookrags.com/biography/helen-zia/

byMelanie Nathan -
www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com /
nathan@privatecourts.com 
@oblogdeeoblogda

Melanie Nathan from San Francisco -
Just when you think you cannot take any more there is some little glimmer of hope.  So maybe it does start with winning hearts and minds?  Or does it start with respect for the constitution?  Perhaps hope starts with one opponent at a time.  But when people like conservative Fox contributor Margaret Hoover tout  marriage equality,  that gets me hopeful.   Would it not be an irony if marriage equality is won via a Republican influenced court  action and not via the Democrats at the top of the current ladder?

That said I highly recommend the Articleby  Margaret Hoover,  “Why I’m Joining the Fight for Marriage Equality”  - FOXNews.com

It starts like this:  “If you are uncomfortable with gay marriage, I encourage you to pay attention to the landmark civil rights trial which began this week in California.

This week a landmark civil rights court case began in California.  The federal trial Perry v. Schwarzenegger challenges the constitutionality of California’s Proposition 8 ban on gay marriage.  Two couples argue that they have a constitutional right to marry, and that California’s law denies them due process and equal protection under the 14th Amendment, relegating them second-class citizens.

You may think, “San Francisco liberals at it again! Hijacking the courts, inventing new constitutional rights!”  Stop there.  The lead counsel in the case is George W. Bush’s Solicitor General, who successfully argued Bush v. Gore before the Supreme Court in one of his fifty-five performances before the nation’s highest judicial body.  He is Theodore “Ted” Olsen, a founder of the Federalist Society, constitutional law expert, and one of the most respected conservatives in America.  

Mr. Olsen thinks constitutionally guaranteed rights ought to transcend left vs. right, Democrat vs. Republican divides (he even recruited legal opponent David Boies as co-counsel).  I agree with him.  And as a proud Republican representing a younger generation of conservatives that cherish individual freedom, I am honored to join the American Equal Right’s Foundation’s Advisory Board   ………………  “  http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2010/01/15/margaret-hoover-gay-marriage-san-francisco-ted-olsen/

By Melanie Nathan

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by Melanie Nathan, San Francisco;     YOU MAY BE DENIED WHEN YOU REALLY ARE ENTITLED. A MUST READ ARTICLE FOR EVERY LGBT CALIFORNIAN.

       While Proposition 8 is challenged in the current court action, Perry v Schwarzenegger and every LGBT relationship suffers its trial, a new California law became effective on January 1, 2010.  To some extent the Prop 8 case has distracted us and we have ‘awareness’ work to do with the new SB 54 Law. We have reported previously on this law,  however now that it is in effect there are practical hurdles to overcome and we will alert to some important information that will educate and empower.

“SB 54 tracks the decision of the California Supreme Court in Strauss v. Horton, which held that Proposition 8 “carves out a narrow and limited exception to [the] state constitutional rights [of same-sex couples], reserving the official designation of the term ‘marriage’ for the union of opposite-sex couples as a matter of state constitutional law.” 

However Proposition 8 did not invalidate any pre-existing marriages.  Proposition 8 also did not change the court’s previous ruling in the Marriage Cases that the California Constitution prohibits government discrimination based on sexual orientation and requires the state to treat same-sex couples equally under the law. The measure’s only effect was to prevent the state from licensing any new in-state marriages or using the name “marriage” to recognize any out-of-state marriages of same-sex couples entered after Proposition 8 passed.  SB 54 was carefully written to carry out the constitutional mandate that the state provide equal treatment for same-sex couples to the fullest extent allowed within the bounds set by Proposition 8.” http://www.nclrights.org/site/DocServer/SB_54_FAQ.pdf?docID=6641  

There may be new rights in California that impact you, directly.   You may not know it.  It could cover many areas of your legal life, so to speak.

What does this mean for the prop 8 trial; nothing really. The trial is critical and we must win back our fundamental right to marry in California. Prop 8 must be exposed for what it is, and albeit unbearable to listen to or read about, it is clear that the Prop 8 bigots cannot escape the exposure of their injudiciousness and their sinister campaign.  

The new law in effect recognizes marriages (Domestic Partnerships, Civil Unions) from other Jurisdictions outside of California for the purposes of California Law.  The best explanation of the new law, which is to some extent confusing, is found in a PDF online FAQ sheet by NCLR (National Center for Lesbian Rights*) and EQCA who were  involved in the authorship and legislation process itself.

“SB 54, a bill authored by Senator Mark Leno and signed into law by Governor Schwarzenegger on October 11, 2009, clarifies the rights of same-sex couples who marry outside of California. SB 54 has two parts:

1 First, it clarifies that couples who married outside of California before November 5, 2008, are entitled to full recognition as married couples in this state.

2. Second, it ensures that couples who get married outside of California on or after November 5, 2008, will receive all of the rights, benefits, and responsibilities of marriage except for the name “marriage.””

This valuable link provides answers to some common questions about the rights of same-sex couples who marry outside the state:

http://www.nclrights.org/site/DocServer/SB_54_FAQ.pdf?docID=6641

This new law has far reaching effect and it is critical that one understand how it can impact one’s particular circumstances.

From what I am seeing on the field and in the California real life trenches, it seems that many employers and officials have failed to reflect the changes in their respective policies, including informing staff in the hierarchy of changes.  Employers must provide their employees with the tools and education to treat people equally. An employee in a same sex marriage should be treated 100% in the same way as an employee in a different gender marriage.  They should not receive raised eyebrows if they merely ask for a form, or assistance in making inquiries into their benefits.   

In fact at this early time of SB 54’s inception, people seeking to obtain benefits there under may well find themselves either rejected or being misled.  These cases are actually already starting to  present themselves.

The ideal situation for an employer would be to check with an attorney before denying an employer, or for a landlord to check with a Fair Housing Group before denying a tenant.

I am alerting and encouraging our community not to take ‘no’ for an answer when discouraged by employers, pension plan administrators, banks, colleges landlords, hospitals or any authority who may either have no understanding of the new law or who may be purposely leading you away from your rights. This is already happening.  My suggestion is to consult an attorney or  a local agency with expertise in the issue at hand.  

If you are refused a form or turned away from any benefit or right to which you believe you may be entitled, please contact someone on the list. I recommend contacting NCLR and LAMBDA legal and they will explain the law to you, help you understand your rights and either assist you directly or refer you to the appropriate agency that can help.

Why is it important to contact NCLR or LAMBDA Legal?

1. You are entitled to your rights – and you must ask for them. No one is going to come up to you and tell you about a new law; it will not be handed to you. The law is there for you – if you qualify under the law, you may find that your marriage (or civil unionor DP)  is recognized in California and that your spouse is entitled to be on your medical insurance, pension plan,  lease, etc. in circumstances where you may not otherwise have thought possible.  Imagine yourself as a heterosexual spouse/partner and act in relationsh to your rights accordingly.  Basic but true – even a straight person has to ask for his/her benefits.

2. If all those who experience resistance or denials from benefit providers or administrators report their experience, it will help the LGBT groups identify patterns and systemic problems and this will provide the valuable information needed to target and help educate business, pension plans and small or large business employers and those who fail to amend /update their policy and procedures - to be fully inclusive.

3. It is important not be intimidated by authority – not to be misled into thinking that they have figured out SB 54. Do not presume anyone to be organized to handle the sudden influx of same-sex partners requesting implementation of their rights.  If you work for the County, the State, the City or  a Town – the likelihood is that they are not yet prepared for the changes and that they may not even know what these are.

Always insist on receiving the forms that you believe you are entitled to fill in.  If you receive any resistance, be sure to ask for what you need in writing,  keep all e-mails and related correspondence and call a resource.

It is imperative not to accept the word of a desk employee who is not trained, nor well versed with the law.  It is your responsibility to look elsewhere for your answers.  You may also find that some are simply prejudiced and cannot fathom your entitlement. 

SO here is an example.  Imagine if the guy who wrote this piece below, a blog post ( which I am quoting in red  below) also happens to be the person who will decide if your spouse can get onto your lease agreement or if this were the person who sat at the pension desk:

“This is the BLOG of one Randy Thomasson of - 

“What’s going on with the new attack on man-woman marriage? We all remember Prop. 8, which created Article 1, Section 7.5 in the California Constitution, reading, “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” And we all know that the written Constitution is the highest law of the land, higher than the California Supreme Court, higher than the Governor, and higher than the State Legislature.The problem is, since the California Supreme Court already undermined Prop. 8 by validating some 18,000 homosexual “marriages,” the Democrat-controlled California Legislature is now trying to neutralize Prop. 8 even further. SB 54, authored by homosexual activist and Democrat state senator Mark Leno, would violate the clear reading of the Constitution by recognizing pre-Prop. 8 homosexual “marriages” from other states and nations — Massachusetts, Belgium, Canada, Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Spain and Sweden — as fully-valid “marriages” in California.”

Thomasson continues in his anti-gay rhetoric and concludes

 “You and your friends must resist this corrupt violation of the California Constitution!”

So there are people out there who believe this and who may heed the call to “resist.”  If that is the type you have to face when seeking assistance for your rights, you had best know your rights or where to go if you do not.  Bottom line: accept no “no’s.”  Get help.

No one has the legal right to resist what is law and personal judgments are simply inacceptable. We all have our part to do in educating our community.     

For attorneys advising clients who have related disputes, my suggestion is that you too contact NCLR or LAMBDA Legal for clarity.  This will also help isolate the problems and forge education campaigns leading to amendments to policy in the individual, public and private sectors.  You may well find that given the choice the LGBT client may choose education and policy change over legal action or as a concomitant of settlement; and therein lies the value to the community as a whole.  

By way of introduction: *  From the Website of  the National Center for Lesbian Rights: “The audacity to fight for justice. The perseverance to win.”

“In 1977, two brave and determined women—fresh out of law school and eager to make a difference—decided to put their knowledge to good use. As legal scholars, Donna Hitchens and Roberta Achtenberg saw the courtroom as a way to change the world. As lesbians, they had experienced frustrations and fears—both personal and professional—and didn’t want others to suffer the same. And as future parents, they knew they would face even more challenges ahead.”

The National Center for Lesbian Rights is a national legal organization committed to advancing the civil and human rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people and their families through litigation, public policy advocacy, and public education.

NCLR is a non-profit, public interest law firm which litigates precedent-setting cases at the trial and appellate court levels; advocates for equitable public policies affecting the LGBT community; provides free legal assistance to LGBT people and their legal advocates; and conducts community education on LGBT legal issues.

They serve more than 5,000 lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people and their families in all fifty states each year, including LGBT seniors, immigrants, athletes, and youth. And our impact litigation serves all LGBT people in the United States.

 Further Resources: Post will be updated to include a list of fair housing groups, legal aid groups and more. Questions / regarding re-publishing – please contact Melanie at Nathan@privatecourts.com

Written by:- Melanie Nathan, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a niece, a cousin, an human rights advocate, a mediator, a writer/ an equality activist – Nathan@privatecourts.com www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com  – Twitter: @oblogdeeoblogda  / www.privatecourts.com / www.divorcemediators.com

1/15/10-by Paula Brooks
A Maryland state delegate, Emmett C. Burns Jr., has sponsored legislation that would prohibit that state from recognizing same-sex marriages validated by other states or countries.

The Baltimore County delegate ’s measure would also declare that marriages between individuals of the same sex are against the public policy of the state of Maryland.

In recent sessions of the Maryland General Assembly, legislators opposed to same-sex marriage have have also attempted, without success, to enact an amendment to the state constitution that would prohibit same-sex marriage regardless of the outcome of the lawsuit. The House of Delegates Judiciary Committee has, in the past, rejected those efforts and prevented any of the bills from going to the Maryland House floor for debate.

Currently Maryland does not recognize same-sex marriage, but does permit a limited form of domestic partnership in the state.

Maryland Attorney General Doug Gansler is also presently drafting an advisory opinion on whether Maryland is legally required to recognize same-sex marriages lawfully performed in other jurisdictions and counties.

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Architect of Prop 8

By Melanie Nathan  – 7.50 PM 1/13/10
Asking the Questions – oblogdeeoblogda - Readers of Lezgetreal Unite!    

This is the “Tweet at Two:  Proposition 8 = Church vs. Civil Rights”

Tweet twitter ask them to trend the PROP 8 TRIAL-  The more who tweet sites from Prop 8 trial the more chance it goes higher on trending.  

Not that I purport to really understand this, but we need Proposition 8’s trial to get more mainstream exposure. The LGBT community is outraged that The Supreme Court has blocked the frivolity, the recklessness, the hate and the constitutional lambasting from public view.  

Excuse my colloquialisms; all because a miserable group of cowardly defendant witnesses (my opinion and maybe yours too) have succeeded in their insidious blackmail – threats to not testify for fear of retaliation.   5-4, the Supreme Court ruled that Judge Walker was wrong to allow cameras.  The Court in effect will not allow the world and the US to see this, a trial about constitutional rights.  It must be seen by America and the World.  

It does my heart some good to think that at least 4 judges do not agree with the majority and that it is not one little flailing dissenting Judge. To me that speaks volumes, for now! The only positive aspect of this is that there is one less excuse the defendants can make on appeal if they were ever to allege they did not get a fair trial. So it at least takes that out of the equation on this particular issue.    

The good news is that our ever resourceful community has its creative ways and means and we are getting through to tens of thousands of people. Now we need the mainstream media to report the egregious content that is presenting through the evidence, such as the Video today which I have referred to in my earlier post.  

If you were in the Court and saw the evidence and heard the testimony for yourself – you would see why they do not want the rest of the World to see this; because it is damning, insulting, insensitive and offensive.  But there is no good real reason. In essence they are saying they are too afraid to publicly stand behind their assertions.  

I am outraged- How dare they!!  Look at what they have done with their money and manipulation of an entire 50% of voting State. Without their ads and lies, emanating from  a group of zealots whose hate belie their purported religious attributes and barely visible in California,  none of this would have happened.  They stripped all of California from a fundamental basic civil right; an LGBT right to equality under the law – a right to marry.  Worse yet, our children’s right to married parents and all the laws, validation and recognition that goes with it have vanished at the “X” of flippant insensible pens.  

It reminds me of a story my dad told me when I was a child living in apartheid South Africa. This has never left my fore-conscience – in decades. Dad came home from work one day and he was very upset. He said that his friend, Naidoo, who under South Africa’s (then) racial classification laws was classified as an “Indian/colored.”  This was just one category of apartheid categorization.  Naidoo told my dad that he was walking past the  annual Town Fair and that his five year old son pulled on his arm, excitedly, “daddy, daddy,  look, look a  ‘Big Wheel,’ (Ferris) please can I go on like the other kids.”  Naidoo said to my dad “Arthur, how do I explain this to my child?   What reason can I give my child for him not being able to take that ride?” That is how I feel about proposition 8 and our children; our right to marry is the ferris wheel and only some kids are allowed on.  

If you live out of California, this affects you too.  The right wing bigots are using their defense to indict our very existence. They are trying to say we can change –they are trying to say we are not a minority deserving of civil rights- they say we can “change our ways” – (in the argument.) imagine, we do not need to be Gay and Lesbian.  The gay community is unlike the African American population, according to these proponents of Prop 8 African Americans cannot change the color of their skins.  Hence the “Black Civil Rights” movement has validity and the LGBT Civil rights movement does not!  

What I do not get about this crazy argument is the fact that we exist in our relationships, like it or not we are here and we exist; we are a fact of life, our relationships and families are well formed. It cannot be undone.  In essence their argument is demanding that we all break up with our wives, husbands, domestic partners, permanent partners, lovers, etc; pronounced deviant we must reform!  If the court rules for the defense, then the Court will be agreeing with this thinking, at least in its practical expectations.   

The Defense is impeaching gays all over the globe – they are placing our country in International hot water. If citizens from the UK, such as Elton John, want to come into the USA as spouses, in essence they cannot.   This impacts our existence as a country inter connected with other countries through trade, commercial compatibility and more. For example if we outlaw a relationship recognized by a foreign country, then we are saying that if we invite medical professors, scientists, technology experts to come and work in the US, the spouses are not welcome! This plays out in reality, when our immigration laws, together with the arbitrary powers of border point Immigration and customs officials, discriminate against married same-sex spouses.    

The point is that our existence and function as family, partners etc. cannot be rolled into reverse. We cannot– ‘change our ways.’  There is no “way” to change.  It is not only a matter of genetic predisposition – but it is also a matter of de facto existence.  I am not sure if the latter argument is going to be incorporated into the trial, per se, or how it will come across, but to my way of thinking, this is a critical point.   That is why in essence we are ALL on trial.  I believe this to be extremely critical because either way it will end up in the Supreme Court.   

Oh do I ever BEG for the repeal of DOMA!  

Now in my own frustration I ask where are the straight people, where are ALL the gay people and the politicians- where is everyone?  Who cannot stand hearing all this? Why are we not protesting DOMA now!  Are we not sick of this State by State piecemeal stuff? It is costly and time consuming and quite frankly emotionally overwhelming.  

We are all worn out when all we want is parity – fairness, equality and to conduct our lives in peace with an equal chance to pursue our livelihoods and happiness.  

The 19^th floor of the Court Building is a place where one can hear the broadcasting. I recommend that if you can take time off work, to show up there and tweet and face book away, mentioning actual testimony so that the world can see what is going on here and maybe Twitter will in fact trend it.  

I implore – please all participate in showing America and the World that Animus did in fact fuel California Proposition 8’s ban on same-sex marriage.   Our entire community is on trial and each and every one of us MUST do something.   

By Melanie Nathan, Nathan@privatecourts.com/ www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com
Picture- Architect of Prop 8 Looking good in Pink!  

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Posted by Melanie Nathan, San Francisco; 2.15 pm 1/13/10 - Therese Stewart, Chief Deputy City Attorney for San Francisco, spent the morning examining Prof.  Chauncey, witness for the Plaintiff’s case. 

George Chauncey is Professor of History   – and American Studies and chair of LGBT Studies at Yale University.  He is the author of Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940 (1994) and Why Marriage?  Chauncey wrote about LGBT history and studies at a time when there was barely any literature on the subject. Hence there is great value in his experience and research.

The Plaintiffs are trying to show that the LGBT community is a minority community. That is the crux of the case. For Plaintiff to prove LGBT is a minority class and one that has then be targeted.

The Defense attorney Thompson, fought vigorously to hold back a video of one Mr.  Tam, a Prop 8 supporter; fortunately the Judge allowed it into evidence. When watching the video and hearing the words of Tam, we can see why Thompson did not want it into evidence.

In fact Chauncey was not deposed on the Video, yet the Defendant’s counsel had opened up a question that allowed the video to be used in evidence. “Stewart says Thompson opened the door on the subject by trying to argue there are non-bigoted reasons for supporting Prop 8. “ What an explosive piece it turned out to be.   

EXAMPLE – from 
VIDEO-  Per  Tam’s flyer -: “SF city government is under rule of homosexuals.  After legalizing same-sex marriage, they want to legalize prostitution.  What next?”   Tam confirms that he wrote it.  What does gay agenda mean to you, Mr. Tam?  “Do you believe that part of the gay agenda is the legalizing of sex with children?” Yes, says Mr. Tam.  Tam is the Executive Director of the Traditional Families Coalition — which advocated the passage of Prop 8.

Mr. Tam’s columns are published in Chinese Christian Herald.  And he wrote a book called “America, Return to God.”  In these columns, Tam said that “children would benefit the most” if Prop 8 passes, because the children would then have “both sexes” as parents which is “good role models.”  Kids adopted by gay couples (which will happen if Prop 8 fails) do not have “two genders” as parents.  Now, plaintiffs’ attorneys are showing Tam columns he wrote about “parenting.”

Therese Stewart has had her hand in Prop 8 litigation from day one. She is an astounding speaker and advocate. I had the privilege of speaking to her a few nights before the case at the swearing in ceremony of  Dennis Herrera SF City Attorney.  She is reserved and modest. To my way of thinking the entire LGBT community is on trial and let me say one thing – we are in the best hands imaginable.  She exudes confidence.  We decided that we would wait until after the trial for her specific comments. She has agreed to speak to Lezgetreal and we cannot wait. She is featured this Month as Lesbian of the MONTH!

Many thanks to Paul Hogarth and Courage Campaign for your live blogging.  

Posted by Melanie Nathan. nathan@privatecourts.com

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   By  Melanie Nathan  I wrote this some time back and now that at this moment I am following the Plaintiff testimony and the questioning around children.  I truly hope that the Plaintiffs have prepared strong witnesses in that regard.  I vowed to repeat this story as Prop 8 continues its journey and so in light of the questioning I am re-posting this from some months ago, to indicate the insidious nature of Prop 8 and the de  jure failure of our de facto existence.  From What I have heard on Plaintiff’s testimony the answers about impact on Children is somewhat nebulus.  I wish they would put a few kids on that witness stand.

Rick Jacobs Courage Campaign Reporting from the Court:  “They are now playing a Prop. 8 ad. It’s the one about the little girl being allowed to marry a princess. “It’s already happened.”

How does that line, “Protect our Children. Restore Marriage,” make you feel?

What are you protecting them from? Are you protecting them by denying them certain rights? If so, that’s what they are doing. The threats are insulting. They are demonizing us. Why?

(There’s a big back and forth because the Prop. 8 side does not want any of these ads to be aired from the campaign. The Prop. 8 side thinks that not enough notice was given. The judge said that the witness would remain available for another 48 hours in case the good guys cannot prove enough notice was given.)

We’re taking a little break for the Prop. 8 side to chat amongst themselves about the question of when the list of exhibits was made available to them. But what the heck? Do you think they had not seen the ad? They used it all the time in California and then again in Maine. Maybe they should check out their own side’s website.

This is what I wrote:
“The fate of California’s same-sex marriage hangs in the balance, as the Justices prepare their ruling on the challenges to the validity of Proposition 8.

In my house of two married moms, we remain overtly safe from this decision as long as it is not declared invalid retroactively. How will I explain that to my children? If the result is not favorable, I am faced with having to inform my children that gay and lesbians are no longer allowed to marry under the law of this State.

The unfairness of being placed in this bewildering wait triggers memories of the pre-Prop 8 fight and my quest to protect my daughters from the worst pain imaginable “your family is not a family!”

My daughter, HC, is as well adjusted as any child; she has been around the world a few times, hence her sophistication belies her short twelve years. She is engaging and endearing and born to lead. Kind, loving and perceptive, when a toddler she earned the name “little Buddha.”  A keen, astute student, each year she adores her assigned teachers and tends to hold them in the highest esteem. They are her heroes and in turn she is their delight. This is a kid who never wants to miss school. She loves it!

When the California Court first ruled favorably for same-sex marriage we were the first lesbian couple to be married by our Rabbi, at our congregation temple.  My kids had a great time and together with twenty other kids all dressed in white walked down the aisle toward the ‘Chuppah’ in most traditional fashion.  It was a big event for our community and family came from around the world. My children were so invested in the wedding as for them it presented a validation and celebration of our little family of four.

Three months of gay marriage and then enter Proposition 8 together with the egregious advertisements facilitated by the millions of hateful dollars sent from Utah’s Mormon community to California, intent on promoting the proposition that would serve to outlaw same-sex marriage. The very idea of it, least of all a yes vote, served to insult our recently acknowledged family.

About two weeks before the November 2008 election and the impending prop 8 vote, HC and I were driving our route to school. We noticed that overnight what used to be one lone “No on Prop 8” on Central Avenue had morphed into a “NO on 8” at each and every home down our neighborhood’s main street. Later we found out that the lone sign outside the home a lesbian mom, kept getting torn down; day after day she would restore the sign until eventually overnight the entire neighborhood put up the NO sign in support of their neighbor. I remember remarking how amazing it was to see everyone in our midst against prop 8.

As we drove through the reassuring tunnel of “no on 8’s,” our comfort was short lived as we exited the micro and entered the macro – yes that nasty world at large reared its beastly head as amidst our usual morning tussle between Stephanie Miller and Radio Disney, an advertisement popped on the radio.

“……and your children will be forced to learn about homosexuality and gays it will be taught in the schools; ….. your churches will be forced to marry them… blah..”

I glanced at my child and noticed an odd expression on her usually placid face, one which I will not easily forget, and she asked, “Mom I don’t get what is wrong with other kids learning about my type of family?”  I was stunned!  The advertisement had placed a perspective calling for this very question; but why my child? We have lived our lives so openly and relish the good fortunate of our supportive community, where our ‘same-sex-ness’ is the least of our day to day issues.

It was as if HC had received a slap across her face. The advertisement had clearly hurt my child; its viciousness was not something she had been subjected to before. What could be worse than adults lashing out like that at children? It was direct and personal and having heard it before, was not personally outraged as when I realized the irresponsibility and how damaging those lies were to my babies. Now I had to come up with an answer to this ferocious fanaticism. I explained, “Hun, we live in a world where people are often the subject of fear on the part of others and so when they are afraid, usually because of ignorance, they lash out in this way. What you heard on that ad, was unfair and contorted, but that is how the people who are against the idea of same-sex marriage think they can get other people to join their way of thinking.”   I provided more reassurance as best I could.   A few more questions and answers later we arrived at school, and went on with the next two weeks, during which time HC and my four year old accompanied me to various “NO ON 8” rallies; “no on 8, no on 8,” a battle cry still performed by my 4 year old whenever she sees the number 8, whether in the market, at school or in the movies.

So came the vote: The “Yes” win was a shock and a huge upset; I had a lot more explaining to do; “mom is our marriage okay are we still married? (Our marriage is clearly viewed by my kids as a family event!) Then came one of the saddest moments in my life, on the day after the election, when HC came home from school and told me that her class teacher had told the group she had voted for John McCain. Living in Marin County California, I do believe the kids found this quite odd, and I explained we all have the right to vote as we choose. But then she announced, “Mom it is soooo weird Mrs. Ray also told the class that she voted “yes” on Prop 8; but I think she must have been just joking!”  Well long story short, she was not joking – and my child was completely and utterly shattered.  Trying to hide her emotions for the next three weeks, I noticed a big change.  She was not so keen about school. In fact after a week with a substitute teacher she came home devastated that he was leaving. I realized it was less about the loss of the sub teacher and more about Mrs. Ray’s return.

Despite my promise to HC to keep hush, “I flew like a bat out of hell” to see the Principal, who, ironically an “out” lesbian, was not surprised to see me show up on the issue; she mentioned that I was the fourth parent to complain about this lack of discretion on the part of the teacher. I explained that my child was extremely conflicted in trying to reconcile her respect and admiration for her teacher with her love and pride for her family. My child moved classroom and she adores her new teacher.

Fortunately, HC is back to being her happy self, but a deep and profound wound has been inflicted on her free and safe spirit.   If proposition 8 is upheld by the pending judicial decision, (and it was) I truly believe that my child will suffer more emotional harm, through the perceived aberration of her family. It is so unjust and so unfair. Our children do not deserve to be the political pawns of the divisive and fearful bigots and religious right in our country.  We are family values and we are entitled to equality. My children are facts of life and they cannot be relegated to some second class category that diminishes us as a family.  As a Mom I vow to carry on fighting for the sameness my babies, by virtue of their very existence deserve.

I have to show my child that our family is worth fighting for and that anything short of complete equality is simply not good enough.  I think this story illustrates the far reaching effects of de jure disqualification and the de facto reality of inequality. Whether we receive equal rights or not, nothing will derogate from the fact that we are here; us, our wives and our kids and nothing can or will ever change that simple fact.

Until such time as DOMA disappears, Prop 8 ditched- every US State allows gay marriage -our children will be marginalized as my daughter was when her teacher basically told her –‘You are not the same – you are not entitled- you are less than.’

Now that Prop 8 is in effect, the pain continues and my children are impacted. Is it fair to say that a child of a straight relationship is different to a child of a same-sex relationship?  Well essentially that is what the Proposition has done.  I believe the Perry Case should include this type of story in evidence; even if it does not directly relate to the Plaintiffs.    The Defense has been allowed to a defense of future probabilities – or at least that is their defense- that is  their assertion that if gay marriage were allowed it would hurt traditional marriage.  I counter taht argument by saying (If I were Plaintiff)   If Gay marriage is NOT allowed, our children whm we have or are planning on having, will be harmed.    Fight the defnses argument with an ‘equality based argument’ may be a small part of strategy that could help.  

REPORTERS DU JOUR  GOES TO:
1. Rick Jacobs Courage Campaign;
2. Lisa Leff Associated Press. 

Blogged by MELANIE NATHAN, .’ Otherwise blogging as O-blog-dee-o-blog-da. Websites and blogs include: http://www.privatecourts.com; http://www.divorcemediators.com   www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com
Contact Nathan@privatecourts.com

The state government of Sydney, Australia had been considering legislation that would make it possible for the LGBT community to adopt children. There was a parliamential inquiry into the matter that suggested allowing gay adoption would benefit the Australian State of New South Wales, of which Sydney is a part of. Unfortunately the legislation was shot down.

The Minister of Community Services, Linda Burney, has said that the reason the ban was upheld is because, “”There are very deeply held, divergent views on this issue and that is why a decision on this matter will not be taken at this stage.” [The Sydney Morning Herald]

Advocacy groups for same sex marriage in Australia are said to be outraged. Given the flimsy excuse for rejecting the measure, this is not surprising. There are always strongly held beliefs on both sides of any civil rights argument and the reason given by Burney does not address the discrimination faced by Australia’s same-sex couples.  

1/5/10-by Paula Brooks
With the clock ticking on Marriage Equality in New Jersey, yesterday the Garden States Democratically controlled General Assembly Judiciary Committee refused to take up a proposal that would grant legal recognition to same-sex marriages in the state.

The Assembly speaker, Joseph J. Roberts Jr., declined to put it the marriage bill for a vote in Monday’s Judiciary Committee hearing, and said he would allow the Assembly to vote on it only if it first passed the Senate.

In December, New Jersey State Senate leaders postponed, a vote in the full Senate that would have made same-sex marriage legal in that state and said they wanted New Jersey’s Assembly Judiciary Committee to hear the bill first… as of this morning there appear to be no movement to schedule that committee hearing in the Assembly.

As recently as October, Democratic legislative leaders have given assurances to supporters of marriage equality in New Jersey, that the measure would be passed and enacted during the lame-duck session. However, after New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine lost soundly to Republican Chris Christie in November, many legislators who supported the bill now do not want to go on record casting a controversial vote if they fear the measure may be defeated.

While a hearing could be scheduled during this current session, under the rules of the assembly, legislators only have until the session ends Jan. 11 to pass the legislation in both houses or it dies and has to be reintroduced.

Out going the New Jersey Governor has promised he would sign a same-sex marriage bill should it make it to his desk, but his successor, Christie, has vowed he would veto the bill. That position by Christie would make it unlikely that a similar bill would have any chance of becoming New Jersey law, at least as long as Christie is in office

According to the New York Times…

Despite the growing odds against it, however, gay-rights advocates say they are still hopeful that they will win approval before the change of governors.

At a rally on the State House steps Monday afternoon, more than 150 demonstrators voiced equal measures of frustration and resolve, saying that Democratic legislators who had pledged to pass the bill would be held accountable if they reneged on their promises.“Either we will be able to march up the aisle and have marriage equality, or we will march across the aisle and have political independence,” said Steven Goldstein, head of Garden State Equality, which has led the lobbying effort…. via NYTimes.com.

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Second Plea to Lisa Miller
Posted by Melanie Nathan

Lisa, My name is Melanie Nathan and I am indeed a gay rights activist and writer. But at the same time I am a mother and I have compassion for your circumstances. I could not imagine the agony in having to hand over my child to another person, albeit legal parent, with the thought of possibly never having custody again. I believe this can change.

I am also a family law Mediator. Actually the latter is my bread and butter work. I am fair minded when doing my work and have the great talent of trading my activist hat for that of supreme neutral.

That said I am inviting you to contact me. I want to help you come out of hiding to face what is going on. We have about 24 hours before this will go to the next level and I believe if you contact me now or if you prefer the authorities direct, there will be no repercussion on the Friday contempt .

Every minute that goes by, your predicament grows worse. I truly believe that if you use me as a go between I can help negotiate safe passage for you, with Isabella and even more an out of Court agreement as to how to restore balance, so that ultimately Isabella can have you both in her life. I truly believe this can be done. Indeed it will take time, but it is better than ‘doing time,’ which may be the result if there is no intervention now.

I believe that you are indeed a person of strong faith. I admire and respect that. I also however believe that you have fallen prey to a very small part of the faith community that is using you for their own self serving adventure. This has been your downfall through all this.

That said I believe this whole horrible five year thing can be turned around – when there is a child involved especially nothing is impossible. I have learnt that through my many years of experience.

I truly feel for your plight and would be remiss if I did not reach out in this way.

Again I must urge you that from the information I have at hand, the timing is still good for you to make contact and I am willing to broker any contact.

You can contact me at melanie@megilamediation.com my private e-mail.

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Melanie Nathan Posts: -    In October  California Governor Schwarzenegger Signed into Law The Marriage Recognition and Family Protection Ac and today 1/1/10, as it takes effect,  LGBTQ relationships can start to enjoy a measure of validity in California. 

While Prop 8 ‘ers thought we would go away, all that they effectively accomplished was to stop marriages from taking place in the Cities and Counties of California. The impact of this new legislation is to establish equal treatment for same-sex spouses, regardless of where they were legally married or will be in the future. Which means that the end result of Prop 8’s impact is on the economy.  California stood to make millions of dollars and the losers are the businesses.  So whomever of you voted for prop 8, and thought you had taken away our rights, you are dead wrong.   I hope you realize that in essence you lost because we have many places to go and get married. 

 Because now by virtue of this new law which took effect today,  even though we cannot tie the knot in California, if we are married in another State or Country, we will be treated as if we are married once back home in California.

There is nothing stopping us from marrying elsewhere and then coming home where we will now have the much needed protections and will be treated like any other married couple.   Ultimately, however,  we must restor marriage because we deserve and ought to have our equality in headlights, not masked by the rescue of legislation that still sts us a part. Thanks to Mark Leno for his leadership on this Act.

Bill Number: SB 54
This bill would clarify California family law to explicitly recognize marriages of same-sex couples performed out-of-state prior to November 5, 2008. The bill would also explicitly recognize marriages of same-sex couples performed out-of-state after that date as carrying all the same rights and responsibilities that spouses receive although without the designation of marriage.

Posted by Melanie Nathan.
nathan@privatecourts.com

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Debbie Thurman

 Posted by Melanie Nathan, 11.05 p.pm PST  1/1/10

  Lisa Miller, ‘ex-lesbian,’ has fled from her legal obligation to hand her daughter over to the custodial parent Janet Jenkins. She has disappeared with the child and all the while egged on by a very righteous bunch of  Christians who deem their interpretation of the Bible superior to civil law of the United States of America.  See my colleague,  Bridgette P. LaVictoire, Ex-Lesbian” Lisa Miller Fails To Hand Over Custody of Isabella To Janet Jenkins Written on 1 Jan, 2010 at 16:05 

Ex-gay proponent,  disguised as mental health expert, Debbie Thurman, creator of a support group, today cheered the disappearance of Miller sometime earlier this Thurman’s blog called this apparent kidnapping an example of “true motherhood”:

Thurman’s BLOG clearly sought to aid and abet the criminal act of Lisa Miller, spurring her along with prayer () and G-d knows what else,  and now guess what like Miller Thurman’s BLOG has done its own disappearing Act, clear evidence of her assistance and encouragement of the sacrificial lamb Miller,  to commit a crime.

I kept a copy of her website BLOG because I knew that when today came if Miller would fail to hand over the child as ordered by a Vermont Judge, Cohen, , Thurman would be compelled to take her BLOG, evidence of her crime, down.  SO if the FEDS want me as a witness I am ready willing and able. There are hundreds of LGBT bloggers out there who have been reporting on this for some time. I am sure they too would be willing to provide any evidence that the Blogosphere may have produced.

It is about time that religions interference and stepping on civil law is exposed for what it is.  The LGBT community is ready to be active when the civil law discriminates and now we are ready to be good citizens to urge the upholding of the civil law when it is broken; and to add insult to injury broken in the name of Jesus.  

The Christian right has no authority to circumvent the  law of this country.  This is the perfect example of the danger in failing to honor the boundary between Church and State. This failure to separate the two and invoke the Bible in place of the law of the land would serve to give us license to stone adulterers, and you all know the rest of what the bible has to say.

This is what Debbie  Thurman’s now missing Post says about now missing Miller :

“Were I in Lisa’s shoes, I could only hope to have the faith and courage she has displayed for the past six years. …

Lisa obeyed God in seeking to raise Isabella in the Christian faith. Isabella learned Scripture, apologetics and the art of prayer at her mother’s knee and in church, to the extent that she found her Christian school Bible classes boring and “childish.” This is an intelligent, precocious 7-year-old, who knows her mind and can speak it. She would have given Janet Jenkins nightmares had she consented to live under the same roof.

I cannot answer the burning question on everyone’s lips: Where are Lisa and Isabella? Somewhere safe, I pray. How and when did they get there? Only God knows. ..

What happens now? A lot of frustration, recrimination and more lies on one side and a collective sigh of relief on the other. The courts still have a huge task set before them, meanwhile. Lisa and Isabella represent only one of many similar cases waiting to be resolved. We need precedents that honor the prevailing states’ rights, laws and constitutions. The majority of Americans overwhelmingly support traditional marriage. If the tyrannical minority wants to push against that, it can and will be met with civil disobedience. There is no other way.

Lisa Miller is a mother who would give up her life to save her child. Of that there is no doubt. She apparently has chosen to forfeit a large measure of her liberty, personal property and pursuit of happiness in assuring that child her God-ordained future, much as a group of patriots pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor more than two centuries ago to establish this nation.

I say God bless and long live Lisa and Isabella Miller. All who have known them are the better for it.

Thurman’s statement seems to confirm allegations that Miller is being used by Thurman and Christian Rightists at the Liberty Counsel as a test case for their Manhattan Declaration, which is a vow to violate any law that fundamentalists happen to disagree with.

MMM, what do you all think?  So go to her BLOG site http://theformers.wordpress.com/2009/12/30/this-is-true-motherhood/

and you will see nada gone bye bye!

And  then there is this guy who ought to be subpoenaed too.

“ I pray,” says  Drew Taggart  “people ‘along the way’ are brave enough and smart enough to render the necessary assistance to Lisa and Isabella so this girl can be raised in a healthy environment. I just hope Lisa did her homework and did this disappearing act properly.”

In a subsequent defense of this statement, Taggart says:

I doubt she’ll ever see a day of jail. Once word of this gets out, millions of people are going to be outraged. And there are plenty of local and a few state law enforcement agencies around the country, who will not waste a minute trying to find her. William Cohen is a leftwing hack and this ruling is a joke. Without the support of law enforcement, especially wherever Lisa opts to call her new home, this ruling is going nowhere.

So back to my having copied the  now barren BLOG as a keepsake, I find the comments  here revealed to show  this Mr. Taggert that sentiment is not always anti-gay but that we have a way of being on the side of what is fair and correct  and average Americans have no problem seeing the danger in what you preach.

Comments from Thurmans now missing BLOG:-

” Surely there are similar precedents to draw upon involving hetro couples. Namely, situations where the mother’s male partner/husband is not the biological father, and has not adopted the child, but at some point had a supportive relationship to the child as a stepfather.

Comment by Priya Lynn — December 30, 2009 @ 2:32 pm“

I can think of anecdotal cases involving people I’ve known (in which case the former stepfather has no rights), but I’m not a legal scholar so I’d appreciate any info on the matter. Anyone?

Comment by Brad — December 30, 2009 @ 12:02 pm

If a warrant is issued for her arrest, anyone providing her with assistance would be aiding a fugitive. Somehow I doubt Debbie Thurman wants to do state or federal time. Since the State of Virginia is now supporting the Vermont Court as they are required, I would guess that Miller would flee south (perhaps even to Mexico). If anyone helps Miller flee Virginia, they are looking at federal penalties. Judges hold a dim view of those who flout court rulings. I wouldn’t expect much leniency in sentencing.

Comment by John — December 30, 2009 @ 1:12 pm

Unbelievably someone on the page made sense in pointing out that Miller hasn’t put herself in a good position and being on the run actually hurts Isabella.

Comment by a. mcewen — December 30, 2009 @ 1:15 pm

So much for Thurman’s lame excuse that she didn’t give Miller any legal advice. Always knew you were a BS’er Debbie, thanks for coming out of the closet and admitting it.

Comment by Priya Lynn — December 30, 2009 @ 1:29 pm

If Miller does not comply with the law and wants to play martyr – I say fine. She can send a few years handcuffed and locked in the can to think about the sin of kidnapping.

What Miller is doing is not holy. She is a poor role model who is mentally abusing her child. There will likely be massive shrink bills in the future for Isabella, thanks to Miller.

Her lawlessness is not to be compared to our nation’s founders. It is criminal behavior, profoundly irresponsible and deeply immoral. It disgusts me that these frauds are cynically co-opting American symbols in their politically based criminality.

It is a shame that Miller allowed herself to be used as a pawn in the Culture War Syndicate. I doubt her friends will visit her much in the hoosegow once she is no longer useful to their political games.

Comment by Wayne Besen — December 30, 2009 @ 1:52 pm

“So much for Thurman’s lame excuse that she didn’t give Miller any legal advice. Always knew you were a BS’er Debbie, thanks for coming out of the closet and admitting it.”

   And you are deducing this how, exactly?

Comment by Debbie Thurman — December 30, 2009 @ 2:24 pm

You really are a piece of work Debbie. You just admitted the truth in your own blog, praising miller for the kidnapping, calling it “true motherhood”. Now of course in your Christian world where black is white and bad is good, you’ll have some pathetic excuse for how your actions are really the opposite of what you’ve done, but we’re not stupid and we’re not buying any of your BS. “ 

Comment by Priya Lynn — December 30, 2009 @ 2:32 pm

THURMANS WEBSITE  is located at http://debbiethurman.com/dt_files/aboutdebbie.php 

Last but not least important, I am urging the FEDS to investigate the Liberty Council, Debbie Thurman, Taggart, et al to see just how Ms Miller has financed her escape… Check the Banks and there is likely to be a trail and who knows that trail might lead to Isabella.

At the same time I urge Ms Miller to turn the child in, the damage is done and your only chance of leniency is that once you have done so you may be reprieved.  I urge also the Christian Ministries involved or not involved to encourage Ms. Miller to subvert the Manhatten Declaration and to obey the Civil Law especially those of you who may be implicated in this.  If you do turn yourself in pronto,  you may find a willing Judge let go of having you do time.  That would be a lot better for Isabella.    A good mediator may then help you with some supervised visitation, once Janet decides she is comfortable with such.  Or do you prefer Jail visits for Isabella?

Blogged by Melanie Nathan: nathan@privatecourts.com
www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com

1/1/10-by Paula Brooks
A New Jersey judge has ruled that a gestational surrogate who gave birth to twin girls for her brother and his legal spouse, is their legal mother, even though she is not genetically related to the twins.

Relying heavily on the precedent established by the New Jersey Supreme Court in 1988 during the case of Baby M, where Mary Beth Whitehead decided that she wanted to keep a baby she had carried as part of a surrogacy agreement with a New Jersey couple, New Jersey Superior Court Judge Francis B. Schultz ruled that Angelia G. Robinson maternal rights could not be terminated against her will.

Citing a passage in the Baby M decision at said “The surrogacy contract is based on principles that are directly contrary to the objectives of our laws…. It guarantees the separation of a child from its mother; it looks to adoption regardless of suitability; it totally ignores the child; it takes the child from the mother regardless of her wishes and maternal fitness.” Schultz wrote, “Would it really make any difference if the word ‘gestational’ was substituted for the word ’surrogacy’ in the above quotation? I think not.”

Court papers released last week say Ms Robinson agreed to act as a surrogate and have the children in 2006 for her brother, Donald Robinson Hollingsworth, an accountant in Manhattan, and his spouse, Sean Hollingsworth. The embryos were created from anonymous donor eggs and fertilized with sperm from Sean Hollingsworth.

The girls were born in October 2006 and went to live with the Hollingsworths at their home in Jersey City. But in March 2007 Ms. Robinson filed a lawsuit seeking custody, alleging that she had been coerced into the arrangement.

In the Baby M case, Mary Beth Whitehead, carried her own genetic child for another couple after artificial insemination with the man’s sperm, but later decided that she wanted to keep the baby. The New Jersey Supreme Court invalidated the traditional surrogacy agreement in that case, which provided a $10,000 fee to Whitehead. The Court also barred the use of money in an adoption placement and further held that no one could contractually abandon his or her parental rights.

However in gestational surrogacy, the surrogate becomes pregnant via embryo transfer with a child of which she is not the biological mother. She may have made an arrangement to relinquish it to the biological mother or father to raise, or to a parent who is unrelated to the child (e. g. because the child was conceived using egg donation, sperm donation or is the result of a donated embryo).

Prof. Charles P. Kindregan, an expert in reproductive technology law who teaches at Suffolk University Law School in Boston, said the New Jersey ruling, which was made Dec. 23 but released to the parties in the case this week, could expand the rights of gestational surrogates if it stood.

“If it’s upheld, that suggests that gestational surrogacy is not as different from traditional surrogacy as we’ve always interpreted it to be,” Professor Kindregan said.

Mr. Kindregan has worked with an American Bar Association committee in an effort to standardize surrogacy laws across the country…. (via NYTimes.com)

Since 2007, custody of the twins has been shared between the Hollingsworths’ home and that of Robinson’s, who has three parenting days a week. Judge Schultz’s ruling will give, Robinson, the right to seek primary custody of the children at a trial scheduled for latter this year.

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1/1/10-by Paula Brooks
At midnight, the state of New Hampshire joined Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut and Iowa in allowing marriage equality and about 15 couples braved the cold to exchange vows outside the New Hampshire Statehouse in Concord while others planned private ceremonies around the state….

In a candlelit church brimming with family and friends, Jennifer Morton and Michelle Morrison heard an announcement they’ve waited 13 years for: they were, at long last, married.

At the stroke of midnight, the couple joined in a rousing chorus of Auld Lang Syne at their church, the Unitarian Universalist Church of Nashua, and then rang in the New Year by observing the moments-old law allowing gay couples to marry in New Hampshire.

“It’s very exciting,” Morton said. “I’m really glad it happened in our lifetimes. I didn’t know if it would.”

Morton and Morrison, both 38, celebrated their marriage with their two children, 150 friends, family and much of the congregation. The event was open to everyone in the church, making part New Year’s party, part wedding, part landmark moment… (via NashuaTelegraph.com)

The law, passed earlier this year, granted no new rights to gays and lesbians but eliminates the separate status for civil unions.

Couples already in civil unions have three options to convert their statuses to marriages. They can have marriage ceremonies, file marriage paperwork with their town clerks to convert their statuses during 2010 or wait until the unions are automatically converted in 2011.

Congratulation’s Granite State LGBT’s…..

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 The  Prop 8, Monstermind,  Frank Schubert’s sister, Anne Marie Schubert has announced her candidacy for Sacramento County Superior Court Judge and her brother supports her campaign.

Frank Schubert asserts that his political activities have nothing to do with his sister.  “I tried to focus the Prop 8 and [Maine's] Question 1 campaigns on the various issues associated with redefining marriage, not on the personalities of the people involved on either side. Anne Marie and I disagree on the marriage issue. I am certain that she opposed Prop 8. Neither of us has allowed that single issue to define our relationship as brother and sister.” well jolly good show – but  the 2 apples stay close,  as they hit the ground,  because according to voter records, Anne Marie Schubert is a registered Republican and her campaign has hired one of California’s most formidable conservative political conculting firms- Gilliard Blanning.

While she has a decent record of prosecuting crimes against women and children.   Unfortunately in the US, Judges have political affiliations. To many in the world that is unusual and not desirable.      Her conservatism must impact the record.  How can it not?  Justice Sotomayor commented recently that once life’s experience definitely influences how one sees things as a Judge. 

Anne Marie Schubert is a supervising deputy district attorney for Sacramento County, and according to her website at, http://www.schubertforjudge.com/ : Direct quote-

“As a Prosecutor for 20 years, I have dedicated my career to keeping our community safe, successfully prosecuting murderers, serial rapists, child molesters and other dangerous criminals.  While assigned to the Homicide Team, I developed and implemented the Cold Case Prosecution Program, which has been highly successful in the identification and prosecution of old murder cases.

I am proud to be law enforcement’s choice for Judge. Numerous law enforcement leaders in our community have already endorsed my candidacy, including District Attorney Jan Scully, Sheriff John McGinness, former Sheriff Lou Blanas, Sacramento Police Chief Braziel, Galt Police Chief Loren Cattolico, the Sacramento Police Officers Association and the Sacramento Deputy Sheriffs Association. I have also received the endorsement of WEAVE.”

The aspiring 45 year old’s experience seems to be exclusively in the arena of crime , with Civil Litigation, Defense work, Civil Rights, Family Law all noticeably and critically absent from her record.   She highlights the following experience as prosecutor,  and it is impressive, yet if I were a  Sacramento voter I would be concerned about the fact that her career is steeped to one side and not well rounded.  

• People v. Scott Wright: Prosecution of serial rapist involving violent attacks on two women; trial consisted of six weeks of testimony, including two weeks of Kelly/Frye testimony regarding admissibility of DNA evidence; first case in Solano County to admit PCR DQalpha and Polymarker; first published opinion in California on Polymarker; see  People v. Wright (1998) 62 Cal.App.4th 31. Defendant was sentenced to 79 years in state prison.

• People v. David Funston: Prosecution of serial child molester involving six victims; trial consisted of lengthy testimony involving admissibility of RFLP DNA evidence, including the “product rule”; testimony included several world-renowned DNA experts, including Dr. Ranajit Chakraborty and several defense experts.  Defendant convicted and sentenced to life in prison.

• People v. Irvin Parnell:  Prosecution of serial rapist, who had been previously convicted of rape.  Case involves two separate sexual assaults occurring in 1996 and 1998.  This case involved STR DNA evidence, which was litigated in a protracted admissibility hearing.  The Defendant was convicted of 19 counts and sentenced to life in prison.

Although  Ms.  Schubert does not mention her family or sexual orientation on her website, Sacramento County tax records show that she purchased a residential property with her domestic partner,  Julie Greenberg, where the women live together raising two children.

Asked if he considered Greenberg and the children to be a part of his family, Frank Schubert replied, “Of course I consider them and their children to be part of my family, and I love them very much.” (Bay Area Reporter, Dan Aielo)

Ms.  Schubert declined to discuss same-sex marriage or Proposition 8, citing judicial code. “It is irrelevant what race, creed, sexual orientation, or gender someone possesses. What matters is that all participants in the judicial system be treated with fairness and respect,” she said. According to the Bay Area Reporter.

Geoff Kors of EQCA, according to the Bay Area Reporter commented that, ”It would be terrific to have a member of the Schubert family on the bench who understands the public danger and harm that Frank Schubert has helped inflict on so many,” 

This writer is unsure how Ms. Shubert qualifies for the likes of a family law seat. I am open to hearing more.  I do however express that her brother may serve as an embarrasing noose around her neck (bad cf) or should we simply say her achilles heel – Lets hope that she is judged on her merits and qualifications.

Posted by Melanie Nathan-
nathan@privatecourts.com

The Irish Evanglical Alliance released a statement earlier this month giving broad support the new Civil Partnership Bill 2009.

Other evangelical Christian groups in Ireland and the UK have been shocked by the statement. Lifesitenews.com quotes the Honorary Secretary of Aontas (formerly the Association of Irish Evangelical Churches), Rev. Paudge Mulvihill as saying the other group’s stand has caused him “profound sadness”.

Meanwhile, Irish LGBT groups are split between support for the bill that would grant legal status to gay couples for the first time in the history of the state and protesting that the bill does not go far enough, and worse, enshrines second class status for gay and lesbian couples in law.

The Irish Evangelical Alliance’s position paper makes it very clear that they see the legislation as not affecting marriage.

Most notably, however, the document states, “Evangelical Christians have no automatic right to have their views prefered to those of others. Nor do we have a duty to try and impose Biblical morality on public life by force of law.”

Rosie O’Donnell just revealed in November that she and longtime partner Kelli Carpenter had split up and that Kelli had moved out two years ago. The reports are out that Rosie now has a new girlfriend who in fact has six children. See http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/12/30/2009-12-30_rosie_odonnell_romancing_new_lady_friend_says_a_report.html, as the two were seen on thebeach in Miami holding hands. O’Donnell’s rep confirmed to People.com that she is dating Texas artist and mother of six Tracy Kachtick-Anders.
O’Donnell met her new love through her blog, Perez Hilton reports on his blog. O’Donnell had also let slip that the alleged new woman in her life was the same person photographed with her on a jet ski in Miami a few months back. In addition, O’Donnell has posted photos of Kachtick-Anders and her children on her site.

The site also noted that O’Donnell’s new love is a writer who created the non-profit organization Open Arms Campaign, a non-profit volunteer organization dedicated to the recruitment of foster and adoptive homes. She also invented the Sleep Tight Wedge, a slumbering aid for infants.

www.People.com quote:

‘Like O’Donnell, Kachtick-Anders is active in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parenting and adoption issues. She launched Open Arms Campaign, a non-profit organization to recruit and foster adoptive families that targets the LGBT community. “I have become an activist and work to educate everyone, not only about the plight of foster children,” she wrote on TheRainbowBabies.com, “but also the inequality that faces LGBT people in their quest to create families.” Kachtick-Anders has six children, five of whom are adopted, according to the Examiner.com.

O’Donnell, meanwhile, is gearing up for the airing on HBO in late January of A Family Is A Family Is A Family: A Rosie O’Donnell Celebration, a documentary that challenges the traditional ideas of family.”

Posted by Melanie Nathan
Nathan@privatecourts.com
 www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com

 By Melanie Nathan,   Dec 24th, 2009 :   Story # 2, In this my second post in the series: ”UAFA or 1,666 years of binational stories,”  my column presents in the form of my letter to President Obama, below.  It also reveals my own less told binational story, the one that prompted my advocacy and writing on the plight of binational couples.  

Dear Mr. President,

 My family of four,  including my two young daughters, aged 4 and 12 years, wish You, the First Lady and the First Daughters a very Happy Holiday and New Year. Not to forget Maya Lasso Absa to Bo, First Dog… best wishes.

With these wishes, I would be remiss to ignore this opportunity to alert you, with respect Mr. President, to the other families, less fortunate than mine, the same-sex families, who are unable to spend this Holiday Season together. 

 During January of 2002, I went into an online chat room for the first time ever and developed a friendship with a woman from Israel.  Coincidentally she was soon to arrive in the USA to study at a University in Texas.  I invited her to stop in California, en route, so we could meet and soon I realized that this was the person with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. 

 Our relationship flourished while Dor was studying in Texas and soon she transferred to a college near my home in Northern California; and so we moved in together and married as soon as it was legal for us to do so.  At the time, my daughter, HC, from my previous relationship was five years of age.  Dor and HC developed a close relationship and they could not have loved each other more.

We were able to change Dor’s student visa to a very limited R1 visa.  Notwithstanding the fact that California recognized our domestic partnership and subsequent marriage, I the US citizen could not sponsor Dor in the same way as a different gender couple could.  

Dorit taught Jewish religious studies, Hebrew and Bible at a local congregation and was qualified for the R1 Visa. We were luckier than many others in the same-sex binational community because we had found a way, albeit expensive and fraught with difficulties.  With Dor the last in her family of Holocaust survivors, and biological clock ticking, we decided to extend our family and to inseminate so that Dor would carry a baby for us.  The birth of Refael was one of the most exhilirating moments in our lives, with HC, the big sister ecstatic at the arrival of her new baby sister. 

Our lives continued; and we were a tight family, notwithstanding our constant fear that we would have to part ways if Dor’s Visa did not lead to her intended immigration within the time constraints of the R1 termination date.  The termination date came and we advocated crazily for the renewal by Congress of the R1.   With mere days and then hours to the sunset of the law, and Dor’s process hanging severely in the balance, Congress did extend the Visa, setting yet another sunset date for March 06, 2009.

Dor’s lawyer informed us that our chances of success were remote as the timing was still not in our favor, as well as other aspects of the statute and rules that were so onerous and arbitrary on the part of DHS.  We were given low odds and another huge legal bill and a decision to make – should we continue on this Visa path?  The choices were dim; in fact there were no feasible choices.  I could not face the Sophie’s choice that had been haunting me for so many years.

How could I leave my then 11 year old (due to shared custody agreement with me ex) and go with Dor and the baby to Israel?  How could I say goodbye to the love of my life-my spouse, and my then three year old Refael.  How could I split the sisters? I went to see my member of Congress and there was nothing that could be done for our situation.  As an American Citizen and with both children American citizens there was no law to prevent the high probability of Dor having to leave the USA.    I had also determined that I would never prevent Dor from taking our baby with her; the attachment and bond between them would be forcibly broken and my baby would suffer irreparable harm. There were no choices, only extreme denial.

 So we paid and prayed… and then before the final impending sunset date, DHS showed up at our Congregation, with three official investigators to check that Dorit’s basis for her Visa to Immigrate was legitimate; and of course it was.  They approved her application and we were able to submit the finalizing Petition.  

 With 7  days to the sunset of the R1 process, we received a letter stating that the R1 Visa Law was going to sunset and this time there would be no renewal by Congress. This would not give enough time to process the final piece of Dor’s approved application.  Again I spun into denial determined to fight and not willing to think of my ‘Sophie’s choice.’ There was no plan B.  

 It was then that I went to Senator Feinstein for help and with mere hours to the sunset of the law, Dor’s file was given a priority position and viewed just before the 11^thhour.  Dor  was approved and received her green card about two weeks later. This four year hell cost us a great deal, emotionally stressful and financially debilitating. 

I calculated how much more it had cost us compared to that of a straight couple who could simply Petition because of their recognized marriage. I took into account legal fees, non-resident student fees, work limitation losses and Visa fees and renewals: A whopping total of $71,600  for us (over a six year period) compared to $1,500 for a straight couple over a six month period.

It was the spread of our good news that led to my introduction to Shirley Tan and Jay Mercado and my advocacy for them and other binationals has helmed my 2009 year.   

Mr. President, with great respect, I am mentioning this during the holiday season because this time for many is fraught with sadness, fear and pain.  Exiled Americans, who are with their spouses, cannot come home to spend Xmas with extended families and if they do, they have to leave spouses  abroad.  Tens of thousands of same sex couples are unable to spend these holidays together because they are stuck in different countries.  These families cannot wait any longer. Our binational spouses and partners are being turned away at US airports, even as I write these words, at the arbitrary instance of an ICE officer.

 We cannot wait any longer and this President  Obama is what we can do:  

 1. Ask Congress to formulate a special interim Visa for Same-sex Spouses, Domestic Partners, Civil Union Partners, for entry into the USA, and for the ability to remain and work in the USA – possibly subject to renewal  and/or- with a path to immigration.  This can be done in a similar manner to the R1 Visa Process.  It should however be less complicated and could be set for termination when UAFA or similar legislation is passed, or until DOMA is repealed.

 2. The burden of proof could be similar to a marriage – where, inter alia, the following is required:
a. Proof of certification of marriage, Domestic Partnership, Civil Union contract – from any jurisdiction, anywhere in the world, proving a contractual nexus between the spouses;  and also an Affidavit of suport from American Spouse;
b. The same two year conditional residency as spouses have – where the parties attend an interview where they prove that they have been living together in relationship, to back up the contract in the exact same way as straight people have to do;
c. Anyone who has a ten year ban – who was in a Same sex relationship at the time – ought to have their case reviewed to negate the ban and criteria for this should be established;
d. Same sex couples ought to have a process to convert Visas to this Visa status, regardless of waivers they may have signed.

(I have written a more detailed drafty of legislation for such a VISA and its available to anyone interested.)  UPDATED;  SIGN PETITION
http://immigration.change.org/actions/view/special_visa_for_binational_lgbt_spouse-perma-partners 

 I believe if this was done in the form of a special visa category and did not alter the Immigration and Naturalization Act in any way, it could perhaps work its way through the system quickly and differently.  The way it is written will not conflict in any way with DOMA and its tacit  restrictions on the Immigration and Naturalization Act.

The legitimacy would rest on the fact that de facto relationships and families exist, a simple fact of life; and that because they are specifically ousted by law, with their civil right to live together impeded, they should be allowed a special visa status, until such time as the law changes to include them, so that they no longer need to be considered a special class for special rights.   I say the argument here is to embrace an agenda of special rights,  as an interim necessity, and to counter the argument against it by admitting it to be just what it would be which is special rights! 

For as long as DOMA exists LGBT relationships are automatically a special class, simply because one cannot deny the factual existence, the contractual commitment and the ethical obligations these families have assumed.

Now while none of us want special treatment and would much rather have equal treatment, I guarantee that 95% of binational couples who are currently in jeopardy or suffering hardship by virtue of their non- status, would agree to a moratorium or interim visa so that they can live their lives in peace, in their own country and with whom they wish, as a matter of immediacy.

 This would in no way derogate from the work that needs to be done to amend this injustice in the long term.  All it would do is stop subjecting LGBT couples to immediate human rights abuses engendered by the lack of equality with regard to visas and immigration.

Regardless of my plea for binationals and certainly not to negate the urgency, what we need Sir, for the long term, is your leadership to pursue what you promised and that is the passage of repeal legislation for DOMA.

 Perhaps pursuing Congressman Jerrold Nadler’s “Respect for Marriage Act” ought to be the priority of all LGBT movements, organizations and leaders, above and beyond DADT, ENDA, UAFA, etc.     It  is my contention that the pivotal legislation detrimentally impacting the LGBT community is the insidious one that seeks to deny our de facto relationships, which to my way of thinking denies us the right to be gay.  If we are denied the validity of our relationships, it is tantamount to an overt endorsment  that we ought not have our relationships – what could be worse?

If  we cannot sponsor our spouses to be with us in our country, causing banishment from the USA, then we are thwarting those lesbian and gay relationships; – Silence by this Administration and the continued persecution of gays and lesbians, profiled and deported at the airports by suspicious ICE officers,  is the same as overtly stating that exiling our gays and lesbians is acceptable.  The relationships are the essence of who we are and the absolute benchmark  for acceptability, beyond mere tolerance.

 This situation, Mr. President,  is hardly known by mainstream America and I imagine once revealed more openly, through columns such as mine, where I am publishing this letter, the average American may feel compassion or perhaps even some guilt. The fact that America can exile its own is simply unconscionable. As a community we are hurt and sickened by the perception that a Democratic majority and President cannot rescue us from the throat hold of the religious right and from States that vote away our rights.

 So at this holiday time,  when families are gathering together  in happiness and joy, please find a way to remember those Americans. their beloved and children who, because of DOMA,  cannot share these days- and all our community can do at this time is beg and pray for something extraordinary, perhaps a miracle.  Our exiles and exiles-to-be cannot wait for the impending Immigration Reform battle or for UAFA to garnish more co-sponsors.  Our binationals do not want to be the “Public Option” of Comprehensive Immigration Reform. 

 Our binationals cannot wait to hold the hand of a dying parent, nor be on foreign turf if they themselves are ailing, nor be subjected to losing homes, jobs, and businesses, nor the separation of siblings. Our binationals are running out of money to support the long distance relationships.

 By XMAS time next year, it is my Holiday prayer that our binationals will all reunite through whatever means it takes – but here and now Mr. President we need your leadership and for you to take reach beyond business as usual in D.C. to accomplish what for us was also a “YES WE CAN.”   

Thank you for reading this and in Solidarity I say,

Happy Holidays and a Miraculous New Year,

Most Sincerely,
Melanie Nathan,

 American Citizen,  
Married Lesbian 
Mom of two daughters
Unable to Sponsor Spouse
Feature Picture taken by Melanie - of  Dorit, HC and Refael, 2008.

PLEASE NOTE – This Letter will be re-faxed to President Obama and mailed together with all comments that readers make.  I encourage one to two paragraph stories of binationals. 

 UPDATE; OUT OF THIS – Piece a Petition is born - The overwhelming response on my personal e-mail to this post has given me faith in the fight.  So I have taken a vision of mine, which many may think silly and naive,  and once again in defiance of  protocol, in defiance of all that (those who know better say) is possible, in defiance of the experienced, and veering off the beaten track…… here is my hopeful interim remedial solution to the crime against binational Americans and their partners/spouses/children.  PLEASE PARTICIPATE AND SIGN THIS experiment in grassroot power……   Lets take back the fight!!   Lets wake every American conscience to the Binational Plight.  We need 36,000 signatures.     CLICK HERE -  http://www.change.org/actions/view/special_visa_for_binational_lgbt_spouse-perma-partners

12/22/09- by Paula Brooks

Photo by Back2Stonewall.com

Lt. Dan Choi has been scheduled to be the keynote speaker at Iowa’s 5th Annual Governor’s Conference on LGBT Youth on February 18th, 2010 at Drake University.

Choi, a West Point graduate and Iraq veteran fluent in Arabic, attracted national attention last March when he came out publicly on an episode of The Rachel Maddow Show.

Since coming out, Choi, has been notified by the Army that discharge proceedings have been brought up against him, even though Lt Choi was one only of only eight soldiers from his graduating class who majored in Arabic and personnel with language skills considered critical to the military’s mission worldwide.

This year’s conference is expected to attract hundreds of educators, parents, students, social workers, counselors, psychologists, policy makers, and others concerned about the safety of LGBT youth in Iowa.

In addition to Choi, Iowa Governor Chet Culver, Lt. Governor Patty Judge, and Congressman Leonard Boswell have also been invited to address the conference.

The 2010 Governor’s Conference is themed Proud to Change the World, Creating an Accepting Future. LGBT students and students from LGBT families have many different barriers that do not allow them to join such career fields as the military, politics, or business. While in school and at home, we often times teach our children that they can become whatever they want to and that they will change the world. It is important to address the different barriers facing LGBT students including discriminatory policies, homelessness, HIV risk, bullying and harassment, and suicide risk.

Workshop Topics this year will include HIV/Aids, Transgender Transitioning, Sexting/Social Networking, Raising a Transgender Child, Communities of Faith, LGBT Youth Homelessness, anti-bullying programs for schools, and several others related to LGBT youth and youth-serving professionals.

Exhibitor booths that will be available will include Iowa-based resources, organizations, and communities of faith, corporations, plus other important information for anyone working with students.

For more information or to register for the conference…. go to www.iowasafeschools.org

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12/20/09-by Paula Brooks
Maj. Gen. Anthony Cucolo, the commander of US Forces in northern Iraq, has released a new policy for his troops… it says if you get pregnant while in his command… you may also get a court martial to go along with that new little bundle of joy…

Military officials say the order was issued because Army policy requires a pregnant soldier to be removed from the war zone in Iraq within 14 days of learning they are pregnant … and that removing the pregnant soldier leaves a hole in the unit that makes it more difficult to complete the mission.

The rule governs all those serving under Maj. Gen. Anthony Cucolo III, who commands Multi-National Division-North, including Balad, Kirkuk, Tikrit, Mosul and Samarra. According to the order, it is “applicable to all United States military personnel, and to all civilians, serving with, employed by, or accompanying” the military in northern Iraq, with few exceptions…. (via Stars and Stripes)

The new policy, outlined last month by Cucolo and released Friday by the Army, would apply to both female soldiers who become pregnant on the battlefield and the male soldiers who happen to impregnate them, even if married, with the general saying married soldiers in combat zones should either put their love lives on hold – or take precautions.

Married servicemembers are allowed to room together in Iraq.

“I’ve got a mission to do, I’m given a finite number of soldiers with which to do it and I need every one of them, ” said the general, “So I’m going to take every measure I can to keep them all strong, fit and with me for the twelve months we are in the combat zone.”

A well place Pentagon source told LGR yesterday, that for Cucolo it is a pretty “black and white” issue… but added the Pentagon is also “watching this one pretty carefully,” since this prohibition is “mine field” of legal, ethical and policy issues….

” Personally… Even though the JAG people have said this is legal… I think this one is probably going to come back to bite us in the ass at some point, if not legally, then in the form of some really terrible PR, ” said our source.

“Here you really have issues that go to the core of personal integrity: reproductive rights,” said Eugene Fidell, a professor of military law at Yale Law School in a Star and Stripes Article.

There are also issues of enforcement, Fidell said. The woman is immediately suspect once the pregnancy comes to light, but unless she identifies her partner, the male could go unpunished despite bearing the same culpability under the order.

It is the first time the US Army has made pregnancy a punishable offense and so far there are no reported cases where a pregnant woman or a baby’s father has been disciplined for disobeying the order that went into effect Nov. 4, 2009.

Now just saying here…. On a little note as to how this story just might have some relevance to the Military’s Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell policy… you could be pretty sure unintended pregnancies would not be a problem for openly serving gay and lesbian troops … That is if Gen. Cucolo had any under his command anyway …

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12/19/09-by Paula Brooks
A District of Columbia Mom is apparently upset with a teacher at her daughter’s school for telling her class she was getting married…

According to the Washington City Paper…

Margaret C. Hemenway, identifying herself as a D.C. Public Schools parent, claims to have filed a complaint with Chancellor Michelle Rhee over her seven-year-old child’s “sense of innocence.” At what exact moment was the first-grader’s innocence whisked away from her, never to be returned? The moment little Hemenway’s teacher at Tenleytown’s Horace Mann Elementary allegedly announced to her first-grade class that she was planning to marry a woman. Think. Of. The. Children…. (via The Sexist – Washington City Paper)

According to Ms. Hemenway’s account…

Our first-grader astonished her father at the end of the past school year as he dropped her off at our local Washington DC public school, Horace Mann Elementary, where he had attended school in the early 60s. She relayed to him that her teacher announced her impending marriage– to another woman — to the class. Following her revelation, this teacher encouraged questions from the children.

Our daughter also mentioned a book the teacher read aloud, “Uncle Bobby’s Wedding,” about two male “gay” guinea pigs, promoted by the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Transgender Lobby for children. Since homosexual activists cannot reproduce their own children, recruitment to their cause (especially at a young age, before parents have raised such sensitive and controversial topics with their children) is essential to the political agenda of promoting homosexuality and “gay” marriage. (via PFOX-ExGays)

LGR did try to contact the official’s at the Horace Mann School and the District of Columbia Public School System to get their side of the story yesterday… Mann directed us to the DCPS HQ and Chancellor Rhee’s office. The Chancellors office has yet to get back to us with a statement.

We also went out to see if we could get an additional comment on the situation from Ms. Hemenway herself….

Now we are wondering… would this be Margaret Calhoun Hemenway we are looking for? … A 15-year veteran of Capitol Hill and a former Bush White House appointee, who served at the DoD in the capacity of a White House liaison for former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfield?

Is this also the same Margaret Calhoun Hemenway who is a contributing editor for Family Security Matters.org, a regular Muslim basher, Birther extraordinary and daughter-in-law to the Birther lawyer John D. Hemenway who was recently reprimanded by a federal judge for his part in the preparation, filing, and prosecution of a legally frivolous suits involving President Obama’s birth certificate?

Is this too, the same Ms. Hemenway who also seems to have had a long-standing relationship with the Karl Rove creation, Swift Vets and POWs for Truth, the group that added the term “Swiftboating” to our political lexicon and gave new meaning to shady smear campaigns forever?

I don’t know… but an available address we found on the web would put a Margaret Calhoun Hemenway and a Margaret C. Hemenway in the Spring Valley section of DC and thereby in the Horace Mann School boundaries…

But if this is the same Margaret C. Hemenway, and since we are practically neighbors and my twins will be attending Horace Mann in a couple of years… I’d really like to talk about all of this with you if you have the time.

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 Posted by Melanie Nathan: -  While many may find e-mail letters and fundraising pleas overwhelming at this time of year, I always enjoy reading them.  Many are from non-profit organizations, some touting well deserved victories and others attempting to portray mistakes as miracles.  But it is that time of year and we are especially looking at the miracles.

 I have chosen one for you that I found particularly touching.  Maybe my subconscious triggered its own perceived miracle, because when I looked at the name on the picture of an elderly 88 year old, it reminded me that I had my very own bobba (grandma) Millie, of blessed memory.   After I read the piece I was hard pressed to imagine my own bobba Milly at my big  Jewish Lesbian wedding.   In fact all I could visualize was my dear bobba Millie (who passed away at age 90) doing cartwheels in her grave :” oy vey, how could she do this to me, oyayooiy how could she do this me?”   

 So now to the letter I want to feature as my favorite for the year of giving- to a group whose motto resonates, profoundly:-

“Building community locally, creating change nationally. ”

 Dear Melanie,

What a distance we have come! 

From the vantage point of my almost 88 years, I have witnessed firsthand how much things have changed for the gay and lesbian members of our community. Growing up, the word “gay” had an entirely different meaning and “lesbian” wasn’t even part of our vocabulary. Much has changed, but it’s still not always easy to talk about these issues in the same way that people talk about other aspects of their family life.

 For me, the most significant marker of this change was the wonderful Jewish wedding of my beloved granddaughter Rachel and her lovely, loving partner, Bonnie. It was a truly joyous occasion, shared by our families and friends. Seeing how happy these two extraordinary young women make each other, who could not be happy for them?

 And yet, when I first learned that Rachel was a lesbian I was totally surprised. Then I quickly realized that Rachel was still Rachel and that my love for her was unconditional.

Having gotten to know, respect, and love Bonnie over the years that she shared holidays, Seders, Shabbat dinners, and other occasions with us, we knew that she had become an integral part of our extended family. At some point, too, I’m sure I will be blessed with great-grandkids.

 So much progress has been made, but so much remains to be done. Thanks toKeshet’s vision, commitment, energy, and persistence, they have become the organization providing information, support, and outreach to the gay, lesbian, transgender, and bisexual members within our community.Keshet has raised the consciousness of all of us.

 But it is still so difficult for those, especially kids, who are unable to share who they really are. The existence of Keshet makes a huge difference in their lives. As individuals, and as a community, we should take great pride in the work of this amazing organization. Please join me in generously supporting Keshetthis Chanukah holiday season.

 Happy Chanukah from my family to yours,

Millie Guberman Kravetz”   – (reprinted with permission.)

Keshet’s mission is to ensure that gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Jews are fully included in all parts of the Jewish community.

In the Greater Boston area, Keshet offers social and cultural events for GLBT Jews ranging from Jewish text study to an annual GLBT Jewish speed-dating gala, Keshet Quick Dates.

Nationally, Keshet offers support, training, and resources to create a Jewish community that welcomes and affirms GLBT Jews.

Keshet is an extraordinary organization and their work, more than anything else, in my opinion, brings normalcy to who we are.  Imagine if more religious based groups could reach their members in this way? 

 This is not only about the dollars Keshet needs, but also about showing your parents and grandparents how our acceptance is increasing in the world, through the mitzvot of love, kindness, giving and compassion.

Posted by Melanie Nathan, – www.visualcv.com/melnathan  
www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com
www.privatecourts.com
Tweet with me:- @oblogdeeoblogda

 Post Picture: Millie and Rachel

  Posted by Melanie Nathan- If you look at the history of my posts, you will see that I have been an avid critic of the strategy adopted by Immigration Equality who spearheaded the effort to have LGBT families included in all and any Comprehensive Immigration Reform Bills.  Yesterday, Congressman Luis Gutierrez (D-IL) introduced an immigration reform proposal in the House of Representatives that does not include lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender families.  I do believe that Immigration Equality and other activist groups worked hard for LGBT inclusion, but at the same time they backed the wrong horse.

To me the writing was on the wall. Although Rachel Tiven of IE states in her BLOG that there is still hope, I am terribly upset to have to note “I was right.”   The leadership acted as if this was the only strategy and as I said they effectively SHOT ALL BI-NATIONALS in the toe, with their off course (From Uniting American Families Act as a stand alone) strategy.

  O K K I E S (ah-keez’) n.: plural of Okkie, familiar form of Oscar   – When I first arrived in New York City from South Africa, albeit an attorney , my foreign-ness made finding work near impossible.  I moved to Los Angeles and soon found myself running around the City with one of Los Angeles’ most well known celebrity stylists.  As it happens Lauren Landau Hines is my first cousin and I could not be more proud of her achievements.  She scooped me in her protective arms and I was able to help her with Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation, working specifically with the late great Cyd Charrise who had a cameo in one of the music videos as well as a few other exciting projects.  Lauren has since honed her skills to fill a gap (no pun intended) -  she found that there was no loose comfortable  stylish clothes for boys.

Although accomplished, Lauren is probably the single most modest person one could meet, never touting her  ‘own horn’ and it’s a big one that should be blasted loudly. There is barely an issue of People, US, OK and other tabloids that does not show a celebrity child wearing one of Lauren’s simple and recognizable  OKKIE designs.  Now Lauren tells her career story in her own words:-

The thread that repeatedly weaves its way through my life and career is, well, literally thread. Actually, it’s the cut, color and fabrication of clothing that are among my most important memories and, later, my influences.

Born in South Africa, I attended a conservative elementary school that required me to wear uniform dress – a blazer, button-down shirt, skirt, hat and tie. Freedom came at the end of the day and on weekends when I donned my favorite outfit: bright yellow cropped palazzo pants paired with a tank top. I can picture the pants clearly; I remember how they felt against my body.  

At 14, my family and I immigrated to Los Angeles, where in High School, freed from a dress code, clothing was a means of self-expression. I used my mom’s idle sewing machine to make my own clothes that broadcast my membership in the artsy crowd. I was really into upholstery fabric in high school, I made an upholstery fabric pajama outfit with gold buttons that I lived in.

After high school, I moved to New York City to attend design school. Soon my school internship turned into a full-time job: I worked as a freelance editorial stylist for Interview, Details and Face, the fashion-forward magazines of the day. My work was heavily influenced by the aesthetic of my favorite designers Issey Miyake, Yohji Yamamoto and Rei Kawakubo, whose clothing lines continue to inspire. These Japanese designers effortlessly reduce fashion to simple sophistication; it is amazing how they delineate colors using a monochromatic color palette. And their designs artfully balance practicality with playfulness, seriousness with humor. Yet their clothes don’t overwhelm, instead they enable the wearer to express his or her own personality. 

In 1987 I returned to LA to broaden my freelance stylist and costume designer career. I created costumes for music videos, concert tours and album covers, adding Janet Jackson, the Rolling Stones and Sting, to my client list. I also collaborated with television and print-ad directors styling and designing costumes for A-List commercial accounts such as Coke, Nike and Visa/MasterCard.

In 2001 I added motherhood to my resume with the birth of Hugo and, later, Oscar – nicknamed Okkie by his big brother. Watching my two young, constantly moving boys was easier than finding boy-appropriate clothing. At that time, girls had many fashion choices, boys much fewer. I struggled to find comfortable, easy-care, hip boys’ wear. Choices seemed locked into a few silhouettes merchandised in standard denims, fleeces and twills, in boy-accepted primary colors.

It was in the limited boys’ wear market that I saw opportunity. In 2005, as a natural next-step in my 20 years experience in the fashion industry, I designed and introduced OKKIES, a line of boys’ pants. With four pant silhouettes merchandised in a variety of fashion-forward colorations and menswear patterns, OKKIES debuted in five stores its first season. By fall 2006, I was designated best new designer by the online children’s clothing expert jamesgirone.com. In October 2008, Earnshaw’s national retail survey named OKKIES one of the top three best-designed collections in the boys’ wear industry. 

I am very excited to introduce my newest lifestyle-designed collection: OKKIES ‘girl’, a full line of feminine, but not frilly, interpretations of OKKIES’ best-selling silhouettes, for fall, 2009.

OKKIES girls’ wear Fall 2009 line features 16 styles in a full line silhouettes – from pants to shirts, dresses to leggings, sweaters, jackets and beanies – for size 3 months to 12 years. OKKIES boys’ wear Fall 2009 line features 19 styles – from pants to shirts, sweaters and hoodies, to beanies also for sizes 3 months to 12 years.

I have created OKKIES as a lifestyle approach to clothing – a lifestyle of ease of wear, clothing that allows them to move, stretch, run, climb and relax without restriction. For parents, that lifestyle is about comfort and more. It’s about clothes that are high-quality; that are wash-and-wear; that are appropriate for a full day of activity, going from a play date to dinner with grandma; that reflect an awareness and appreciation of fashion trends without being fussy or over done; that don’t express ‘generic kid’ but allows an individual’s personality to shine.

Up until now OKKIES have been available in over 500 specialty stores throughout the country, but moving forward, we will be offering our lifestyle approach to clothing directly to our customers on our website.

 Enjoy! go to http://okkies.com/information.php/about-i-1     You can take advantage of the online 48 hour sale – great Holiday Gifts

Posted by Melanie Nathan

 Follow my Twittering  @oblogdeeoblogda

The Holidays can be a great time of the year… but sometime… if you are in a new committed lesbian relationship… after you’ve gone over the river and through the woods to grandma house… you might have just a bit of ‘splainin to do and a lot of questions…

Jessica Clark & Lacey Stone tackle the festive season. Whose house should we go to… How do we handle the awkwardness… Can we sleep in the same bed?

Lesbian Love The Festive Season from lacey stone on Vimeo.

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 Blogged by melanie nathan – Kudos to Chris Johnson of DC AGENDA  for a great report;  Rep. Jerrold Nadler  said the Respect for Marriage Act,  would overturn the Defense of Marriage Act,  and would notpass next year.  The sponsor of the bill that would overturn the Defense of Marriage Act said repeal won’t happen in this Congress and that efforts next year will instead be focused on building support on the issue.

Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) said in an interview with DC Agenda that lawmakers will work on passing other pro-LGBT bills next year, and could take up legislation to repeal DOMA — known as the Respect for Marriage Act — at the end of the two-year session starting in 2011. “The Respect for Marriage Act is a bill that we can’t pass right now; we know we can’t pass it right now,” he said.

Nadler apparently is reiterating the Barney Frank strategy voiced that Congress won’t take up the DOMA repeal next year because other LGBT-related bills, including the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, legislation providing partner benefits for LGBT federal workers and a repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” are taking precedence. Supporters hope to pass those measures by the end of 2010.  Nowhere do we have mention of UAFA (Uniting American Families Act) other than if it is not in Comprehensive Immigration reform, Nadler will come in with an amendment –albeit hard to the fight.

So as a tired activist having read this article we can all note that the order of things is the same, the timing is pushed even further forward and the progressives are following the beat of the usual drum.   The interview reports Nadler as saying,  “The Respect for Marriage Act comes up after that, maybe at the end of the next Congress, maybe afterward,” he said.

Nadler’s legislation would overturn DOMA, allowing the federal government to recognize same-sex marriages. It also has a “transport provision” that would allow same-sex couples to marry in one state and still receive federal benefits even if they move to another state where gay nuptials aare not recognized. 

The ripple impact of the removal of DOMA is that in all likelihood the US will have to recognize married gay couples for the purposes of immigration and then UAFA and immigration equality would be moot. There are an estimated 90,000 binational couples around the world, in hiding in US, abroad in exile, pending deportation or waiting for visas to expire.  Every time a gay married American’s spouse leaves the USA, entry back into the USA, even with a valid visa, is not guaranteed.

The entire article about the DOMA repeal legislation and all LGBT strategy can be found at http://dcagenda.com/2009/12/10/no-doma-repeal-next-year-nadler and is a worthy read.

So it seems to me that it is now all about building the support.  If this is the only way that this repeal happen then it is incumbent on all of us to get ourselves and families out there in front of our politicians – not giving up our dollars so easily to rusty old campaigners- and looking for the blood that beats from hearts such as ours.

 Even though we need to call our senators and members of Congress, asking them to sign on to the bill, we still need to wake America up to the fact that we exist, we are decent and we are not going away.

Gay Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) hasn’t signed on as a co-sponsor to Nadler’s bill, saying that lawmakers will instead focus on other LGBT issues this Congress and the bill’s trasport provision could cause political problems for House members seeking re-election. I completely disagree – this is a damned if you do and damned if you don’t moment.   I am so appalled at the tip- toe –thru- the –tulips  technique that smacks of low- self- politcal -rights- esteem. 

The article points out that  Nadler said he hasn’t “had too many conversations” with Pelosi on the proposed DOMA repeal since it was introduced, but noted that the speaker has privately encouraged House members to co-sponsor the bill. We all know – healthcare-healthcare-healthcare – financial crisis – queers get to the back of the line and with a little luck we may still be here for you when we get to you.  A big miscalculation by our own leadership – the timing -   did they think that a healthcare debacle and  would be the impetus for our legislation or the measure of faded promises?

  DC Agenda also reports Nadler had not spoken much with Frank on the issue since the bill’s introduction and from this I garnish perhaps some harsh feelings remain, a sense I had from my own discussions with senior staffers close to both Congressmen when the new bill was originally introduced. I believe Frank felt slighted at the fact that Nadler had jumped in with the all-encompassing legislation (The Big One) that would may have rendered Frank’s pets ENDA and DADT redundant.

Although supporters have said other bills will take priority this Congress, advocates for the DOMA repeal have hoped for congressional hearings on marriage by the end of next year. This is where the support can happen as we bring our stories to DC. 

Right now we cannot allow ourselves to be put off by or rely on a fragmented strategy and ineffective leadership we cannot  miss our beat – we have our work cut out for us more than ever.  This is our lives they are playing with and we don’t have time anymore. We have to play this differently to what we have been doing – or not doing! Eevery queer- gay- lesbian- treansgender- bi- questioning must get their story out to our members of Congress and Senators, in more than mere letter form.  Forget those standard letters they keep sending you to send – do this do that – blah – okay do it but that is not all you need to do. Write your own letter explaining who you are, what you do, what you like, what you want, tell them about your kids and how much everything is costing you without your rights. Get personal.  Our members of Congress are asking you to do it. Nadler has asked repeatedly to hear from our community. They want to meet you. Make an appointment with your member of congress or a staffer of your Senator. Turn uop and say I am here to collect my rights. Be nice be polite – let them see we are decent normal people.

Dc Agenda adds the quotes  -  “Some of the people we’re dealing with are very busy with a number of other things.”   There’s not a sense of urgency, the sense that this bill has to have a Senate sponsor right now because it’s going to pass right now, because it’s not, so we’re talking.” Even without a sense of urgency among lawmakers, Nadler said he thinks DOMA should be repealed because it’s “a stain on the national honor.” – Indeed I agree with Rep Nadler, but for me, because  it is such a severe civil rights abuse it is unconscionable, yet it is always on the backburner. 

Excluding a handful, our lawmakers do not care about us gays and lesbians – we are not a priority – and like an abandoned child I must cry and  tell them who I am – we must all cry out loudly now.  Rep. Nadler is a dear friend to our community, he can do no wrong in my eyes;  he is willing to truly stand up for what he believes to be the right thing, fearless of political misfire.  I know no other member of Congress as truly concerned– and so it is with gratitude that I commend the Congressman for being so open in the interview.  I know he is up against a huge brick wall and he is in essence begging for OUR help.

 Write a personal letter; attach photographs. Do it three times a year. Send a Holiday card with your family picture and tell them you are waiting for your equal treatment. It will go a long collective way.  Imagine if one in  every ten cards turns out to be from a queer constituent.

When it comes to UAFA – the major obstacle that UAFA supporters will face is opposition from Catholic leaders. This what I have been saying for a long time. The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops has urged lawmakers to exclude the provision from immigration reform because church leaders support reform, but oppose the LGBT-specific provision. The recent Manhattan Declaration certainly adds to this taint.  

Rep. Nadler said opposition to UAFA from Catholic leaders will make inclusion of the measure in the bill “a very difficult fight.”  This is precisely why I have been personally advocating for UAFA as a stand- alone Bill to give LGBT couples immigration rights; this is what I am sure Rep Nadler would have preferred. But one man can’t take on all.

I have been in disagreement with the Immigration Equality strategy since June of this year when they failed to pursue UAFA as a stand -alone at the appropriate time.  My earlier articles refer to this in more detail. Hanging around waiting for immigration reform has hurt binationals and the UAFA cause really badly. I pray that this strategy will work in the long run. I cannot wait to eat my words!  I too have had to join this imposed badwagon and have indeed risen to the occaision.  However as an advocate currently helping other binationals in crisis,  on a daily basis, this strategy is not serving us and remains risky and costly.  

I am not sure if the politicians get quite how cruel this lack of law is.  I rue the day when Steve Ralls and Immigration Equality sold out the “equality” in immigration for “immigrant reform.”  They might as well change their name to just that. It may seem like semantics, but it is not, and I fear our time has been lost by this dire distraction.

Even with opposition from Catholic leaders, Ralls said the list of religious groups who support the inclusion of UAFA in immigration reform “is very long and diverse,” and includes Quakers and Episcopalians. Ralls underestimates the Catholic power and did he forget the religious right?  The problem is that the Catholic leaders are now knee deep in our civil life and shoulder deep in immigration matters.

Ralls told DC Agenda  - “If the Conference of Catholic Bishops decides that they’re willing to throw the immigrant community under the bus because of the inclusion of LGBT couples, I think that would be a shame because, at the end of the day, immigration reform can help millions of families — both gay and straight — and that should be Congress’ priority.”  Well duh ….. it would be a shame, but what do you think is going to happen and when did you think people came ahead of zealot agenda and religious ferver seeking a bed in the center of Congress? It will not be seen as the fault of the Church it will be used against us and it will hurt. As the Catholic Church prepares to shoot its devotees in the toe, mostly Latina immigrants, the gay community will be vilified further and there will be a huge rise in Latina vs. gay animosity. 

We do not need it. It is a dire strategy by chosing it we are not bringing our exiles home. Why are you not fighting for the stand-alone based- not on immigration reform but rather based on the question of inequality; what about equality for the American gay  spouse who cannot sponsor a spouse?  Why have you coupled our inequality with immigration reform? It makes no sense to me. Entering the world of religious homophobia – purposefully, thinking that is our answer. We need UAFA as a stand- alone bill and now it may be too late.

When asked whether he would support immigration reform legislation that doesn’t include a UAFA provision, Nadler replied, “I hope it doesn’t come to that.” “All my efforts are designed to make sure it doesn’t come to that, so I’m not going to get into what happens at that point,” he said.

Again I urge my brothers and sisters to pick up the fight – we cannot sit back anymore – we all need to put a story in a card to our Reps.  Keep a look out there will be more to come and soon…

Blogged by melanie nathan,
www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com
nathan@privatecourts.com
Picture: Rep. Jerrold Nadler & melanie nathan.

12/5/09-by Paula Brooks
Already at odds with the Roman Catholic Church over such issues as gay rights and the liberalization of that country’s abortion laws, this week, the Spanish Socialist government of Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, has taken the first step towards banning crucifixes in Spain’s Public schools.

This move comes in the wake of a ruling last month by the European Court of Human Rights judgment against Italy that said displaying the Christian symbol violates children’s right to freedom of religion.

Three years ago, an Italian mother, Soile Lautsi, took her cause to the European Court of Human Rights after failing to get crucifixes removed from the school at which her two children were being taught at a town in north-east Italy by Italy’s Constitutional Court.

Classroom crucifixes were made compulsory in that country by two laws put into place under Italy’s fascist Dictator Benito Mussolini that made Catholicism the official religion of Italy.

Similar laws were also put in place in Spain under Spain’s fascist Dictator Francisco Franco. Under Franco, Catholicism in its most conservative variant was made official religion of the Spanish State. The Spanish Public Education was essentially handed over to the Church, Civil servants had to be Catholic, and some official jobs even required a “good behavior” statement by a priest. Divorce and homosexuality were also forbidden, as were artificial contraception and abortion.

The verdict prompted anger in fiercely Catholic Italy, where an opinion poll showed 84 percent of the public was in favor of crucifixes in schools, and was condemned by the Vatican. The Italian government has also said it would seek to appeal the decision to the Strasbourg court’s 17-member Grand Chamber, however if that petition is rejected, or if an appeal is subsequently thrown out, then Italy would be obliged to comply with the courts order.

The European Court ruling prompted Spain’s ruling Socialists to take action  Wednesday and a Spanish parliamentary commission approved by 20 votes to 16 a motion calling on Madrid to implement November’s ruling by the Strasbourg court.

Some observers however are saying that the Spanish Government actions to remove the crucifixes are part of a larger conflict between Spain’s current government and the Roman Catholic Church.

Last month after the Spanish Parliament passed a bill that will allow abortion until the 14th week of pregnancy and, in cases of extreme fetal deformity, at any time during pregnancy, the Catholic Church announced it will excommunicate Spanish law makers who voted in favor of the bill.

That call prompted several Spanish Socialist politicians and political commentators to push back and call for an end of the Catholic Churches Tax Exempt status.

Many in Spain say the rapidity with which by the Spanish government acted on the issue and its willingness to implement the ECHR’s ruling even before the final outcome of the Italian appeal is known, is a not so subtle warning to the Vatican to stay out of Spanish politics.

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Senator Leahy and Melanie Nathan 6/3/09

By Melanie Nathan:- When I met Senator Leahy, I was touched by his compassion, his sensitivity and his veracity. Most of all he is a champion for equality and as a supporter of UAFA, and has done much for our LGBT binational immigration.   I would like to support Senator Leahy in his endeavors, first and foremost because he has my trust and faith.

On Tuesday Senator Leahy took to the Senate floor and formally filed an amendment to repeal the antitrust exemption for health insurance companies and it has already 18 co-sponsors signed on.

In the senator’s words, “I look forward to debating this critical measure during our deliberations on the broader health care reform bill. After all, to bring insurance costs down, we’ve got to introduce more competition in the marketplace — and my amendment will do just that.”

More Senators ought to join to get this critical amendment passed. 

Click here to forward an email to your Senators now — and urge them to support our amendment to repeal the antitrust exemption for health insurance companies!

I have not read the amendment but the Senator assures that amendment will introduce antitrust oversight to the health insurance industry, ruling out of bounds egregious anti-competitive conduct like the currently activated and detrimental price fixing loophole which  raises our health costs.  

There will be no real Health Care reform until, inter alia, the health insurance industry is forced to compete on a level playing field just like every other business in America, large and small. In all fairness, consumers must know that the price they’re being quoted is a concomitant of a free and fair marketplace.

The senator in a letter to his on-line community implored our support “That’s why this amendment repealing the health insurance industry’s antitrust exemption is so important — but I need your help, right now, to get it passed.” Call your representatives and Senators to ensure they support the Bill and this critical principle.

  By Melanie Nathan:  38-24 –numbers that may win someone the lottery some day but could not be more invidiously representative of anything other than the most pusillanimous* perfidy of the year…

 The people of New York State are not against Gay marriage, yet its representatives are; how does one explain such a phenomenon?  The deliberate duplicity of the eight democrats who voted ‘no’ was characterized by Senator Tom Duane as pure betrayal – and the infringing eight are:-

1. Joseph Addabbo (D) (518) 455-2322; 
2. Darrel Aubertine (D) (518) 455-2761;
3. Ruben Diaz (D) (518) 455-2511; 
4. Shirley Huntley (D) (518) 455-3531;
5. Carl Kruger (D) (518) 455-2460; 
6. Hiram Monserrate (D) (518) 455-2529;
7. George Onorato (D) (518) 455-3486; 
8. William Stachowski (D) (518)-455-2426.

CNN reports that the Marist College poll released the same day as Senate vote finds that a majority of New Yorkers support marriage equality at 51-42%.   It is quite ironic that their representatives left their spines at home the day of the vote. They chose to vote NO contrary to their supposed democratic ideals, regardless of fairness for their constituents, and in defiance of colleagues. What can they be afraid of if they are not fearful of re-election? Their ‘no’ votes will not please constituents, given the polls. Could it be a concomitant of their respective personal beliefs – anti-gay; anti-equality; church bonded, some bog donor dangling some big carrot?  I suggest that all the 51 % pro same-sex marriage supporters censure this disdainful crew, through the withdrawal of all support, to the point of bye-bye political careers.  Instead of assisting to make history in the interests of equality this group of schmendricks are now ensconced in the RAINBOW HALL OF SHAME.

 Anger aside, what is truly most hurtful to me is my own ebbing trust; a tide that is pulling me farther and farther out to sea and with every “NO you cannot,” my wedding cake icing, “Yes We Can” flails in its hopeless glaze, as my excruciating retort from the failure of the Democratic Party to hone a faithful and authentic crew, edges to that part of the ocean that slips beyond the horizon. 

 In viewing the roll, every single Republican voted NO – not one of them out of their usual and profoundly effective lock step. Reminiscent of Rex Harrison during ‘My Fair Lady’, “Why can’t the English learn to speak-” ‘why can’t the democrats learn to vote?” This malfunction is the Democratic Achilles heel and New York State is a tip of the iceberg.  If only the democrats could vote in sync each and every time maybe something will change here in ‘Retro-land.’

 Where is our Martin Luther King, to lead us through the streets of this unconscious wasteland; – where the GOOD are few, the BAD are many and the GUTlLESS prevail.

 P.S. Call the Gutless Crew and let them know what you think of their vote.

 (*showing a contemptible lack of boldness and resolve)

Authored by Melanie Nathan- (citizen,  mother, wife,  daughter, queer, a  niece, cousin,  Aunt, Sister, friend,  wise-fool, volunteer, in the box, out the box, – still planet earth, comparative privilege, ever-grateful, trying to feel pain, measured guilt,  abhorred by injustice, glass half full half the time, too well-read and out-traveled; lived in Africa, live in USA, mediator, advocate, activist, idealist, dreamer, doer, done! nathan@privatecourts.com ; www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com

 From the Mediation desk of Melanie Nathan:     Recently in my mediation practice I have had a spate of divorce cases where the spouses (partners)  have been at odds about how to deal with underwater real estate.  When dividing community property real estate, the purpose of the mediator is to assist the parties in  dividing the asset, either through a sale of the property, a buyout by one spouse of fifty percent of the community property equity interest;  and possibly a continuing partnership in the property.  This may also apply where there is no community property and the parties jointly own the property.

 Since the recession and housing bust, there has been an increasing amount of homes either about to be foreclosed or upside down. Often both or one party may still be feeding community or post separation income into  an unviable  property.    These situations may be remedied by short sales, loan modification, divorce settlements providing inter spousal transfers and indemnifications for debt assumed, or simply by walking away.

This difficult situation adds to the stress of divorce, especially if the parties are not in tandem as to the fate of the property.   Some may want to hold on to the property in the hope of a future upside,  and whomever remains on must be prepared to take responsibility for their share of the holding costs, such as mortgage payments, property tax, maintenance costs and insurance.  If one party decides to hold on, there is no likelihood of the other receiving any cash settlement  for an upside down property, regardless of what went into the property or the dream of a future upside.   

 I have had cases where one spouse holds the property, like the sword of Damocles, over the head of the other, asserting they will be stuck with poor credit, unable to find rental accommodation, in legal trouble, creating fear resulting in the threatened party holding on for longer than necessary.   

 This is where a neutral mediator and/or advice of a consulting attorney is imperative.  The neutral can help the party step out of the dream into reality.  The neutral provides a safe and peaceful environment for joint exploration of the remedies and can facilitate a productive discussion, helping the parties crunch numbers,  call in other  professionals such as CPA or Mortgage expert to assist with the analysis.  

Fear, misunderstanding  and false senses of security ought not stand in the way of moving forward. It is important to pursue the evolving legal remedies.   These cases need to be mediated rather than litigated. Positioning and pos toward resolving all the issues. Using separate attorneys can be counter- productive and may result in wasted precious time, while throwing good after bad. A party can always have a separate consulting attorney on the side.  

 With all this in mind I was delighted to come across an article by Kenneth R. Harney, November 29, 2009, in the LA times: “Professor advises underwater homeowners to walk away from mortgages; Brent T. White, a University of Arizona law school professor, says that it’s in the homeowners’ best financial interest to stiff their lenders and that it’s not immoral to do so.” … read on…   ( A MUST READ!)

“Go ahead. Break the chains. Stop paying on your mortgage if you owe more than the house is worth. And most important: Don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t think you’re doing something morally wrong.

That’s the incendiary core message of a new academic paper by Brent T. White, a University of Arizona law school professor, titled “Underwater and Not Walking Away: Shame, Fear and the Social Management of the Housing Crisis.”

White contends that far more of the estimated 15 million U.S. homeowners who are underwater on their mortgages should stiff their lenders and take a hike.”  

 This Article, a breathe of fair air, served to endorse my sentiment which I have not hesitated to express in mediation. These are unusual times.  Although the facts of each case may seem similar, they all have a distinctive circumstance and the facts must be explored in detail before a strategy is employed. The one piece of generic advice that I can impart is that one spouse should not be held hostage by the other to a hope or dream about the  future of the property, or to any obligation.  Divorce provides a unique opportunity to walk away from the property and leave it in the hands of the Party who does not want to give it up.  The mediator can help draft documents to reflect such an undertaking by one, documenting the discussion that led to the decision.      The change in spousal relationship can have an impact on negotiations with mortgage lenders and indemnities can be established between spouses for an element of protection if the lender pursues the non-owner spouse in the future.  Also of course a plan can be made for both to walk away. 

 Save your money,  and muster up six months of rent instead of paying it into the property. If you have bad credit and need to rent a property you can offer a few months of advance rental.  However BUYER BEWARE – when you pay rental ahead- be sure that the home you are renting is not about to be foreclosed upon as you may find yourself the victim of the Landlord’s inability to pay his/her mortgage.  

 I believe that walking away from an expensive dream opens the door for an inexpensive reality and good nights of sleep. 

MELANIE NATHAN 
nathan@privatecourts.com
www.privatecourts.com
www.divorcemediators.us

 By Melanie Nathan -  After much back and forth emanating from my article on the Manhattan Declaration, a comment by Paula Brooks (thanks Paula) sent me scurrying to the CATH PEWS site.  If you have read the thread of over 100 comments from the latter article, you will note the tussle between LGR and CATH PEWS.  The site Administrator of Cath-Pews has denied gay hate, anti-gay language, yet it is very easy to find.  The articles they provide to enhance their arguments against gay marriage are hateful in purpose. It is there to subvert our rights and our equality.  How else can it be construed?

 So having been challenged by the admin of Cath -Pews I am providing a cryptic analysis based of one such article promoted by Cath Pews.   I have provided a demarcation between the article wording and my comments as can be seen from ITALIC BOLD = CATH-PEWS and REGULAR= Melanie.

 ANDERSON:-   ARTICLE :_
How to Make the Case for Marriage ,
(Using Non-religious Language)  
By Mary Jo Anderson

 Whether we like it or not, secularism is the dominant mode of public discourse today. Even those we encounter who are not “anti-faith” often place a high value on their understanding of “separation of church and state.”  Catholics must therefore be prepared to support moral positions without recourse to Scripture or religious vocabulary. That is an enormous challenge to Catholics who want to defend and preserve marriage as the only healthy model for an orderly society.  Before we go any further, we should make it clear that using secular terms to make the case for marriage in secular terms in no way suppresses or denies the faith. While it does omit a higher dimension of marriage, the secular case is effective because all truth—including the truth about men and women, marriage and family—is God’s truth. 

 MELANIE – Anderson, the Author provides an excuse and subversive means to hide the intention of faith behind overt secular language. This article is all but a ruse a desperate attempt to provide secular legitimacy to a faith based argument.  You cannot hide behind the intention! Simply ridiculous!

 ANDERSON – As such, it has an internal coherence that is part of the created order. One need not credit God with the physical laws of nature, such as gravity, to know that gravity works. Where the physical laws are violated, breakdown occurs. The same goes for the moral realm: A violation of God’s moral order brings chaos in human relationships. The evidence of that chaos is the source of the daily headlines and the nightly news broadcasts. When people of faith make the case for marriage using this kind of evidence, it is less likely to be perceived as “imposing religion.”

 MELANIE:-  This is a flagrant misrepresentation, as is the entire surreptitious intent of this article-  (A Catholic Virtue – to be manipulative and furtive? Anderson is providing the readers a way to Circumvent the truth of their own assertions by trying to slip it into secular form; a clear case of scape-goating?  How do we know that the church itself is not to blame for the depravity on earth?  After all the church has a violent history, borne through war for conversion!

ANDERSON   There is a secular argument for preserving natural marriage as the only legal definition of marriage and the one model of family life deserving of tax relief. The major building blocks are these:

1.             Nations that fail to form families suffer grave consequences, including loss of workers, loss of tax base, and decline in human ingenuity and productivity

MELANIE :-  “The proof of the pudding is in the eating”   as my beloved granny Rose would say: Firstly there are an ever increasing amount of Gay families out there.  In the US and abroad who are contributing to society in a big way.   The new census  2010, may reveal these numbers.  Let me give you my family as one itsy bitsy example and as a metaphor for all of us:-

I am a lesbian. I married spouse under California Law. We have been together for almost 10 years.  

I went to University for many years and have law degrees, which I use in my Conflict Resolution and Mediation practice, which I established over ten years ago.  I used to practice law and decided I would prefer to resolve conflict through mediation.  I function as any other American who owns a business.  The fact that my spouse is of the same sex has zero impact on my productivity or functionality.   In fact I was recently appointed by our County Board of Supervisors as a Commissioner on the County Human Rights Commission.  I serve on the Board as Vice President of A Fair Housing Group and volunteer in our congregation on social justice issues. I volunteer in the Courts to mediate family law matters for people who cannot afford attorneys.  I advocate in DC for equality. I would say about 90% of my free time is devoted to volunteer or pro bono work.   

My spouse teaches Hebrew language to children and adults; as well as bible studies.  She has   almost complete a Masters in Education.  She is brilliant and spends much of her free time with our children.  Our four year old has never had a babysitter because one of us is with the kids at all times.

In fact your argument is so false it makes an argument for the fact that we NEED EQUALITY.  You see we do not get to file Federal tax returns together and so everything costs us more. We have no Federal government benefits.   Your argument highlights that gay families are discriminated (in fact your thesis even calls for the discrimination …”no tax relief..”) against because within the realm of our productivity we are denied the  benefits that you get as a result of your productivity = unequal!   Your productivity does not endure as a result of your sex nor that of your spouse; my production does not occur as a result of my sex or the fact that my spouse is of the same sex.   The government takes our tax money- but as separate and not as joint, while we function as fiscally joint. Your argument has no foundation and simply makes no sense.

We have two daughters.  One was adopted from an orphanage in Vietnam as an infant, suffering from malnutrition and scabies; and is now a thriving all A’s scholar, budding young leader, who loves to help those less fortunate than herself.  She has great talent and will certainly be a productive and well adjusted adult. She will go to University, get a degree, help others, continue to volunteer for our congregation which focuses on helping the needy.  Just last week her class organized a lunch for homeless people in the area. This is not just a one- time event.   

My second daughter was conceived through donor sperm and Artificial Insemination.  She is four now and very smart. We were able to choose sperm of a genius and so have contributed to the population. Who knows maybe our daughter will be President of this Country. Who knows maybe our daughter will be the one to find a cure for diabetes, cancer, aids. Point is – we as a family have conscientiously and decidedly contributed to the increase of population and done so in a responsible fashion.

The adoption costs us about $35,000 and the insemination cost us about $8,000.  So you can see by choosing our modes of ‘birth” if you will, we have contributed to the economy.  We have saved a child from a difficult life and turned it into a situation where she will be ready to give to society in a big way. We pay for childcare, we pay for extra -activities, we pay for clothes, for food

IN SUM ,  Anderson  re my family:

1. We have added to human ingenuity;
2. We provide tax base plus more than we ought to if we had equality;
3.We are an extraordinarily productive family and contribute to our economy in a big way;
4. There are hundreds of thousands of other families like us- maybe millions;
5. If we had equal rights then we would have an opportunity to have more contributing gay families – and increase productivity.    

Conclusion – This  Anderson Argument is DOA!

ANDERSON:-  2. The question is not about denying individual rights but about promoting the good of the whole society.

MELANIE:- This is the argument that I just cannot understand. Most Pedophiles are straight white men.  Most incest occurs via straight fathers raping their children.  The US divorce rate is high;   we all know and easily condoned by Churches – some of which choose annulment. The latter simply denies the marriage ever took place even though there are children. Is that not destructive on society and morality?  

This particular statement made me laugh because of the contradiction in terms.  Ms. Anderson   we will be promoting the good of society if we had equal rights.  How can you on any level think that by denying equality society will improve? (Maybe we ought to bring Jesus in here – lest I forget this is a secular argument.)   Inequality leads to hate, validates inequities and injustice on a secular level. The scales are tipped. People suffer terrible hardship, such as Shirley Tan who highlights the plight of all  binational gay couples.   You tube and hear her testimony.

The question IS about denying rights and in doing so you are promoting an unequal society.  Argument DOA.

ANDERSON:-  3. Marriage and family provide benefits to society by producing, raising, and educating the next generation.

MELANIE:- Gay and lesbian families are in no way deterred in this function. We are already doing this and having equal rights and benefits will only strengthen our ability to be more even productive. Oh yes… Britney Spears marrying for 24 hours is productive; reality shows making a mockery of marriage where you line up bachelors and pretend to fall in love for TV exposure is a fine way to honor marriage and maintain its sanctity.  I could go on…. Let us add this to our secular argument.   Anderson Argument DOA.

ANDERSON:-  4. A strong family life offers the benefits of mental and emotional health.

MELANIE : Gay and lesbian families are in no way deterred in this function. We are already doing this and having equal benefits and rights will only strengthen our health.  Studies have been done to show how stressful it can be not to have equal rights.   

What part of my family life is not strong?  What position is Ms. Anderson in to make that assumption or judgment unless based on falsehood.  Would you like testimonials from my daughter’s school, from my clergy?  From my neighbors, from the homeless guys we fed yesterday?  Are you thinking my kids will turn out to be criminals? Are you presuming that my emotional and mental State is not in good order?  Simply ludicrous.  I can list the names of professionals, judges, politicians, moms, teachers, doctors, scientists, professors who are openly gay and who offer perfect emotional and mental health in living their lives at home and in society.  Who are you using as your example the ‘straight’ Senator with a straight marriage who played tootsie- footsie under the toilet door with a male prostitute?

 It is not possible with the amount of parental involvement and love we provide, to imagine that my home is anything but emotionally stable.  I am  not in need of super nanny and nor do I need a reality show.    There are studies showing that gay parents are of a high caliber and that we provide good and safe homes for our kids. . There are many millions of emotionally imbalanced straight families.  What about the woman, Smith who drove her kids into a pond and drowned them?   The mother who drowned five kids in the bath tub?  The suicides stemming from military returning home from WAR? What about the child abuse day to day; the trash who loose their kids in the night to suspect circumstances? You only have to watch Nancy Grace’s show to see that my life and that of hundreds of thousands of gay families have had nothing to do with the sicko’s in this society.  Straight America is doing fine in its own destruction without gay help or influence. I challenge you to find one gay family convicted of murder.   Anderson argument = DOA

ANDERSON:-  5. These blocks build on the foundation of the common good: shared commitment to a society ordered to the good of the most members.   No Marriage, No Civilization

MELANIE:- Exactly and thanks for making my case and RESTING  MY CASE FOR ME-  THANKS MARY JO ANDERSON – not only have you failed to make your secular argument but you have revealed a furtive attempt to avoid the faith based argument AND  you have successfully made the argument for WHY GAY MARRIAGE EQUALITY WILL ACTUALLY ENHANCE SOCIETY.  

  Yeah – at last We are in agreement marriage – Civilization – Give everyone the right to marriage one person of their choice regardless of sexual identity. This secular argument, albeit furtive,  works after all. It works for our equality and not against it.  So maybe Ms. Anderson your attempts have backfired and you should go back to your religious argument. In truth the religious argument is the only one that may hold any relevance at all and to that end I say thank G-d for the separation of Church and State.

In the words of Anderson per an article on credentials for Bishops “Our bishops must foster authentic marriage and family life. In the heart of the family the dignity of the human person is taught and the future is nurtured. Healthy families are the source of a moral people, ethical citizens, and vocations,” she concluded. ”

In light of this comment Ms. Anderson how hypocritical is it of you to argue against marriage for all G-d’s flock?

  Mary Jo Anderson :-  

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