For some reason there is a stigma attached to single women, both heterosexual and sapphically inclined, if you will.

We can’t seem to shake the belief that we are Nester’s who prefer to “settle in” a comfy-cozy lifestyle and procreate. I for one don’t doubt this, but when such a broad belief is used to generalize the “typical” woman, I’m all about disputing it. There are dozen of ways to categorize women. I just want to address the fact and explore the ideas that some women are perfectly capable of being single and loving it.

To accept this idea we first have to understand that being alone is not a curse, punishment, or sign that no one else wants to deal with us.

It’s a sign that we are perfectly OK “dealing” with ourselves, and because of it able to flourish and lead healthy relationships with others and ourselves respectively. Some women work really hard to establish themselves, and don’t feel it necessary to pursue romance until they’ve reached a certain point of personal success. Ladies we have to know this is OK!

It is romantically irresponsible to attempt your hands at romantic relationships knowing that you may not be available because of time restrictions, intimacy issues, personal problems, or are just plain not in the right place.

Sometimes it’s just that we feel fulfilled and satisfied by ourselves, even sexually, and that an actual partner may just get in the way. The key to combating certain relationship obligations is to know where you stand when it comes to the subject.

I find that being single is so much more beneficial to my success and where I want to go in life.

I’ve been in love, had a live in partner, and was totally and completely committed to her. She gave me the best years of my life. Now I am in a place where I seek a more healthy non-romantic success. Being good in a  relationship can make you feel on top of the world. A great provider, excellent mom, and committed wife can confirm womanhood. True womanhood is defined by being a great woman before you encounter those kind of responsibilities.

Now to get to the meat and potatoes of it all, can confirmed single women feel free to date?

Some daters may feel conflicted, thinking that someone who is happy being single may string one along. Just because a woman enjoys being single doesn’t mean she wont enjoy the company of another especially in a romantic setting. It’s usually the commitment that follows a few good dates that is of no appeal to her.

Which brings me to the idea that after a certain amount of dates, the deal is sealed, and Voila! You have a girlfriend.

A relationship is not determined by the number of dates a pair goes on, but the willingness to take it further after a certain number of dates. Five good dates aren’t parallel to a new relationship, and believing so may scare your partner away. I want to really raise a point that a woman who dates but doesn’t want a seriously, committed relationship doesn’t have to be a player, a whore, or a dog. Wanting to date is fine, even carrying on a consensual, responsible, sexual relationship is fine (I know, I know, groan). My point is that it’s OK to remain single while desiring to date around.

It’s 2009, no longer the Stone Age, women are free to pick their partners, or not pick them.

We can stand alone or strongly together. In a time and country where marriage is barely legal (woot, woot to IOWA and VERMONT) being single may be more secure for some. Validation no longer has to come in the form of pleasing your woman or man. Shame no longer has to follow when you show up to your ten year high school reunion alone.

We are Carrie Bradshaw hear us roarrr- or not.

Fact is we are beautiful beings genetically pre-disposed to provide and nurture our loved ones. We will always be chemically inclined to love and care for the people and things around us. When we choose to do so, is solely left up to us. And I must say, it sure feels good.

You can experience the SPAZ TALK RADIO Lesbian Podcast at spaztalkradio.podomatic.com or on MySpace at myspace.com/spaztalkradio.

So here’s the story…my sis-in-law is ready to buy a home.

She’s got a good job, great credit, a college education, and a good work ethic. She’s a nice person and chicks dig her. Her big flaw, or rather her Achilles heel, is her EX-WIFE, yes in capitals! For the love of all that is holy, my sis-in-law (lets call her N), can’t seem to shake the one person who has brought her so much grief and pain, the one who holds the kids as pawns in her twisted game of “N, give me money or you can’t see them” or “N, pick them up when I need to go party”. But N just never see’s the reality of what THE EX is doing….but that is neither here nor there.

The thing is that N wants to buy a house and make it her home.

But she’s asked us “where is the nearest school?” and “will you pick the kids up from school?”…she obviously didn’t get the memo. Should you really plan on buying a home just to keep on being a slave to your ex? And not just any ex, but THE EX! (this one is a real piece of work, but that’s a whole other story!)

I think my sis-in-law is about to fall into the “lets just move in with N” zone.

You know it…single lesbian, house with extra room. She might as well send an email to every crazy girl with problems, loser-friends, bad credit, ex’s they still deal with and anybody in-between… hey, lets all crash at N’s pad! If N thought it was tough when they were a couple, wait til THE EX continues to squeeze you for your few remaining nickels after you pay a mortgage! It’s giving me chest pains just to think about the oncoming drama!

But in the end all I could tell her was to please get her head together before buying a house and making that big commitment.

The moral of this story:

Get over the girl before buying your house or you will hurt more than you do right now.

(AND YOUR SISTER-IN-LAW WILL NOT PICK UP THE KIDS OR HELP YOU MOVE YOUR STUFF!!! SHE WILL JUST LAUGH AND TELL YOU I TOLD YOU SO!)

Okay – so my mom was never very good at math so I’m not surprised that she didn’t warn me. Now, about 10 years too late, I get this email from a friend:

Subject: Leasing versus Purchasing

The math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is as follows:
After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he got sex every night during their 5 year relationship (which would NOT have happened!) it ended up costing him $26,849 per time.

This is Heather.

On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer’s (former Governor of New York) call girl, Kristen, an absolute stunner with a body like no other, charges $4,000 an hour. For anything!

This is Kristen.

Had Paul McCartney ‘employed’ Kristen for 5 years, he would’ve paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a saving of $41.7 million).

Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, plays all requests, no bitching and complaining or ‘to do’ lists. Best of all, she leaves when you’re done, and comes back when you ask her. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees.

Sometimes leasing makes far more sense.

Two Lesbos Goin At It is at www.twolesbosgoinatit.com